







- * ^ 


>; A o 


>.' J 





. <i^/™j, > 4-° - 

» a'?-' "^o '•^^■f*^ oO 'V '' 







O ♦ A 


-u 

^ ^ C' 

^ ^tKVSSA*' C.' 

- % 

» 0 ^ 0 o “ ® -» 

i.% % A*^ o 

K° K^"^ ^ ■^'#> " 

> V .«•». "cv 


A* »» 

^ * 

-f C°^ 

'^' 'J^ /^{H/'Z^ ’*■ 4 ■' 

V*^ o> o 


b V 




o N 0 ' ^ 


/ J>^\ \ 

.0^ _c »/.».. -^O 







I” '^O ^ • 

^ * <0 V* * ' -4 0 

ri’ ^ ^ ^ 

r\ X* ''' ^^h\ \ vvs^ ' S^ «' 

%> ^ O N O ^ ^ 'O ^ 

'iP ♦^ - * 

"• '^ i' 

: 

A A 


ON O 

C _ ^ O a *• ' ® A ^ 




♦ ^ 


> 

o 


o 

s 

o 

4 


2 

o 




a' ' '-o.T'*'* <G^ ^ 

•» « -V^S^MIIsLu. »y *' 

0 ^ 




J> ^ * 

^y 


b V 






b V 


Pv^ 






O A ^ ” 

^ -^V o* aP '®*'‘ 




* A '^o 

• ?. ^ ‘ .G^ % A 'o . . • 

o « 0 ^ '^o • »■ ' * -» ^(y 0 ° “ ° 

^ 0 ° °o S, > 

% • •--• •* / % / 'V • • ' ■ 

rv> e * • 1. -V*o^ Q^ 






^ A 


=o 


V’'^ 

/ c° °o ./ /•" 

bv^ '"•- 0 ^ ° 

» 

O 


iP-ni. 4 "°^ - 

%^*' y "b. jP % . . 

s V "> 



'^oV 




O 

«r 
«» 

o ^ ^ 

' y 

:fv : 

O- t ■» G u< '-^ <N ^ 








4 



1 


I 

t 

« 



4 



i. . i 

I 

Nov el by 

/ 

b 
« 

« 

A 


Lloyd s. Bryce 




PARADISE 




O ' ' 




A NOVEL, 



FUNK & WAGNALLS. 


NEW YORK: 

1 8 AND 20 ASTOR PLACE. 


1887 


LONDON : 

44 FLEET STREET. 


A ll Rights Reserved 



i 

Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1887, 

By FUNK & WAGNALLS, 

In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington, D. C. 


PARADISE. 


CHAPTER 1. 

Mrs. Pampero threw the paper desperately to the 
floor, and allowed her head to sink into her shapely 
white hands. An advertisement that she had just 
seen offered a means of escape from a position which 
for a long time back had been growing simply intol- 
erable. 

Taking everything into consideration, this position 
was unique. Taking into consideration her ten 
years of spotless married life, her high sense of 
rectitude, and the happiness that married life had 
actually brought her, I might say that hers was per- 
haps the most unique situation that any woman had 
ever imagined for herself. Mrs. Pampero, in a 
word, after a long introspection of her own char- 
acter, found herself inferior to her husband. Not 
that the situation was made unique and paradoxical 
by the fact that Mr. Pampero was in any manner 
more reprehensible, or possessed laxer morals, or even 
a lower grade of intelligence than the majority of man- 
kind ; but the extraordinary circumstance was that 
ten years of married life, instead of doing away with 
her convictions, had, on the contrary, crystallized 
them into a flxed nallucination. To make the matter 
worse, it alwayr irritated Mr. Pampero excessively to 


4 


PARADISE. 


have his wife allude to the subject ; and on the fre- 
quent occasions when she had done so he had en- 
deavored conscientiously, and with a sense of recti- 
tude equal to that which marked her own conduct, 
to argue her out of her belief. For Mr. Pampero was 
no hypocrite, but an easy-going gentleman of mid- 
dle age, inclined to stoutness, and with no greater 
claim to being a paragon than the average Wall 
Street broker or banker x)ossesses. Therefore to be 
set up on a moral pedestal, and to have every little 
kindness or attention on his part magnified into 
proofs of an heroic self-sacrifice, offended all his 
sense of the proprieties of things. 

But when an idea once takes hold of a woman it 
is trite to say that any argument only intensifies it. 
And I doubt not that Mr. Pampero would have done 
better to accept the situation quietly, and to con- 
gratulate himself that the ardent, impulsive nature 
of his wife found so harmless an outlet. At all 
events, he would have been spared the lurid and 
fantastic experiences that it will be my duty to 
record. 

The advertisement she had seen read somewhat in 
this wise, ‘‘ Divorces obtained with perfect secrecy, 
and for any cause. Apply,” etc. This announce- 
ment offered a solution of her difficulties — a solution 
of which the idea had hitherto only vaguely floated 
through her mind from time to time. The advertise- 
ment brought it home to her as something easy and 
definite. And the phrase for any cause” so sim- 
plilied the matter ! Why should she not apply to 
the courts to free, not herself, but her husband, 
from the bonds that held him Was it not her 
Duty — her stern and relentless Duty ? 


PARADISE. 


5 


There was a peculiar trait of Mrs. Pampero’ s char- 
acter that made her love to dwell on the narrow 
edge of a hazardous idea. When that idea carried 
with it a romantic sense of self -martyrdom the im- 
pulse was intensified until it became almost irresist- 
ible. The point at which she hesitated was a prac- 
tical one, — that of putting the idea into execution. 
This hazardous idea of divorce, therefore, was too 
fascinating to be at once relinquished ; and with the 
object of dilating upon it to its utmost extent, or 
possibly of being argued reluctantly out of it, she 
resolved to go and talk over the matter with her 
younger sister. To select the style of costume that 
she conceived suitable to such a discussion required 
no little deliberation, but at last she fixed upon a 
half -mourning serge as most appropriate, and started 
forth upon her visit. 

Kebecca Garland lived with her widowed mother 
in No. 500 East 500th Street, and as Mrs. Pampero 
proceeded thither the very houses along her course 
seemed to lend a shade of their own brown-stony 
grimness to her determination. 

The long, straight, treeless streets of those upper 
regions, too, seemed to point directly to a goal as 
uninviting as her own prospects. And when Mrs. 
Pampero rang the bell of her sister’s residence it 
echoed and re-echoed again the cheerless thoughts 
that were surging in her breast. 

On what trifles important events sometimes hang ! 
The turning-point of Mrs. Pampero’s life hung on 
the detention of Miss Rebecca by her dentist. 

To visit her dentist was Miss Garland’s one great 
dissipation, her lovely rows of pearls requiring con- 
stant attention, it would seem. This morning her 


6 


PARADISE. 


dentist kept' her over the usual time ; and conse- 
quently, when Mrs. Pampero called, Miss Rebecca 
had not yet come home. Almost resentfully Mrs. 
Pampero descended the high front stoop, mentally 
reproaching the dentist for his lack of consideration 
in detaining her sister, and her sister for her infatu- 
ation about her teeth. 

It is exasperating to have the discussion of an all- 
important topic retarded by so trivial a circum- 
stance, and I, for one, can thoroughly appreciate 
Mrs. Pampero’s keen sense of personal injury and 
her irritation against both offenders. Besides, there 
are times in all our lives when it becomes absolutely 
imperative to unbosom ourselves. Under ordinary 
circumstances Mrs. Pampero might have gone and 
unbosomed herself to her husband ; but having done 
this frequently before, the procedure had lost its 
novelty. In addition Mr. Pampero was now at his 
office, on which holy preserve he always strictly for- 
bade his wife to trespass ; still more, she felt the 
burning need of a sympathy and a responsiveness 
of spirit which, as we have said, her husband failed 
to evince on the theme of his own superiority. Mrs. 
Pampero was impulsive. What more natural than 
to visit the lawyer whose advertisement she had this 
morning read, and merely talk the matter over with 
him ? No doubt he was a fatherly man of vast ex- 
perience, and had everything appertaining to divorce 
at his finger-tips. His advertisement spoke of the 
purchase of divorces in the off-hand way in which a 
dealer in stocks speaks of ‘^puts” and ‘‘calls.” 
Why should she not visit him and simply learn 
what the laws were on the subject ? She would put 
the case to him in an impersonal, abstract way, as 


PARADISE. 


7 


if on some one else’s behalf, and thus she could un- 
bosom her pent-up feelings, as it were, by proxy. 
After all, there could be no harm in it. 

Alas ! alas ! how many disasters originate in those 
two little words, ‘‘ no harm” ! It is stated on the 
most reliable authority that when Eve presented 
Adam with that tempting pippin she fondly mur- 
mured, ‘‘ Oh, Adam, what’s the harm !” With Mrs. 
Pampero, to conceive a plan in which there was “ no 
harm” was to carry it into instant execution. So, 
on leaving her sister’s, she drew her veil closely over 
her face, and walking to a wide avenue, entered a 
closely-crowded horse-car with that easy assurance 
of securing a seat that none but a pretty woman can 
ever have. On arriving down-town the city’s noise 
and bustle somewhat disconcerted her, but, by dint 
of a few inquiries, she found, without much diffi- 
culty, the right street and even the enormous struc- 
ture on one of whose upper floors was the office of 
the gentleman in search of whom she had come. It 
was on the seventh floor ; she was quite sure of that, 
and she had his name fixed in her memory. At all 
events, she would recall it when she saw it over his 
door. The elevator letting her out on the seventh 
story, she proceeded down the long passageway, 
narrowly scrutinizing the various signs and descrip- 
tive placards that were displayed on either side. 

Mr. Charles Varian Axel had a quick ear, a very 
comely face, and a person in which he took just 
pride. Mr. Charles Yarian Axel had given up the 
practice of the law after one single and remarkable 
case ; but he happened to occupy one of the numer- 
ous offices on the identical passageway to which 
Mrs. Pampero had just mounted. Because silence 


8 


PARADISE. 


and monotony were intolerable to him, he usu- 
ally left his door ajar, to-day a little more open 
than ordinary, because a faint breeze found a wel- 
come entrance through the crevice. Mr. Axel, be- 
sides having a quick ear, had a somewhat inquisitive 
turn of mind ; consequently, when he heard a step 
and the rustle of a silk dress at his threshold he 
rose from his seat, threw the door wide open, and 
Mrs. Pampero stood before him. 

You may say what you like about women’s pres- 
ence of mind — they haven’t a particle more, as a 
rule, than the sterner sex. Mrs. Pampero was con- 
fused by the sudden opening of the door, as she had 
stopped merely to investigate the name over it. Mr. 
Axel obtained, therefore, the benefit of opening the 
conversation as well as the door. 

‘‘May I trouble you to enter?” he observed, 
claiming with ready tact the visit as meant for him- 
self. “ How can I be of service to you, madam ?” 
he continued as the lady entered. 

“ Thanks, sir, I wished to see — I came — I 
mean — ” and to make matters worse, the name of 
the advertiser so indelibly stamped in her memory, 
the name whose identity was to be established by 
the door-plate, escaped her and fled to those mys- 
terious regions where forgotten names have a knack 
of going. 

The door was already closed, and the door-plate 
was consequently now on the outside. “ I wished 
to see a — lawyer,” she stammered out at last. 

“ I am one, madam.” 

“ A lawyer — that — that — advertised for — ” 

“Advertised for?” repeated Mr. Axel, interrog- 
atively. 


PARADISE. 


9 


A lawyer that advertised for — ” the word would 
not come out. It was too awkward ! He was so 
much younger than the fatherly gentleman she had 
naturally expected to see, and tears of vexation 
mounted to her eyes. And yet he looked so sym- 
pathetic as he stood over her and placed a chair by 
the table ! He had that rich, red-and-brown com- 
plexion which dark eyes light up so well, and which 
is so effectively set off by a subdued crimson tie. 
Besides, his eyes, now that she came to notice them, 
had an expression of far-away sadness, seeming to 
speak of some secret inner life hidden from the gaze 
of men. He appeared such a thorough gentleman, 
too — and all these facts, together with the reflection 
that he was, at any rate, a lawyer, even were he not 
the one of whom she was in search, conspired to 
make Mrs. Pampero give way. She therefore re- 
solved to appeal to him — not, of course, making her- 
self the heroine of her tale, but with a fictitious 
character, and as if her own efforts were simply dic- 
tated by a pure and disinterested friendship. 

“ I came to consult you,” she said, ‘‘ on the — on 
the divorce laws but she gave a little nervous 
laugh all the same. 

Mr. Yarian Axel ran his hand through his. dark 
chestnut hair, a slightly more sympathetic cadence 
vibrated in his voice, a slightly more accentuated 
fervor shone through his eyes. ‘‘ On the divorce 
laws he repeated. 

‘‘Not for myself,” she recovered herself to add 
quickly, “but for another. I wish to know their 
bearing. I — I have a friend in trouble.” 

“ Will you not remove your veil, madam ? I can 
get so much easier at the matter face to face with 


10 


PARADISE. 


my clients. Your friend’s secret will be safe with, 
me — even if I had the honor of her acquaintance.” 

After all, there was no objection ; and as she had 
come in behaK of another, there could be no excuse 
for concealing her own identity. 


CHAPTER II. 

Mrs. Pampero removed the veil, but as she did 
so she flushed slightly. She was of that enchanting 
age when the buds of youth have just burst into the 
full blossom of womanhood. Mrs. Pampero blushed 
as she raised her veil, and Mr. Axel started slightly, 
as if the face were not unfamiliar to him. 

‘‘Yes,” she continued, “ I have a friend in trou- 
ble, in deep trouble, — one of the troubles that can 
only be appreciated by those whose sensibilities are 
quick and whose emotions are generous.” Mr. 
Axel looked as if he were amply able to meet these 
requirements. 

“ Now, I have come to you, sir, to learn the laws 
concerning divorce, or to see, at all events, whether 
a separation cannot be obtained.” 

“ The laws of divorce, madam, are — multifarious,” 
replied Mr. Axel guardedly. “ Might I inquire the 
cause of this unhappiness ? The simple brutality of 
the husband will be quite sufficient, I presume, to 
establish the case.” 

“ But it isn’t because of his brutality. Indeed,” 
continued Mrs. Pampero, for the first time realizing 


PARADISE. 


11 


the true difficulty of explaining the situation, the 
cause is rather the reverse.’’ 

‘‘ The brutality of the lady, then,” he inquired, 
endeavoring to conceal his surprise. 

‘‘No, sir ; it is the case of a woman being unfitted 
for her husband. Of a woman who — ” 

“ I see, madam ; incompatibility of temper, we 
call it now.” 

“You are wrong again, sir. The case is one that 
rises superior to any such hackneyed situation. It 
is one of a woman who, after six years” — (oh, Mrs. 
Pampero, why did you not say ten ?) — “ who, after 
six years of married life, wakes to the conviction of 
her great — of her colossal insufficiency ; a woman 
who is not exactly mcious^ who is not, in the ordi- 
nary acceptation of the word, im-im-moral— base, I 
mean — but who recognizes in every fibre of her 
nature her inferiority to her husband. Oh, tell me, 
sir,” she continued, passionately, “ how can such a 
woman find relief for her conscience in keeping her 
husband in the thraldom of his marital ties ? How 
can she dissolve the bonds that chain him down to 
her own insufficiency ?” 

“ Madam, she must go to Paradise,” replied Mr. 
Axel decisively. “ The courts here would fail to 
appreciate the situation. She must go to Paradise 
without a doubt.” 

“ But how could I ever go to such a place — I 
mean my sister — I mean — ” realizing the enormity 
of her words and the aspersion cast upon her sister 
so unjustifiably — “ I mean my friend ?” 

Mr. Axel looked out of the window absent- 
mindedly. “Yes,” he said, speaking at last very 
deliberately, “ she must certainly go to Paradise. 


PARADISE. 


An acquaintance of mine, whose case was similar to 
that of the husband of your unfortunate friend, in- 
vestigated the laws with a vieAv to his own relief. 
When it came, however, to applying to the courts, 
the exquisite sensibility of his nature revolted at 
the thought of holding up his wife’s deficiencies to 
the public gaze, and instead of doing so, his con- 
stant effort, on the contrary, has been to conceal 
them and to show by neither word nor deed that he 
is even himself aware of them. It is a hard ease, a 
very hard case, madam, I assure you.” 

Mrs. Pampero clasped her hands. ‘‘ Does he bear 
ui) under it V’ she asked breathlessly. 

‘‘ He was making a desperate effort when last I 
saw him,” was the reply, ‘‘but the strain on his 
nervous system was growing intolerable. Indeed, 
madam, we talk of the martyrs of old, but there are 
domestic martyrdoms that we little suspect going 
on beneath our eyes every day.” 

Mrs. Pampero unconsciously drew her handker- 
chief and pressed it to her eyes. “ And you know 
this man ?” she interrupted him to exclaim. 

“ He was a member of my club,” was the some- 
what evasive answer ; “ but now he has begun to 
forsake it, and his old friends know him no more.” 

“ His name ! his name !” impulsively cried Mrs. 
Pamiiero. “ I can feel for him.” 

“His name? Well, madam, of course I would 
not have you repeat it, for he is one of our best- 
reputed citizens ; but if you insist on it, it is Mr. 
Pampero, the banker.” 

Mrs. Pampero started as if subjected to the new 
electric cure for spinal meningitis. Mixed vexation 
and despair struggled for the mastery. To be told 


PARADISE. 


13 


to lier face that she was unfitted for her husband 
was a very different thing from having her own con- 
science tell her so. Besides, the thought of having 
her husband openly descant upon his misfortunes ! 
Ah, the bru — ! No, she would not lose command 
of herself — she was inferior to him ; she gloried in 
the idea ; she would glory in it. Her glorying in 
her inferiority to him was, indeed, her only claim 
to superiority over other women. 

All this time Mr. Varian Axel was gazing artlessly 
out of his lofty window, which commanded a sus- 
pension bridge, twenty-five steeples, and about fifty 
square miles of river glistening in the morning sun. 
It was with feelings controlled by her last resolve 
and by reflection on her husband’s sorrowing life 
that she turned again to her youthful monitor. 
‘‘You tell me,” she exclaimed in a chastened spirit, 
“ that he is giving way, you think, under the 
mental strain f ’ 

“ Madam, Mr. Pampero possesses a peculiar- 
ly sensitive disposition. Ordinary people would 
scarcely understand — much less appreciate — his 
trials. Deceived by a well-counterfeited stolidity, 
they even regard him as the picture of contentment. 
But, then, there is that secret canker always gnaw- 
ing at his heart-strings.” 

“ What would you advise ? Oh, tell me — I am 
weak — I see you have divined my secret — I mean 
my sis — I mean my friend’s — what would you have 
my friend do 

“ If your friend really cares for her husband, and 
the case is parallel to the one I have drawn, if she 
really loves him as he deserves, I would have her 
make the move, and go to Paradise at once. I 


14 


PARADISE. 


would have her make it before her resolution has 
had time to waver, — before vacillation and weakness 
have wrecked her truly sublime sense of duty.” 

Mrs. Pampero rose from her interview, and blush- 
ingly removing a fifty-dollar bill from her purse, 
handed it to Mr. Axel. I believe a fee is cus- 
tomary under the circumstances, is it not, sir 

It was Mr. Axel’s turn to be confused. That is 
somewhat in excess of my usual charge,” he stam- 
mered. Then as she persisted, “ I have never taken 
a fee in my — I mean I make a practice of giving my 
advice — gratuitously,” he added with a bow. 

Mrs. Pampero withdrew, and as Mr. Varian Axel 
closed the door — Yes, by Jove ! but I ought to 
have kept it as a retainer,” he said. All of which 
went to show how little accustomed each one was to 
the hard, prosaic methods on which the business of 
this hard, j)rosaic world is conducted ; and that, 
taking everything into consideration, Mr. Yarian 
Axel could scarcely have been the gentleman who 
had advertised for clients. 

For different causes Mrs. Pampero, on arriving 
home, became herself convinced of this ; since, on 
looking over the advertisement sheet, she discovered 
that the correct name was A. P. Brooms. A. P. 
Brooms could never be the name of the young man 
with whom she had held her interview. He cer- 
tainly did not look as if his name could have been 
A. P. Brooms. But he was a lawyer, and had lorob- 
ably given her more disinterested advice than a mere 
dry-as-dust would have done. Such a noble course 
to pursue — to practise his profession without pecu- 
niary reward ! Certainly he was young, — but was 
youth to be despised? On the contrary, it was 


PARADISE. 


15 


in his favor ; for Mrs. Pampero rather affected the 
society of young men. She had confidence in them, 
and she loved to encourage them in their arduous 
careers. He had not told her what she wanted to 
hear. But was not this rather an additional proof 
of his disinterestedness and wisdom ? Most men 
would have tried to argue her out of her conviction, — 
would have tried to persuade her from her purpose ; 
would even have laughed at her pui’pose as a 
strained effect of her own imagination. He appre- 
ciated the psychological dilemma with a delicacy 
and a quickness that were quite remarkable. He 
had, besides, the manliness to confirm her in her 
belief, and even to show her, by delicate implication, 
the terrible result likely to ensue, did she not soon 
take a decided course. To be sure he did not know 
her, but what a remarkable coincidence that he 
should have knowm her husband ! What would he 
think if he ever discovered her identity ? Would 
he be overcome with chagrin ? The thought was 
titillating. Her husband — she would ask him about 
this young man, — the character he bore, — whether 
he was dissipated or not. She hoped not. With 
such eminent legal attainments and with such brill- 
iant opportunities as the bar held out, there was 
nothing that he might not aspire to. And as she 
lay on her lounge that long, hot summer afternoon, 
she taxed her memory with the effort to recall the his- 
tory of young men’s lives, how they had succeeded, 
in spite of privations and difficulties, and how finally 
they had climbed to the highest altitudes — ^becoming 
Secretaries of State, Presidents, — yes, and even 
Ministers Plenipotentiary (Mrs. Pampero, like many 
women I know, ranked diplomatic positions above 


16 


PARADISE. 


all others). How well he would look in a court cos- 
tume, and what demagogues those Washington peo- 
ple were to abolish diplomatic uniforms ! Yes, she 
would ask her husband about this young man, — 
Avould question him about his character, would in- 
quire of him, for instance, and as a perfectly abstract 
question, whether his advice ought to be taken. 
But the preposterous idea of asking a man whether 
the advice of another counselling his own wife to 
leave him ought to be taken, struck even Mrs. Pam- 
pero, and brought a plaintive, saddened smile to her 
lips. 

Besides, there was the same awkward dilemma 
about his name ; she knew nothing more about it 
than that it could not be A. P. Brooms. A. P. 
Brooms, indeed ! The idea was revolting. Shake- 
speare asks, through Juliet’s lips, what there is in 
a name. My own humble opinion is there is much 
in a name ; a Reginald St. John, a Yere de Yere 
carries more weight than a Stubbs, and if you don’t 
believe it try it on the bottom of a canvas, try it be- 
fore the footlights, or at the end of a certificate of 
cure by any patent medicine. Yes, there is a great 
deal in a name, and the idea of A. P. Brooms being 
the designation of this young lawyer was repellent. 

The day was hot, and summer days are long ; how 
the mind runs away with one on days like these ! 
The air, laden with the perfume of the ailantus 
trees, breathed upon her softly, and transformed 
to melody the commonplace noises from the 
streets below. She was being lulled into a perfid- 
ious enervating repose. She must be up and 
doing. But what should she do ? What ought she 
to do ^ And then that imperative advice. Go to 


PARADISE. 


17 


Paradise ! Go to Paradise ! rang and rang again like 
a call to her conscience, mingling with the incessant 
tinklings of the distant horse car bells, with the rat- 
tling of the carts and wagons on the stony pave- 
ments, and giving to the most prosaic sounds the 
meaning of a command. What ought she to do ? 
“ Go at once — don’t wait until your resolution has 
had time to waver, and vacillation and weakness 
wreck your truly sublime sense of Duty.” So had 
the young man spoken. Duty certainly called upon 
her to make the sacrifice, and go to Paradise she 
would. 


CHAPTER III. 

The several stages by which Mrs. Pampero arrived 
at her resolution may be unjustly ascribed by nar- 
row-minded and unreasonable critics to impulse, but 
I am appealing to a higher order of natures, — to 
those whose quickened sensibilities and generous 
emotions, as she herself had said, enable them to 
analyze correctly the secret springs of a woman’s 
actions. By such as these Mrs. Pampero’s action 
will not only be understood, but appreciated. She 
was simply putting into execution a long-cherished 
dream of performing some heroic act of self-abnega- 
tion that should be at once a solace to her after 
years, and a lasting deliverance for her husband. 

And what other woman do you know now who 
would go to Paradise in such a cause ? Some 
women go to Paradise because their husbands are 


18 


PARADISE. 


brutes, and inferior to them. Other women go be- 
cause their husbands have sinned, because they have 
made away with their funds, or because they are of 
incompatible tempers. Still other women go to 
Paradise because they are not the only women in 
the case — and gentlemen have been known to go to 
Paradise because there are still other gentlemen in 
their cases. But for a beautiful woman, one who is 
still young, inclined to emhon/point^ but graceful 
nevertheless, to go to Paradise because she recog- 
nizes in every fibre of her nature” her great infe- 
riority to her lord, — for such a woman to go there 
in behalf of his, not her own deliverance, and 
with a vague, undefined trust that, thus released, 
he will at last be able to soar to the heights that he 
has been impeded from reaching, — this, in my own 
humble opinion, is one of the most beautiful cases 
of seK-abnegation and sacrifice that it has ever been 
my privilege to know. 

When she came to prepare for the journey, the 
very magnitude of the sacrifice she was making pre- 
vented her resolution at the last moment from giving 
way, and she started off for Paradise alone, unat- 
tended, sorrowful, but with a touching simplicity 
and a faith in the future that cannot be too highly 
commended. 

Mr. Yarian Axel, on the closing of the door, felt 
all the exhilaration that a man might who, in con- 
sideration of his professional opinion, had been 
offered for the very first time a fee, and this by so 
interesting and so beautiful a woman. There was 
additional piquancy given to the situation by the 
reflection that he had robbed Mr. A. P. Brooms, 
lower down the passage, of a client, since for this 


PARADISE. 


19 


Mr. A. P. Brooms and his devices he had the most 
sincere and heartfelt contempt— a state of mind not 
a little influenced by the numbers of beautiful 
women that Mr. A. P. Brooms’s business drew past 
his own office to the spider-like apartment beyond. 
There was, however, another, and, intellectually 
speaking, a far higher cause for Mr. Yarian Axel’s 
exhilaration. It is one which requires a slight 
digression into his character and jDast life to make 
clear. 

Yarian Axel was in many ways a unique person- 
age. Born with every advantage of talents, fortune, 
and position, the proverbial fairy had yet withheld 
the one gift that would have made his advantages 
of avail. It was not lack of energy or of persever- 
ance ; it was not any predilection to dissipation or 
to drink ; it was not lack of ambition, — for Mr. 
Axel was ambition personified — it was a more deeply 
ingrained difficulty than any of these. Mr. Yarian 
Axel’s defect was a lack of consistency that dis- 
played itself in every act of Mr. Axel’s life, and 
with a pertinacity that belied his most conscientious 
efforts to control. Mr. Axel’s efforts, until he was 
summoned to the bar, had been principally directed 
to literature. A brilliant reviewer, a clever writer 
of short newspaper articles, he would, had he been 
content to stop there, have acquired a fair reputa- 
tion. But aiming higher, his more ambitious per- 
formances, as he was forced to confess, all displayed 
his prevailing tendency — namely, they worked out 
in exactly the reverse order from the lines on which 
they were originally planned. For instance, a novel 
that was to be serious and instructive, with some 
deep underlying purpose, would insensibly change 


20 


PAEADISE. 


about midway, and running into the satirical, was 
sure to close in a perfect blaze of humor ; while in a 
comedy, his last great effort, he found to his dismay 
all the principal characters dying tragically off in 
the fourth act, and no one presumably remaining to 
continue the piece but the scene-shifters and the 
orchestra. The worst of it was that his work, taken 
chapter by chapter, or act by act, was excellent of 
its kind. The far-away look of sadness in his eyes 
which Mrs. Pampero had detected, and which spoke 
of some secret inner life, was caused by the misery 
that the recognition of his incapacity to rectify this 
one defect often caused him. But he was not a man 
tamely to sit down as a nonentity. On the con- 
trary, finding that his talents in literature were un- 
manageable, he threw literature over for the law, 
and entered into its study with an enthusiasm to 
distinguish himself that ought to have carried all 
before it. 

I wish I could say that his efforts were rewarded ; 
but in his very first case, a case confided to his man- 
agement by a rashly indulgent parent, the same old 
trouble, though in a slightly altered shape, pursued 
him. His impassioned argument for his father 
began, in spite of himself, insensibly to change, 
until going over to the plaintiff’s side, it almost 
landed his sire in the criminal’s dock. A long 
period of professional paralysis followed this abor- 
tive effort. For obvious reasons his 'assistance was 
not generally called for, and it is fair to say he did 
not seek to give it. And in the enforced idleness 
that ensued his old love returned. Tlie sacred fire 
was only slumbering, not dead. Literature was cer- 
tainly less dangerous than his practice of the law. 


PARADISE. 


21 


for it possessed no such boomerang proclivity of re- 
coiling on the heads of those he wished to protect. 
It was harmless, injurious to no one— save his 
readers, he grimly argued ; and he was actually 
casting about in his mind for the subject of a new 
novel, when Mrs. Pampero entered and supx3lied 
him with one. All the time he was gazing so art- 
lessly from the window he was in reality sketching 
out the story in advance ; and partly because it 
would add to the interest of the plot, partly be- 
cause he suspected her identity and wished to prove 
it, he introduced that cruel invention of Mr. Pam- 
X^ero’s disquietude. Not that it was done with any 
cruel intent, for Axel was the kindest creature 
alive ; nor was it done with the deliberate x^nrpose 
of influencing her conduct ; but the fact was, Mr. 
Axel was so deex^ly imbued with the literary instinct 
that the temptation to discover whether she was, as 
he suspected, the wife of his father’s old acquaint- 
ance, could only be satisfied by discovering her 
identity in a novel manner. 

But there was the same old dilemma— how could 
he maintain its consistency, should he attempt an- 
other romance ? And a sudden insx3iration striking 
him, he followed Mrs. Pampero out into the street 
barely a minute after she had left his office. He 
even followed her to her house, and waited outside 
till she came out again. Further, he followed her 
to Twenty-third Street and saw her purchase her 
ticket for Paradise, and, lastly, when the train, 
some few hours later, started for that well-known 
city, he followed her in the largest and roomiest 
compartment that the last sleeping-car on the same 
train contained. The purport of his sudden inspira- 


22 


PARADISE. 


tion was to give liis inconsistency no chance to dis- 
play itself, and by keeping close to the heroine and 
watching her, to model a realistic romance upon her 
actions. 


CHAPTEH lY. 

What made Mr. Pampero linger at his office later 
than usual this afternoon is a mystery not easy of 
solution. Business had been more than ordinarily 
slack, and the large staff of clerks could have easily 
accomplished all there was to be done. Neverthe- 
less, Mr. Pampero lingered, and it was past live 
o’clock when he left his office and started for his 
usual walk up-town. 

How much character there is in a man’s walk ! I 
have heard a keen observer remark that he could 
distinguish a man’s occupation in life by his very 
back as he followed behind him. One man slouches, 
as if ashamed of his occupation, or nervously slinks 
along ; the step of another is quick and energetic, 
as if he had been born five minutes too late and were 
continually trying to make up for lost time ; while 
another, with head erect and majestic carriage, 
presses his foot squarely on the pavement, as if the 
earth and all thereon were his own special belong- 
ing. The walk of Mr. Pampero was none of these 
kinds of walks distinctly developed ; it was simply 
an average man’ s walk, — ^like yours or mine. N ever- 
theless, it brought him in good time to his home and 
carried him up-stairs to his room. It even carried 


PARADISE. 


23 


him without mishap to his wife’s dressing-table, 
upon which lay a note in his wife’s handwriting ad- 
dressed to himself. 

There is always something sinister about a note 
left by one’s wife on her dressing-table and addressed 
to one’s self ; something mysterious, too, and start- 
ling. Mr. Pampero opened the note, and these few 
words proved the uneasiness it excited was not un- 
warranted : Gone to Paradise,” it said — ‘‘ Gone 
to Paradise at last, and for your dear salce.'^^ 

“ Gone to Paradise !” cried Mr. Pampero aghast. 
Then he dropped into an easy-chair and pressed his 
hand to his brow in deep perturbation. 

There are three courses open to a man when his 
wife goes to Paradise : 

First. He can telegraph her peremptorily to re- 
turn ; a mandate which, as she has gone voluntarily, 
the chances are that she will disregard. 

The second course is to pursue her, with the 
chances of having a long journey for nothing. 

The third course is to find some other man’s wife 
to console one ; some one whose husband either has 
himself gone to Paradise or is blessed with suffi- 
cient amiability of disposition not to interfere. 

Mr. Pampero turned over these several courses in 
his mind, and failing to hit upon the best one, re- 
solved to walk over to the well-known detective 
agency of Colonel Pinkerton. The upshat of his 
visit was that he placed the whole matter in the 
detective’s hands ; and then, returning again to his 
deserted home, he called for a tub of hot water and 
mustard. 

Whenever Mr. Pampero was in a serious dilemma 
he used hot water and mustard to his feet. It was 


24 


PARADISE. 


liis unfailing reconrse— liis panacea for every evil. 
If lie lost money by a wrong venture, or the market 
turned against him, Mr. Pampero bathed his feet. 
The counter-irritation of the mustard, he averred, 
left his head free and clear to take thought. In 
consequence of this he was often enabled to plan 
some of those great financial coups by which he re- 
covered from the effects of the very misfortunes for 
which he had had recourse to the application. 

With the window open and his feet in the tub, the 
gas half turned down (for it was by this time even- 
ing), Mr. Pampero was disturbed in his meditations 
by the violent ringing of his street bell, and a 
moment afterward by the entrance of his servant 
announcing an important communication from the 
detective agency just mentioned. 

With that cat-like air of mystery and secret under- 
standing that detectives always carry about them as 
an enveloping atmosphere, the agent entered the 
room as Mr. Pampero stood up in the tub to receive 
him. Then carefully closing the door, he advanced 
toward Mr. Pampero, only to draw himself imme- 
diately back and to look at him with the most pro- 
voking deliberation. 

Well,” said Mr. Pampero from the tub, if 
you’ve learned anything, let me have it at once.” 

Instead of replying, the detective drew himself 
farther away, gave a wipe at the nap of his hat with 
the cuff of his coat, and then placed his hat behind 
his back and looked at Mr. Pampero again, — this 
time with an expression of the deepest sympathy. 

Mr. Pampero stamped his feet in the tub with 
irritation. Go on,” he said ; don’t keep me wait- 
ing, if you’ve learned anything new.” 


PARADISE. 


25 


Mr. Pampero,” exclaimed tlie detective senten- 
tiously, and speaking at last, yon must prepare 
yonrself — ” 

Mr. Pampero. ‘‘ Prepare myself for what 

Detective. ‘‘ For a great shock — ” 

Mr. Pampero.^ in sudden consternation and for- 
getting his domestic troubles. ‘‘ Nothing happened 
to Erie, has there ? Oh, pardon me, how my mind 
runs on — ” 

Detective. ‘‘No, sir, but your wife has — ^lias — ” 

Mr. Pampero. “ Of course she has eloped. I told 
them all that at the agency.” 

“ Mr. Pampero, your wife has a companion on 
her travels.” 

“ Has a companion on her travels !” roared Mr. 
Pampero from the tub. “ What kind of a coni- 
j)anion, sir ? Of what sex V ’ 

“A companion, sir, who ought by this time to 
know better — a companion, sir, as old — I should say, 
as well placed in society and in the esteem of the 
public, sir, as yourself.” 

. “ His name, sir — his name, sir — ” exclaimed Mr. 
Pampero, almost capsizing the tub and himself in 
his agitation. 

“ Mr. Charles Yarian Axel.” 

The effect on Mr. Pampero of this announcement 
can better be imagined than described. All the 
blood that the water had presumably drawn to his 
feet rushed back to his head and settled itself appar- 
ently at the end of his nose. His eyes looked blood- 
shot too, and there was an air of tragic grandeur 
about his misery that was but little diminished by 
his being in his night-shirt. 

“ Oh, oh, so it’s you, is it, you hoary-headed old 


2G 


PARADISE. 


scoundrel? Well, it’s lucky I know a little some- 
thing about you and your transactions, my friend,” 
and he rubbed his hands in a constrained sort of 
glee until the reflection crossed him that such secrets 
as he knew might be complicated with considerations 
of a character too personal to render their disclosure 
expedient. 

‘‘But I won’t believe it,” he ejaculated at last. 
“ I can’t believe it ! Why, he scarcely knows my 
wife.” 

“ Mr. Pampero,” observed the detective solemnly, 
“I’ve noticed that the less a man knows a lady the 
more apt he is to elope with her. I assure you 
there’s no doubt about it, however, for I’ve been 
down to the depot, and the baggage-master assured 
me that he had recognized a trunk with that name 
upon it. To make doubly sure, too, I called at the 
gentleman’s house and learned that he had suddenly 
left town on the slender pretext of a week’s Ash- 
ing.” 

Mr. Pampero dropped his head into his hands and 
let fly a vigorous reflection on friendship. “ What 
shall I do ?” he demanded, looking up with a care- 
worn expression. 

“ Telegraph for him to be stopped before he gets 
out of the State — and leave the rest to us.” 

Mr. Pampero hastily sent for a telegraph blank 
and penned the following : “ Stop at all hazards 
stout party, past middle age, sandy whiskers, prom- 
inent Poman nose ; answers to the name of Charles 
Yarian Axel” (speaking of the gentleman as if he 
were a spaniel); “probably in company with a 
beautiful woman.” 

“Now,” said the detective, “give it to me to 


PARADISE. 


27 


send, and with your permission I’ll add a danse to 
make it effective. I suppose you can back it up by 
following the fugitives in the morning 

^‘Wouldn’t the evening do? I’ve a very impor- 
tant meeting of directors to attend at eleven. Be- 
sides, I shouldn’t wonder but that my sister-in-law 
would like to accompany me, and I doubt if she 
could be ready so soon.” 

Miss Garland, indeed, presented herself shortly 
after the departure of the detective, and, contrary 
to Mr. Pampero’s expectations, favored the earlier 
start ; but concluding that the nature of his engage- 
ments would not admit of this, he finally persuaded 
her to wait till the following afternoon. Then Mr. 
Pampero retired, and the first night of his grass- 
widowerhood closed upon him sadly. 


CHAPTER V. 

It is morning, and the great red sun peeps into a 
gliding train, touching up with a reddened glory 
the passengers who. had left their sleeping-berths, 
and bringing out the tardy ones from the same re- 
ceptacles with the glad promise of a hurried break- 
fast. Mrs. Pampero, who had risen betimes, lay 
back in her cushioned chair, watching from the 
window the ever-changing scene, now a river, now a 
wood, passing hills and gliding over dales, past 
farm-yards with their thrifty look of plenty, but 
never escaping those evidences of commercial enter- 


2S 


PAUADISE. 


prise, the ubiquitous advertisements. Every bam 
seemed built less for cattle than to blazon painted 
invitations to try Chokum Bitters ; every stone 
that peeped above the dark green sward testified in 
large white letters that this particular stone was 
only a given number of miles from Corny’s cele- 
brated Shoe Emporium ; Nixon’s Ice-Cream invited 
her from the most uninviting places, and every fence 
was a running eulogium of patent drugs. 

I have not eloped often, — barely half a dozen 
times at most. Indeed, appreciating that delightful 
form of recreation at its true value, I do not believe 
in taking off the edge of its ecstasy by too frequent 
indulgence. But on the comparatively rare occa- 
sions on which I have eloped, I distinctly remember 
the disagreeable effect these advertisements had on 
me. There was something so mundane, so material 
about them. They were not at all in harmony with 
the exquisite music, so to speak, of one’ s sensations. 

Strange to say, they had the same effect on Mrs. 
Pampero. 

The exhilaration of the previous day was gone 
too ; the bottle had been open too long, and the wine 
was fiat. She even began to doubt whether she had 
acted wisely ; whether her coming might not cause 
the husband for whom she made the sacrifice more 
pain than satisfaction. 

It will only be at first, however,” she reasoned ; 

heTl get over it soon.” Then she fell to picturing 
the kind of woman he would eventually marry when 
he should be free to take the rash step again. In 
short, a sentimental sadness was creeping over Mrs. 
Pampero, proving that the reaction had come. 

But, you see, Mrs. Pampero was eloping, or 


PARADISE. 


29 


thought she was eloping, alone. There was no one 
(or she thought there was no one) to help sustain 
her spirits, consequently the Popgun Pills and the 
Chokum Bitters were especially bitter to her, and 
she felt further irritable because the train was behind 
time for breakfast. 

Quite a different category of sensations was upper- 
most in Mr. Axel’s breast. So far from any reaction 
having set in, his exhilaration was rather on the in- 
crease. He was like a new man. Hope was before 
him, regret behind — regret for his broken efforts 
and his failures. He was actually going West ; he 
was following the march of empire and the apos- 
tolic advice given gratis to young men. He was to 
have one more chance to practise consistency, to 
light against his besetting weakness. His spirits 
rose with the reflection. 

He could even afford to laugh at the misery and 
mental disquietude that his terrible defect of char- 
acter had caused him. He could afford to laugh at 
the abortive tragedies, the tragic comedies, the 
melancholy novels that would end humorously, and 
even at the lawsuit that came near making him, 
with all his wealth, a convict’s son. Yes, his spirits 
rose, and he tossed the bright water over him, and 
tossed it and tossed it again. 

For Mr. Axel, in the privacy of his sleeping com- 
partment, was taking a bath. Mr. Axel, with all his 
inconsistencies, was ever faithful to cold water. In- 
deed, the only boast he was ever known to make 
was that he could bathe in a saucer. Certainly, 
wherever there was room for the bottom of his tiny 
india-rubber travelling tub to stand, no circumstance 
or condition of travel was suflicient to deter him 


30 


PARADISE. 


from the use of it. On the occasion of a trip over 
night through the AVhite Mountains in a stage- 
coach, his friends even relate of his politely request- 
ing the passengers to remove to the outside of the 
vehicle to permit the practice of his hobby. 

Be this as it may, Mr. Axel secured a pail of 
water, and, assisted by the negro porter, succeeded 
in obtaining a fairly comfortable bath ; and when 
the train stopped he emerged from his roomy com- 
partment as spick and span as from a bandbox. In- 
deed, in his complete change of outfit, with a 
smoothly shaven chin and highly polished boots, he 
offered a striking contrast to the somewhat hastily 
attired gentlemen who, in boots and dusters, tossed 
out of berths with headlong precipitancy on the 
cheerful tocsin of the station breakfast-bell. 

Most men would have claimed vdth effusive haste 
the acquaintance of — let us call her — the grass- 
widow. ISTot so Mr. Axel. He had too much at 
stake. He must proceed cautiously ; consequently, 
he pretended not to see her, and, therefore, not to 
notice the flushed surprise with which she first be- 
came aware of his presence. Yery calmly he entered 
the lunch-room, and, ordering a cup of coffee, stood 
sipping it meditatively, losing himself the while in 
abstruse calculations as to the number of pies con- 
sumed by the hungry travellers. 

What tender recollections these little round 
patches of dough summon up — what hallowed 
thoughts of home !” Mr. Axel observed this to the 
pretty young lady behind the counter. 

He tried it tentatively, figuratively ; brushing up 
a little sentiment with a view to Mrs. Pampero later 
on, perhaps. 


PARADISE. 


31 


Ten cents each,’’ observed the yonng lady, 
ftguratwely herself ; and having a keen eye to busi- 
ness, she rolled him up two forthwith in a paper 
bag. Then Mr. Axel sauntered out, pie-driven (for 
he really loathed pies) from the counter to the plat- 
form, where he lighted a cigarette and began to pace 
up and down, keeping one eye on the little airy, 
fairy-like rings as they played in the soft morning 
atmosphere, — and the other eye, we are bound to 
confess, on Mrs. Pampero, who was still lingering 
* in the breakfast-room. 

Mrs. Pampero, as we have intimated, recognized 
Mr. Axel with a start of surprise. She was filled 
with a keen sense of injury at his presumption in 
following her ; she even framed a rebuff with which 
she would reply to his addresses. How provoking 
it was, therefore, that he failed to see her, and that 
she was thus unable to display her deep resentment ! 
It was still more provoking that he could be so 
calmly enjoying his cigarette. Everything ends in 
smoke, thought Mrs. Pampero, figuratively herself 
this time ; there is nothing real in life. And yet, 
deny it as she would, his presence filled her with a 
pleasing sense of reality, — with a delightful feeling 
of security too. At the same time, when she came 
to think of it, she felt an equally delightful sense 
of insecurity. To these contradictory sensations 
perhaps some woman will kindly find the key, since 
it is quite beyond my powers. 

But perhaps he might not be in pursuit of her at 
all ! He might be going to Paradise for domestic 
reasons. Perhaps he was married and his wife was 
faithless to him. Poor fellow ! there really did seem 
a resigned expression of sadness about his eyes, a 


Z2 


TARADISE. 


languor in his very walk. Alas ! he might be going 
to Paradise for reasons of his own, — reasons in no 
manner connected with herself. The suggestion 
was a dreary one, for Mrs. Pampero was a woman 
of tender heart and of warm sympathies. 

To return to her car from the buffet required her 
to pass Mr. Axel’ s line of march. Would he see her 
then, and would he at least explain his presence ? 
Mrs. Pampero passed his line of march, and Mr. 
Axel, seeing her this time, raised his hat with per- 
fect politeness, yet coldly. Could she have offended 
him, she wondered ? He was some distance off, but 
by hastening a little — oh, so little — ^he could at least 
have assisted her to the platform. As she entered 
the car Mrs. Pampero even charged him with rude- 
ness, and then relapsing into her novel, determined 
to think of him no more. 

But what a stupid novel hers was ! All the peo- 
ple in it were always acting in so provokingly in- 
sipid a manner. In spite of her heroic efforts she 
could not read it ; and she was about throwing the 
book aside in despair when Mr. Axel entered and 
dropped into the next seat with as easy a noncha- 
lance as if he had known her for years. 

Every one writes novels nowadays,” he said, 
taking up the book drearily. ‘‘I’ve written them 
myself.” 

“You !” she exclaimed, surprised out of the re- 
buff with which she had prepared herself to receive 
him. 

“ Yes, but there was one defect in all of them,” 
he went on, as if forgetting himself. 

“ What was that demanded Mrs. Pampero. 

“ Why, simply — but I don’t know as I ought to 


PARADISE. 


33 


tell you,” he said, artfully making a mystery out 
of it. Indeed, I am convinced I ought not to tell 
you.” 

Were they — were they — im-immoral ?” 

Ho, oh no, they were not immoral. I said the 
book had a defect.” 

‘‘ Were they stupid V’ she asked, innocently. 

Mr. Axel laughed. It is not my habit to boast, 
but competent authorities to whom I showed them 
assured me they were far from stupid.” 

‘‘ Were they long ?” 

I think the last question is sufficiently met by 
my last answer,” and Mr. Axel spoke with a slight 
flavor of superciliousness, if not of hauteur. 

Mrs. Pampero felt morally put down. The singu- 
lar thing is that she rather delighted in the unusual 
sensation. 

‘‘Yes,” said Mr. Axel, sadly, and really looking 
back over his past life, ‘ ‘ my novels were neither too 
long nor too short — were just sufficiently immoral 
to titillate, were neither stupid nor ill- written ; but 
their fault was the very gravest, the most serious a 
book could have.” 

Mrs. Pampero’s interest was keenly excited. To 
have attributed authorship to this dudish young 
man was the very last thing she would have thought 
of. Eminent legal attainments might very well 
comport with his smartness of dress and his immacu- 
late linen, but authorship — never. To have him 
calmly declare that his books possessed all merits, 
but were lacking at the same time in the very most 
important quality^ a book could lack, and, further, 
to have him withhold from her what this defect 
was, made the situation tantalizing in the extreme. 


34 


PARADISE. 


He spoke, too, with an earnestness that left in her 
little doubt of his sincerity. 

“ I am thinking of beginning a new one,” he re- 
sumed a moment later. '‘If it does not succeed it 
will be my last attempt.” 

" Oh, I hope it will succeed,” she exclaimed, 
warmly. " What is your heroine to be like ? Is 
she tain” 

Mr. Axel looked up critically into Mrs. Pampero’s 
face. "No, not precisely tall,” he said. 

" Is she short and stumpy, then ?” 

"No, not stumpy exactly,” he continued with 
the same puzzling, half quizzical, half critical air. 

" Is she beautiful ?” 

" AVell, she’d pass muster on that score.” 

" She is young, of course — ” 

" Well, she’s young enough for all intents and 
purposes.” 

" Why, what an extraordinary heroine she must 
be ! I’m sure I shall hate her,” thought Mrs. 
Pampero. 

Mr. Axel guessed something of her thoughts. 

" I think it quite likely you would dislike her in 
a general way,” he said ; "but, on the other hand, 
and under certain circumstances, I feel convinced 
you would fall down and worship her.” 

Mrs. Pampero had hesitated in putting her last 
question because she realized at last that the con- 
versation, being Avith a comparative stranger, had 
about gone far enough. His divination of her 
secret thoughts, his taking the Avords from her 
very lips, however, caused her to forget her cau- 
tion. 

A new impulse Avas given to her curiosity. Her 


PARADISE. 


35 


desire to find out wliat kind of a man he really was 
became intensified. 

‘‘What is the hero to be, then?” she asked. 

“ Have yon drawn him from life ?” 

“Yes,” he exclaimed, “Ikave drawn him from 
myself ; he’s to be just like me.” 

“ Then you’d better call it the Enigma,” said • 
Mrs. Pampero, pettishly, “and if the public are 
fond of Chinese puzzles your book will take.” 

“ I have a far better title,” Mr. Axel replied. 

“ What is that ?” she asked with new hope. 

“ My Secret,” he returned. 

Then he pulled the blind down for her so the sun 
should not shine in her eyes, moved her seat a little 
farther back from the window, and, young as he 
was, acted generally with a fatherly air of protection 
that can be best explained by the praiseworthy in- 
tention of taking good care of his heroine now that 
he had secured one. 

As for Mrs. Pampero, little suspecting the purpose 
of his solicitude, she accepted it mutely, leaning 
back in her chair and looking up at her companion 
from under her long lashes ; looking at him and 
wondering. He was so different from any other 
man she had ever known, and there was a curious 
contrast between his appearance and his aspirations, 

— between his foppish attire and an almost saddened 
earnestness. Most men would have alluded to the 
circumstances of the previous day, — to the singular 
fact of their meeting. But his very manner had 
changed ; she could scarcely realize him to be the 
same person. At last, impelled by a curiosity she 
could no longer restrain, impelled by the very riski- 
ness of the question, she plumped it at him squarely. 


36 


PARADISE. 


“ JSTow tell me,” she said, ‘‘ why are you going to 
Paradise 

How do you know I am going there ?” he 
answered. 

The reply covered Mrs. Pampero with confusion. 
Why should she suppose he was going to Paradise, 
after all ; might not his being on the train be only 
a coincidence, might he not be intending to get oif 
at an intermediate station, or a more distant one ? 
Her question seemed to convey the inference that 
he was following her, and it was this inference that 
caused her, after she had uttered her question, con- 
fusion worse confounded. 

But I am going to Paradise,” he said at last ; 
‘‘ for though I am an author, I must not neglect my 
professional duties.” 

A lively joy, battle with it as she would, rose like 
a bubble in her heart. She felt frivolous, and 
looking out of the window, made a frivolous re- 
mark. 

What a pity,” she said, ‘Hhat we have no 
ruins ! I hate a landscape without them ; don’t 
you ?” 

I had thoughts once of starting a society to sup- 
ply that deficiency in our scenery,” he replied, 
gravely, “ but then I thought, after all, it was use- 
less, for we have so many.” 

So many ruins 1” 

‘‘Yes,” he said, “ but ruins more suited to the 
requirements of a commercial people. Our financial 
ruins meet us at every turn. They are quite as pic- 
turesque, if you only look at them in the proper 
spirit, and they carry a warning that no other ruins 
ever can.” 


PARADISE, 


37 


I don’t believe yon believe in anything,” said 
Mrs. Pampero, lightly. 

I believe in too much,” he answered. 

Do you believe in any kind of affection — any 
strong, ever-enduring attachment, for instance ?” 

I believe in one kind,” he replied, sententiously, 
‘‘ one kind that is ever-enduring, and into which no 
rival enters ; a love that increases in intensity with 
age, and only expires with the last breath of life.” 

Good Heavens ! what kind of love is that ?” 
asked Mrs. Pampero, startled out of her flippant 
mood. 

“Self-love,” said Mr. Axel; then he laughed 
softly and looked up at Mrs. Pampero. 

Altogether she had not succeeded in probing this 
young man very deeply. He puzzled her as he had 
puzzled wiser women. “ Is there anything else you 
believe in ?” 

“ Oh, yes, I rather believe in polish.” 

“ In polish !” 

“ I mean in the polish of one’s boots ; it’s so 
much better to shine with the feet than the head ; 
the latter excites envy, the former only admira- 
tion ; the one requires personal trouble, the other 
only that of one’s valet. A highly-developed in- 
tellect often gets the head that holds it into a 
noose ; a pair of highly-polished boots keeps your 
feet out of the mud. On the whole, I believe in 
polish.” Then Mr. Axel bowed, and possessing 
that highest of all arts — ^namely, the art of knowing 
exactly when to retire, he left her and sauntered 
back to his own car. 


38 


PARADISE. 


CHAPTER VI. 

Mr. Pampero, accompanied by Miss Rebecca 
Garland, is following just twenty-four hours after- 
ward in the runaway’ s wake. Miss Rebecca, though 
younger than her sister, did not share in her sensi- 
tive nature ; and while she did ample justice to Mr. 
Pampero’s good and sterling qualities, she by no 
means considered him in the light of a paragon. 
She called him Gobbie” for short, — not by any 
means in a vulgar way, but in a bright, airy fashion 
that made so unpoetic a pseudonym as Gobbie” 
sound sparkling and attractive. 

Miss Rebecca was not an old maid, in spite of the 
popular belief that every woman of her name must 
be. 

Oh, Gobbie,” she said, when they were well 
under way, “you were a great goose to send for a 
detective.” 

“Why sof’ exclaimed Gobbie, with a shade of 
annoyance — I say with a shade of annoyance, be- 
cause, in fact, he had secretly congratulated himself 
on his promptness and decision of character in ap- 
plying to the agency as he had. 

“ Gobbie, you w^ere a great goose, that’s all.” 

“ Rebecca,” answered Gobbie, stiffly, “ this is the 
fifteenth time you’ve alluded to the subject in one 
shape or another. You will do me a great favor, a 
very particular favor, not to mention it again.” 
Mr. Pampero, whenever he wished to present an 
argument of overwhelming persuasion, invariably 
made use of the phrase, “You will do me a great 
favor,” etc. ; as if the highest recompense the am- 


PARADISE. 


39 


bition of man could aspire to was to confer a favor 
on Mr. Pampero. 

Becky laughed airily. But it was a mistake,” 
she said ; ‘‘it was a huge mistake, mark my words.” 

“ There you go again ! You will do me another 
great favor not to say ‘mark my words.’ It’s a 
form of expression I particularly object to. Indeed, 
I should think, Becky, you would be sufficiently 
impressed with the seriousness of the situation and 
the unhappy strait I am placed in not to be pur- 
posely annoying me.” 

“ Gobbie,” said Miss Bebecca, on whom this last 
appeal had been completely lost, “there’s a hor- 
rid man over there who’s been looking at me in the 
most offensive manner possible. He is evidently 
talking to his neighbor about us, and there he is 
looking at us again.” 

“ I don’t see him,” said Gobbie, innocently, cast- 
ing his eyes everywhere but in the right direction. 

“ I don’t suppose you do,” said Becky, “ if you 
will persist in confining your attention to the hat- 
racks. But I really think you ought to get up and 
ask him w^hat he means.” 

Mr. Pampero moved uneasily in his seat. Above 
everything, he disliked an altercation. “ I guess 
he’s not thinking of us, anyhow,” replied Mr. Pam- 
pero. 

“ I tell you he is.” 

“ Well, s’ pose he is,” said Gobbie, in a conciliatory 
manner ; and then calling flattery to his assistance, 
“ There’s nothing criminal, is there, in a man’s look- 
ing at a pretty girl 

“ But he’s looking at said Becky, not to be 

so easily put off, “ and he’s talking about you, too, 


40 


PARADISE. 


I’m sure. See, there he’s looking at ns again, and 
now they’re both langhing.” 

Perhaps we’d better move our seats,” said Mr. 
Pampero, tentatively ; “ you see, I always avoid 
any altercation in travelling,” — and he spoke as if 
on other occasions he was the most belligerent of 
men. “We’ll have to move anyhow,” he added a 
moment afterward, “ for here comes the porter to 
make up the beds.” 

The sections retained by our two travellers were 
directly opposite each other, and only separated by 
the passageway. 

How much skill and practice it takes to enter one 
of these curtained sepulchres successfully ! Becky, 
when the time came for retiring, accomplished the 
feat with the sparkling grace with which she did 
everything — a twist — a pivot-turn — a light laugh — a 
pair of little boots with a fringe of white mystery 
disappearing within the curtains. Then a rustle as 
of the shaking off of garments, the snap of unhook- 
ing — a suppressed sigh of relief — and a moment 
afterward the same little pair of moroccos, footless, 
empty, but ever shapely, were deposited by a dainty 
hand upon the passageway floor. 

With Mr. Pampero the operation was attended 
with greater difficulties. Paragons are seldom light 
and graceful in their persons, lofty as their moral 
attributes may be. First, Mr. Pampero tugged at 
one boot ; then he tugged at the other ; then Mr. 
Pampero said Dam ! Next Mr. Pampero tried 
pulling at one heel with the toe of his other boot, 
but the train, inconsiderately going around a curve 
at this moment, induced Mr. Pampero to do what 
gentlemen of his years and figure are generally 


PARADISE. 


41 


obliged to do at last, — namely, to summon the negro 
porter to his assistance, and have his feet well-nigh 
pulled out of their sockets along with his boots. 
The remainder of Mr. Pampero’s disrobing we need 
not dwell on. Suffice it to say that after a due 
amount of buffeting and thumping in unison with 
the lurching of the car, with repeated uninvited in- 
trusions on the part of his head and shoulders into 
berths that did not belong to him, as he struggled 
from his coat and waistcoat, his efforts were re- 
warded, and a moment afterward he was seen van- 
ishing head first between the curtains with a pon- 
derous formality and a dignity of deportment no 
little infiuenced by his desire to show how easy the 
task really was. 

Mr. Pampero had been asleep some ten minutes 
only, as it seemed to him, — in reality it had been 
nearly three hours, — when he was disturbed by a 
sharp tickling sensation on his left side. 

Eh, who’s there ? what is it ? car off the track ? 
Hello ! AVhat’s the matter ?” Then a sharper sen- 
sation following, he assumed a sitting position, and 
pushing his head through the curtains, encountered 
the fair face of his sister-in-law midway in the pas- 
sage. 

‘‘ Hush ! hush ! I think you had better get up 
and dress right away,” whispered Miss Rebecca. 

“ AVhy in the name of creation should I get up 
and dress right away?” demanded Mr. Pampero, 
sharply. 

Because I have a presentiment something awful’ s 
going to happen.” 

I shall do nothing of the sort,” said Mr. Gobbie, 
decidedly ; “ and I wish, Rebecca, the next time you 


42 


PARADISE. 


have a presentiment of something awful yon 
wouldn’t give point to it with the sharp end of your 
umbrella. It’s extremely disagreeable, I assure 
you. Now go to sleep, Becky, like a good girl. 
You will do me a particular, a very X3articular 
favor, if you will go to sleep and not disturb me till 
morning.” 

But I can’t go to sleep ; indeed I can’t.” 

Well, is that any reason you should prevent me, 
who can V ’ And Mr. Pampero spoke with a logic 
and a sense of justice that would seem unanswerable. 

Very well, then, you can go to sleep ; but re- 
member something awful is going to happen, and 
you refused to take warning.” 

“ 0 Lord !” said Gobbie, who was really of a 
superstitious and impressionable nature, and of all 
things hated these oracular premonitions of his 
sister-in-law, ‘‘what kind of a thing is it that is 
going to happen ? Of what character is it ?” 

“ I don’t know exactly what it is, but I’m con- 
vinced there’s some sort of a conspiracy on the train 
against us. You remember those men whom you 
allowed so grossly to insult me. Well, a little while 
ago the conductor came down and showed them a 
telegram or some sort of paper. Then he came over 
toward us, and I am nearly sure he looked into your 
berth ; after that he went back and said, “ I guess 
we’d better wait till morning.” 

Mr. Pampero turned uneasily in his couch. 
“ There’s some consolation, at all events,” he said, 
with forced humor, “ that whatever it is, it’s going 
to be postponed till morning.” 

“But that’s not all he said,” continued Miss 
Becky, encouraged at the evidences of uneasiness 


PARADISE. 


43 


with which she had inspired her brother-in-law. 
That’s not all.” 

Well, what else did they say ?” 

‘‘ One of them said,” replied Miss Becky, with 
blood-curdling distinctness, “ ‘ If it’s them they’ll 
never get to Paradise, I’ll bet.’ ” 

Oh,” said Mr. Pampero, much relieved, “ we’re 
not going to Paradise in the sense they mean. There 
are at least twenty other couples on board going 
there. They must allude to some of them. By the 
way, though, Becky, if you’d like to go to Paradise 
in the orthodox style, yon can just wake me up 
again with that umbrella of yours.” Then, consoled 
,with the reflection of having made a witty sally, and 
promised by the indignant silence of his sister-in- 
law a just allowance of repose, Mr. Pampero buried 
his head in the pillows, instinctively pulled the 
bolster over against his exposed side as a sort of 
buffer, and the silence was again only broken by 
the whirring of the wheels. 

****** 

The same old luminary that shone the previous 
morning on the runaway wife rose next day im- 
partially to illumine the broad face of her spouse, 
throwing an extra sparkle into the laughing eyes of 
his sister-in-law, winking good-naturedly at such 
lesser luminaries as the ‘‘ Rising Sun Stove Polish,” 
and merging into one vast fleld of gold the glittering 
letters of the advertisements that met his eye at 
every turn. As he mounted higher much the same 
looking sort of passengers tossed in much the same 
hastily-attired fashion from much the same kind of 
disordered beds. As he arrived at the right point 
in the heavens the same • identical station was 


44 


PARADISE. 


stopped at for breakfast, and contemporaneously 
with his advent here the same old confectionery, I 
am forced to confess, was brought out as it had been 
for countless preceding mornings. 

Indeed, much the same scene was witnessed till a 
minute or two before the departure of the train. 
But as for what ensued, — ^how can I do justice to it ! 
How can I enforce the moral of this moral tale, 
and prove that the x)reponderance of reward falls 
always to those who deserve reward the most ! 

Had Mr. Pampero’s attention been less occupied 
with the details of an elaborate breakfast he might 
have noticed certain vague indications of what was 
to come. At least he might have detected that the 
gentlemen who had called forth Miss Becky’s dis- 
pleasure the preceding evening pointed him out to a 
coatless stranger standing on the platform, and 
that, having done so, they exploded in fits of un- 
wonted merriment ; further than this, that they 
kept watching him during all the time he was at the 
counter ; and to sum up, that they were acting in a 
manner that indicated some nefarious conspiracy, — 
or might it have been some huge practical joke at 
the unhappy Mr. Pampero’ s expense ? 

That gentleman averred afterward that it was be- 
cause his coffee was too hot. At all events, what- 
ever the reason, he was a little slow in leaving the 
lunch-counter ; in fact, the train was just beginning 
to move. Calculating the distance with the eye of 
an expert, he concluded it better to take the rear 
platform of the last car than to make an uncomfort- 
able plunge and scramble for the platform of his 
own car. 

The calculation was made to a nicety. Miss 


PARADISE. 


45 


Eebecca was ahead of him, and they arrived at the 
desired goal in sufficient time for him gallantly to 
assist her on board. Then, just as he was about 
making one of those airy bounds to follow her that 
gentlemen of his weight so pride themselves on 
making, the impetus was broken by the fall of a 
heavy hand on his shoulder from behind. 

Let me go,” he cried, making a frantic effort to 
spring once more. ‘‘ Let me go or I’ll be left and 
he was left, for the train, gradually increasing its 
speed, eluded his grasp, changing as he gazed after 
it from a near to a distant and rapidly contracting 
perspective ; and the words of his sister-in-law. 
Oh, Gobble, it’s those detectives ; but you would 
not mark my words !” grow fainter and fainter on 
the saddened morning air. 


CHAPTER VII. 

On the banks of the Almondew River, between 
Great and Little Enfer Falls, stands the town of 
Paradise. Bounded on the one side by the prairies, 
the prairies bound it on the other, and, indeed, but 
for the river, which is frozen hard all winter and 
runs dry all summer, the prairies might be said to 
bound it on every side. In brief, Paradise is the 
capital of the celebrated State of Divorce, which is 
one of those States that will never go out of our 
Union, even though every other State should secede. 

Long ago, before Paradise was, but at the exact 


46 


PARADISE. 


point where Paradise is, in the days when the red 
men scalped and the prairie wolves gambolled, a 
long line of mule- wagons endeavored to cross this 
river. The first team, driven by a French Canadian, 
becoming balky, upset the first wagon ; the next, 
coming on close behind, followed suit. I hesitate 
to chronicle it, but to the storm of expletives that 
the accident called forth are due the names of the 
river and of the rapids, beside the original designa- 
tion of the city that subsequently sprang up here. 

I say the original name, since for some time the 
place was known as Diable. But with the growth 
of the city and the consequently increasing culture 
of the inhabitants, it was evident that this name 
must be altered or at least improved on. 

Diable-opolis” was first essayed ; this being held 
by every one, however, to be too diabolical, it was 
shortened to ‘‘ Dialopolis.” Finally an ‘‘ n” was 
inserted for euphony’s sake, and the classical sound- 
ing designation of Diana-polis” was the happy 
result. 

From that deeply ingrained perversity of human 
nature, however, which seems to run counter to 
praiseworthy effort, the mass of people kept con- 
tinually reverting to the original name, and the use 
of this was never completely abolished until the 
committee of the City Council, who had the matter 
in charge, exorcised the devil entirely, and rushing 
to the opposite i)ole, rechristened the town Para- 
dise.” 

Strange as it may seem, however, but possibly for 
something like the same cause that made the in- 
habitants of the German gambling towns the least 
frequent patrons of “the game,” the people of 


PARADISE. 


47 


Paradise itself are the least divorced people in the 
world. They marry and they give in marriage, but 
as a rule they remain married and leave to strangers 
the consolations of divorce. 

Thither flock, from all quarters of the world, the 
maritally afflicted. It is the Mecca, the land of 
promise, the Paradise for those who seek to break 
their promises. 

It was at this toAvn that Mrs. Pampero and Mr. 
Axel arrived one bright forenoon, and heard for the 
first time, as they glided into its spacious station, 
the well-known cry of Paradise ! Paradise ! 
Twenty-five minutes for Divorce !” 

Mrs. Pampero, assisted by Mr. Axel, sprang 
lightly to the ground. She felt gay and cheerful, 
as a lady should who has made so great a sacrifice 
for her husband’s sake ; or, as she explained it in 
the analysis that she was continually making of her 
own sensations, ‘‘ it was the bright joy that sprang 
spontaneously upward as the reward of her past 
resignation.” 

From the fact that to the pure all things are pure, 
from the fact that the “ Grand Disunion” was the 
largest and, perforce, the best hotel in the town, and 
from the fact that, having come so far together there 
was no particular reason why they should break off 
the association now, they took the omnibus of that 
hotel, and finally arrived at the immense hostelrj' 
together. Indeed, Mrs. Pampero had come to look 
upon Mr. Axel in the light of a semi-attached legal 
adviser, and even felt grateful to him for explaining, 
during the journey, the procedures that lay before 
her. In consequence of this, when the great brazen 
gong sounded its summons for dinner they found 


48 


PARADISE. 


themselves quite naturally entering the dining-room 
at the same moment, and as naturally were assigned 
adjoining seats. 

‘‘ Why, how full the house is,” was Mrs. Pam- 
pero’s first remark, as the bill of fare was handed 
her. 

Mr. Axel smiled. 

“ Do you suppose all these people are here for — 
for legal relief ?” she asked. 

‘‘It’s hard to tell,” replied Mr. Axel, dubiously. 
“ I suppose some are.” Then, as he allowed his eye 
to roam down the vast tables, he was surprised to 
notice many familiar faces. “ Why, there’s Mrs. 
Ferrible,” he exclaimed. “ She had a severe cold 
some three weeks ago, so perhaps she’s here for her 
health.” 

“ Is that Mrs. Ferrible — Mrs. John Q. asked 
Mrs. Pampero, in some surprise. 

“None other,” replied Mr. Axel; “and there’s 
Mrs. Percival T. Jevames.” 

“ What !” exclaimed Mrs. Pampero, “ Mrs. Per- 
cival T. Jevames.” 

“ And there’s Captain Hilton Tilton,” continued 
Mr. Axel, “the great coaching authority, as large 
as life.” 

The presence of these fashionable people, with 
whom Mrs. Pampero was principally familiar 
through the columns of the society papers, filled 
her from the first with an agreeable sense of being 
in the full swim of fashion. 

“ And who is that gentleman two tables off, with 
the fixed scowl on his face?” she asked, gayly. 
“ He looks very dismal, doesn’t he ?” 

“I don’t know him,” replied Mr. Axel, “ but I 


PARADISE. 


49 


shonld think, judging by his appearance, that his 
wife ought to be at Paradise and he at home.” 

‘‘ Why so asked Mrs. Pampero. 

Mr. Axel felt he had committed himself. 

Why did you make that remark, sir 

Well, I don’t know except that those that come 
to Paradise generally look cheerful.” 

‘^Do I look cheerful?” asked Mrs. Pampero, 
pointedly. 

Your case is an exceptional one. I meant in a 
general way, that regret remained with those that 
stayed behind.” 

Mrs. Pampero was struck by a terrible reflec- 
tion. ‘‘Oh, Mr. Axel,” she said, “do you think 
my husband looks like that ? Tell me,” she went 
on, impulsively — “ tell me — ” But her remark was 
changed into an exclamation of bewildered astonish- 
ment at the grace and beauty of a lady sweeping at 
that very moment into the room ; and consequently 
the “ tell me !” was made to cover the question, 
“ Who is that ?” Mr. Axel looked up as the lady 
in question sat down, half a table length off. “ Who 
is it ?” whispered Mrs. Pampero ; and as the lady let 
her eyes wander toward them, Mr. Axel, instead of 
replying, half rose and bowed. 

There are many kinds of bows. For instance, the 
bow to the man you owe money to and are unable 
to pay ; the bow of the man who owes you money and 
won’t pay ; the bow to the husband of the lady you 
have conducted to Paradise, and whom you suddenly 
encounter at some unexpected turn ; the bow of the 
clergyman in a mortgaged church at the name of 
Him who cast the money-changers out ; and lastly, 
the bow you give to the lady whom you were once 


50 


PARADISE. 


engaged to, but who has thrown you over for an- 
other man. 

The bow Mr. Axel gave was of the latter descrip- 
tion, modified by the knowledge that she had 
just thrown over her husband, whom she had left in 
turn. Mr. Axel bowed to her, and being, in spite 
of his authorhood, a thorough man of the world, 
dropped behind Mrs. Pampero at the close of dinner 
to make a few commonplace remarks to his older 
acquaintance. 


CHAPTER yilL 

Though Mr. Axel was not aware of it, since he 
had only just arrived, there was one subject that 
was always avoided at Paradise in the sweet social 
intercourse that reigned — namely, marriage. Mar- 
riage was a tabooed topic. It was bad form to men- 
tion it, and of course, it is needless to say, it was 
bad form to discuss the causes that variously infiu- 
enced the pilgrims to visit this shrine. I don’t mean 
to say that it was because he was unaware of this 
that Mr. Axel had lingered behind to discuss with 
Mrs. Trevellyn the value of marriage, or even the 
causes of her coming hither. On the contrary, he 
confined himself strictly to a few commonplace re- 
marks ; and I only mention the fact of this general 
reticence as an indication of the good taste and 
delicacy of the guests. There was one exception to 
the observance of this wise discretion — ^namely, the 
dismal-looking man we noticed at dinner. He soon 
got to know every new arrival, and into his sym- 


PARADISE. 


51 


pathetic ears would pour his tale of misery. He 
was voted an infernal bore by the men of the house, 
an unmitigated nuisance by the ladies, and was, 
besides, a huge misfortune to himself. Among the 
first he had spotted our new arrivals, had kept his 
eye upon them at dinner, and was actually lying in 
wait for Mr. Axel when he came out after his brief 
conversation with Mrs. Trevellyn. Hearing him 
order a cup of coffee and a cigar, he waited till he 
was comfortably ensconced in the coffee-room, and 
then he approached with his dire purpose. To open 
the conversation pleasantly and naturally, and to 
place himself on an easy footing, so to speak, at the 
shortest notice, the dismal man drew up a chair and 
allowed his foot to tread as if by accident on Mr. 
Axel’s highly polished toes ; not roughly or harshly, 
but just sufficient to warrant an apology. 

‘‘ Beg pardon, sir,” said the dismal man, civilly. 

‘‘It’s of no consequence,” replied the unsuspect- 
ing Mr. Axel, though he resented, above all things, 
having the polish of his boots defaced. 

“Let me brush it off,” said the dismal man, 
politely, drawing his handkerchief. “ Been long 
here ?” he continued. 

“I’ve just arrived,” was the answer. 

“ Thought so ; your face was not familiar to me.” 

Mr. Axel bowed, as if to show his deep apprecia- 
tion of this misfortune. 

“ One gets to know ’em all by sight.” 

“ Gets to know whom by sight ?” asked Mr. Axel. 

“ Why, the people who come here on the splitting 
business.” 

“ On the splitting business ?” from Mr. Axel, in 
surprise. 


b2 


PARADISE. 


Yes, I call it the splitting business, because it 
splits up things so — the heart-splitting business. 
I’m here myself on that business.” 

I sincerely hope you’ll succeed,” exclaimed Mr. 
Axel, for the want of a more fitting reply, and think- 
ing what a badly -bred man this was. 

‘‘ Such a beaut— oh, such a beaut — ” 

‘‘ Such a what ?” 

‘‘ Such a beauty, — I’m speaking of my wife, sir.” 

‘‘I’ve no doubt of it.” 

“ But she deceived me, sir, she deceived me. 
Lunches at Delmonico’s when I was down-town toil- 
ing in the stock-market — going to the races, sir, in 
a three-quarter wagon. I stood it, sir, till convic- 
tion was brought home to me, sir. But I got my 
revenge, I got my revenge,” and the dismal man 
rubbed his hands together with a grim delight. 

“ Bid you shoot him ?” asked the soft-hearted 
Mr. Axel, as a cold shiver made its way in spite of 
him down his spinal column ; “of course not — 
shooting is bad form now.” 

“ Oh, no, sir, I didn’t shoot him. I took a deeper, 
a more lasting, and a sweeter revenge than that.” 

“ What did you do ?” from Mr. Axel. 

“ I gave him a point in stocks,” and the dismal 
man laughed again with the ecstasy of a complete 
and perfectly rounded vengeance. “ I led him on, 
let him make a few thousands — then when I had his 
confidence I told him to go it heavily, and he floun- 
dered in to the tune of a quarter million. By the 
way, though,” he continued, “ if you need legal ad- 
vice, let me recommend my lawyer, Mr. Partem. 
He does the thing up in better style than any one 
else, and with a quickness quite remarkable. But 


PARADISE. 


53 


here’s your lady friend, — what did you say her 
name was 

I didn’t say,” replied Mr. Axel, stiffly, as he 
rose to rejoin Mrs. Pampero. 

“ Oh, it’s of no consequence,” said the dismal 
man. I suppose she has registered, hasn’t she, so 
I can find her name at the office ?” 

It was Mrs. Pampero’s, intention to lose no time 
in beginning her divorce proceedings, and she had 
really left Mr. Axel less for the purpose of allowing 
him to indulge in a cigar than to procure her own 
cloak and bonnet. On rejoining him, therefore, she 
proceeded to question him closely as to which of the 
numerous lawyers he would especially recommend 
her to employ ; and provokingly the name of Mr. 
Partem was the only one that suggested itself to his 
mind. 

Mr. Partem was a hatchet-faced gentleman, who 
had a habit of placing his left hand under the tails 
of his coat and his right hand on his breast, his in- 
dex finger pointing outward like a gimlet when he 
wished especially to enforce his advice. Mr. Partem 
was at his office, and after expounding the laws of 
Paradise as to the time of residence, after showing 
further how this time might be sensibly curtailed, 
and after explaining the necessary formalities to be 
entered into for beginning the suit, Mr. Partem 
asked a pointed question. Now, madam,” he 
said, “in filing a bill for divorce it is, of course, 
necessary to give a series of causes. What shall 
they begin with ? Desertion, with refusal to sup- 
port, in my opinion, is the best.” 

“ But my husband hasn’t deserted me, nor has he 
refused to support me. Indeed, sir, my husband is 


54 


PARADISE. 


a very prince among men. The case is one, sir — is 
one, sir, of a man who has done too mnch for his 
wife.” 

‘‘ I see, — who desires to heap moral coals of fire 
on her head. Nevertheless, madam, we must bring 
in some charges against him, if only for effect. 
Does he drink? Dipsomania goes very far nowa- 
days, madam.” 

‘‘No, sir, he does not drink.” 

“ But we may as well put it in, and allow him to 
disprove it. It will be hard for him to prove he has 
never taken a glass of wine, and on one glass, one 
single glass, I can prove the whole case,” and Mr. 
Partem threw his head back and stuck his thumbs 
in his waistcoat armholes, as if challenging any 
other lawyer to do the like. 

“ He takes occasionally a glass of Madeira, but I 
have never seen him under the effects of liquor.” 

“ He becomes a silent drinker, then, madam ; this 
is doubly hard to disprove. Of course I don’t say 
that he really is, but it looks well in the bill,” 
and Mr. Partem made a hasty note in his note- 
book. 

“ Now, madam,” continued Mr. Partem, “ let me 
ask another question : Has he been cruel to you, — 
not physically brutal or violent, but mentally cruel ; 
has he shown you, for instance” — Mr. Partem rubbed 
his chin — “ his fancied superiority in an overbearing 
manner ?” 

Mrs. Pampero hesitated with the conscientious 
desire to answer the exact truth, and only the exact 
truth. “No, sir, he has only been a little pompous 
sometimes.” 

“ Pompous !” caught up Mr. Partem ; “ the very 


PARADISE. 


55 


thing, madam. Pomposity is the concomitant of 
hypocrisy, hypocrisy is concealed vice, and con- 
cealed vice is worse than open crime. Now, madam, 
I have the case in a nutshell. Leave it all to me, 
and I’ll write out a brief abstract, which I will sub- 
mit to you for approval in the morning.” 

“ But I thought you said several months’ resi- 
dence was one of the necessary formalities,” hesi- 
tated Mrs. Pampero ; the fact is, I only arrived 
by the midday train.” 

Mr. Partem smiled. ‘‘ You tell me, madam, 
your husband will not likely put in a denial. In 
that case, who will question whether you’ve been 
here twenty-five minutes or as many months ? You 
may have only just returned here at midday to-day ; 
you might have been living here the required time 
before, en retraiteP 

‘‘ But I haven’t.” 

Tut, tut, madam ! the law looks at the spirit of 
these things. You would like, now, to have lived 
here the required time. Besides, we lawyers here 
have a little professional rivalry as to who can assist 
his clients in the speediest manner. It’s a pecu- 
liarity that is not usual with lawyers in other 
branches, and it’s quite confined to Paradise, I 
assure you. Leave the matter, therefore, entirely 
in my hands, and I’ll submit the abstract of the case 
to you to-morrow morning. Who might this gentle- 
man be ?” and he directed his inquiry at Mr. Axel, 
who, finding the hall where he had waited growing 
monotonous, had thought to bring matters to an 
issue by at last following Mrs. Pampero in. 

Mrs. Pampero blushed. He’s the gentleman,” 
she said with ready tact, ‘‘ who advised me to apply 


56 


PARADISE. 


to yon, sir.” Then presenting them, Mr. Axel — 
Mr. Partem.” 

“ Mr. Axel,” said Mr. Partem, Pm very glad to 
meet you, sir.” 

Then Mrs. Pampero and her “semi-detached” 
withdrew. 

It was very provoking, but the very first person 
Mr. Axel met on his return was the dismal man, 
who seemed to be lying in wait for him again. 
“Well,” said the dismal man, “ how did you like 
him ?” 

“ Like whom ?” demanded Mr. Axel. 

“ Why, Mr. Partem.” 

It was annoying to confess he had taken the dis- 
mal man’s advice. “ Who might Mr. Partem be f ’ 
Mr. Axel therefore demanded, evasively. 

“ Oh, that’s too gauzy,” said the dismal man, 
laughing. “ I thought you’d go to him after what 
I said, so I took the liberty of following you to be 
able to direct you, if necessary, to his olfice.” 

Mr. Axel surveyed the dismal man from head to 
foot with unspeakable displeasure. 

“ Oh, they all come to him at last ; Mr. Partem 
is a ‘ corker.’ May I ask what complaints you filed 
in your biU ?” 

“You may ask, sir, but you will not be answered ;’ ’ 
then Mr. Axel brushed by stifily. He felt annoyed, 
provoked at the insufferable forwardness of this in- 
tolerable creature, and yet the melancholy visage of 
the man awoke a feeling of compassion that affected 
him, struggle with it as he would. Mrs. Pampero had 
gone up to her room to recline after the fatigues of 
the day. Perhaps to efface the depressing souvenirs 
of the melancholy man’s countenance, or perhaps 


PARADISE. 


57 


for no better reason than that he had mentally vowed 
that he wonld let Mrs. Trevellyn alone, Mr. Axel 
found himself inquiring for Mrs. Trevellyn at the 
office, — Mrs. Trevellyn being the lady to whom he 
had made the peculiar bow at dinner. Here he 
learned that the lady in question had left that very 
afternoon for some springs in the neighborhood, and 
would not in all likelihood return for a week or ten 
days. 


CHAPTER IX. 

Mr. Pampero, as soon as the train had escaped 
him, turned in a very natural heat of temper, and 
found a tall, ungainly -looking individual with his 
coat oif, and with that uncouth description of beard 
that is known in rural districts as ‘‘ chin whisker,” 
holding him by the coat-sleeve. 

What do you want?” demanded Mr. Pampero, 
red with indignation. 

The coatless man expectorated, and without say- 
ing anything scanned his face, and then cohipared 
it with a paper he held in his hand. 

‘‘ I guess you’ 11 do,” he said at last, with a rather 
dubious air, however. “ Light grayish whiskers, 
prominent Roman nose, slightly inclined to stout- 
ness, probably accompanied by beautiful woman ; 
answers to name of Axel. Stop at all hazards. Five 
thousand dollars reward.” 

A great light suddenly dawned on Mr. Pampero ; 
so great a light that it dulled his ears, strange as it 


58 


PARADISE. 


may seem, to tlie concluding sentence of the 
despatch. 

‘‘ But that’s my telegram,” he exclaimed. I 
sent it myself. My name is at the bottom. Pam- 
pero is my name. I don’t ‘ answer to the name of 
Axel’ at all.” 

I suppose not,” said the coatless man, “least- 
wise when it ain’t convenient.” 

Matters were getting complicated, particularly 
when Mr. Pampero came to search in his pockets 
and found that his letters and other means of identi- 
fication had gone on in the train. 

“ But look at me,” he said. “ Do I answer that 
description in any respect ? I appeal to these gentle- 
men here,” turning to the usual assortment of 
loungers that ornamented the station. “ Look at 
me, gentlemen ; am I more than ordinarily stout 

The loungers constituted themselves into a select 
committee as they pressed around to make inspec- 
tion. 

“ Well, you ain’t as stout as the major,” said one ; 
“but, then,” ventured another, “he’s runnin’ the 
doctor pretty hard for the presidency of the Fat 
Men’s Club.” 

“ Is my nose prominent, then, — too prominent, I 
mean? In fact, would you call it a pronounced 
Poman nose ?” 

“ It ain’t that now,” said the last speaker, “ but, 
then, during the journey it may have got broke 
off—” 

“ Or druv in,” suggested a third. 

Mr. Pampero deeply resented this by-play. 

“ But I ain’t the man,” he continued, impulsively, 
“ I swear to you, gentlemen, I am not.” 


PARADISE. 


59 


That’s what they all said.” 

‘‘ Who all said from Mr. Pampero, in surprise. 

Cl’ar the track for the prisoner,” cried the 
coatless man, interrupting the discussion ; and with 
that silent respect for authority that our people 
evince when that authority is just and is backed up 
by official determination, the crowd separated and 
allowed the two to pass. 

A white horse hitched to an open wagon stood 
before the station. 

I suppose a citizen of this boasted land of liberty 
can communicate with his friends,” Mr. Pampero 
paused before entering the wagon to observe ; ‘‘he 
can telegraph, I suppose 

“ No, he can’t.” 

“ And may I ask why ?” in accents of withering 
irony. 

‘ ‘ Operators all struck this morning ; grand com- 
bination against capital. Capital, sir, has drawn its 
last breath.” 

“ Scum !” said Mr. Pampero, as he mounted to 
the wagon, showing how deeply he resented this 
prophetic reflection on his class, “ scum, sir, scum !” 
And he took his seat. 

“No, none this y’ar,” answered his conductor 
laconically ; “ but we had a fairly good crop last 
whereupon he proceeded to rattle the whip in its 
holder, at which the gray mare suddenly began to 
move. 

A long dusty road lay before them, and at the end 
of the road was a village. At the end of the village 
was a saloon, and at the end of the saloon, when 
they drew near it, was seen what looked like a 
large whitewashed barn. 


60 


PARADISE. 


‘‘Ho !” said tlie driver, pulling up at the barn. 
Then he signified for Mr. Pampero to descend. 

Mr. Pampero looked with a longing bred of the 
dust at the lager-bier saloon, and the coatless man 
looked at the barn. 

“You won’t be lonesome,” he said, reflectively. 

“ Lonesome where ?” asked Mr. Pampero. 

The coatless man shrugged his shoulders and 
pointed toward the barn. 

Mr. Pampero’s soul rose in indignant protest. 
“You don’t mean to say I’m to be confined — in 
that outhouse ?” 

“We call it the County Jail in these parts, so 
you’d better come in.” 

Mr. Pampero’ s surprise was warranted by facts. 
To the preconceived ideas of a prison such as despots 
incarcerate their victims in, Tippecanot County jail 
offered a striking contrast. While the cells of des- 
pots are of grimy stone, Tippecanot jail was of 
clapboards. While the cells of despots have iron 
bars to their windows, Tippecanot had shutters. 
Indeed, from the numerous exits to liberty it offer- 
ed, Tippecanot jail at first sight was the very home 
of freedom, many of the clapboards having sprung 
from the sides, many of the shutters of the windows 
being broken, and many of the shingles being off the 
roof. And the poor and the distressed, those who 
were brought here without money in their pockets, 
were free, it is said, to avail themselves of any of the 
numerous exits the jail contained. Let a man once 
be entrapped here, however, whose friends could 
afford to pay five dollars extra per diem for bet- 
ter board, and Tippecanot jail was said to be, on 
the contrary, as difficult to escape from as the 


PARADISE. 


61 


ouhliette of a feudal baron or the adamantine walls 
of cruel Chillon itself. 

Be this as it may in other cases, the distinction 
was not destined to operate in Mr. Pampero’s case. 
Nevertheless he was struck, as every one else was at 
first sight, with the extreme facility of escape, and 
he was consequently surprised to notice some three 
or four figures scattered about in the rather dark- 
some interior. 

On Mr. Pampero’s entrance one of these figures 
rose to greet him. 

‘‘Another gentleman, I presume,” said the pris- 
oner, in accents of polished irony, “ who won’t an- 
swer to the name of Axel.” 

Mr. Pampero failed to perceive the full bearings 
of the remark. 

“It’s scarcely natural that I should answer, since 
it was I who sent the telegram.” 

To Mr. Pampero’s bewilderment there was a gen- 
eral and apparently a hostile movement of dark, 
shadowy figures toward him. 

Mr. Pampero retreated with the vague idea of de- 
fending his head from a threatening horror ; which, 
however, turned out to be nothing more danger- 
ous than a large and imperfectly roUed-up um- 
brella. 

“ Then, sir, it’s you who are responsible for our 
unwarranted detention. What do you mean, sir, 
sending such loosely worded telegrams flying about 
the country ? It has been a perfect net, sir, a seine, 
sir, that $5000 reward.” 

“ What $5000 reward ? I never mentioned any- 
thing about any reward.” 

“ It was in the telegram, sir, and you’ll probably 


62 


PARADISE. 


have to pay it,” was added somewhat illogical- 
ly, seeing the person designated was not yet 
caught. 

A second great light dawned on Mr. Pampero. It 
was this, then, that the detective had asked his per- 
mission to add, for the purpose of making the de- 
spatch effective ! And he mentally recalled his 
sister-in-law’s remarks about his employing detec- 
tives. 

But we’ll have damages — damages from you, 
sir ; we’ll hold you personally liable.” 

This was an accumulation of horrors. 

‘‘ But it isn’t so bad, gentlemen, if you’ll only 
look at it in the right spirit,” he pleaded. My 
sister-in-law will return soon with papers to estab- 
lish my identity, and then I can — ” 

‘‘ Oh, you were going off with your sister-in-law, 
were you, you bold, bad man 
This was too much. I was going after my wife, 
sir. Had you all such worthy objects in journeying 
to Paradise And he fixed his eye sternly upon a 
figure he now detected for the first time sitting with 
arms and legs all doubled up in one corner like a 
knot, and its head, with its mop of gray hair, poised 
upon its knees. 

Don’t mind him, sir,” said the gentleman of the 
polished accent, coming forward; ‘‘he’s a little 
weak up here,” and the gentleman pointing to his 
own head, Mr. Pampero noticed it was supported 
by a clerical-looking collar. 

This gentleman, a seedy-lookiiig man in a long 
duster, the owner of the umbrella, who had a red 
face and large spectacles, such as college profes- 
sors sport, together with the lanky individual nurs- 


PARADISE. 


63 


ing his mop of gray hair on his knees, constituted 
the somewhat multifarious haul of that penal seine. 
Mr. Pampero was looking at the last figure and 
wondering within his own mind whatever could 
induce such a specimen of humanity to be journey- 
ing to Paradise, when the figure slowly unwound 
itself, and drawing out one leg after the other from 
its folds, raised the gray head from the knees. 

“ Oh, if we only had a pack of cards,” it said, I 
wouldn’t mind so much. Do you know, the only 
thing I can do is to play poker.” 

The suggestion was a happy one. It was of all 
importance for Mr. Pampero to keep the gentlemen 
in good spirits until the coming of his sister-in-law. 

‘‘ Suppose we send to the jailer for a pack ; he’ll 
probably sell us one,” he suggested. 

Why, how extraordinary !” exclaimed the owner 
of the gray head. I have a pack right here in my 
pocket,” and then the party looked at him compas- 
sionately and with deep sympathy for his mental 
afflictions. 

‘‘ My mother — no, my sister, I mean — always 
makes me travel with a pack. You see, I forget 
everything. I’m so absent-minded.” 

Because there was absolutely nothing else to do, 
and it served to relieve the monotony, or partly for 
the philanthropic desire to humor their unfortunate 
friend, the party, after a proper degree of hesitation, 
all sat down and began to play. 

Mr. Pampero was in a desperate frame of mind. 
The elopement of his wife, the chances of being 
obliged to pay that $5000 reward for her companion, 
the dread of damages fixed by an irresponsible jury 
for the detention of these several people, all united 


64 


PARADISE. 


to interrupt the usual calm and philosophical flow 
of his mind. There was one circumstance, however, 
which, for all his engrossment with his own trou- 
bles, he could not fail to notice — namely, the re- 
markable skill of the absent-minded man in ma- 
nipulating his cards. Altogether Mr. Pampero had 
never seen anything like it. It fairly fascinated 
him, and yet he was surprised that with it all the 
absent-minded man should succeed so poorly at 
poker. 

He even questioned him about it at the fairly good 
dinner that was served the players some two or 
three hours afterward. 

There’s another little game some folks say I play 
better,” observed the absent-minded man, with the 
same far-away expression of countenance. You 
take two kings and one ace, you throw them this 
way, and you guess where the ace falls.” 

Mr. Pampero guessed, and guessed rightly. 

But you can’t do it for a dollar,” said the absent- 
minded man, cunningly. 

“ I could do it for five every time,” cried Mr. 
Pampero, forgetting his dignity in his easy confi- 
dence, and Mr. Pampero again guessed right. Then 
the instincts of a railroad director, combining with 
those of a bank president, carried him away. Not 
that he was greedy for the money, — only money, 
after all, is the best criterion of success. ‘‘I’ll 
double the bet,” he said. As if by chance the 
absent-minded man won. Tlie operation was re- 
peated several times, and the curious fact was that 
whenever, in the shifting nature of the game, the 
money on the card was large, Mr. Pampero could 
not guess it, and when there was only a small 


PARADISE. 


65 


amount he invariably did. He got angry about it ; 
it was too absurd, and yet he was $60 out. He 
would make a great coup to recover the whole. 

The absent-minded man carelessly dropped one 
card upon the floor instead of on the shutter which 
constituted the table. Mr. Pampero was sure he saw 
the king falling, but he had been so often deceived 
that he resolved to be wary. He would be more than 
wary, he would make a bold, strategic move. 

‘‘It’s the ace,’^ he said. 

The absent-minded man seemed flurried. “I’ll 
double the bet, it’s an ace,” repeated Mr. Pampero. 
“ But you saw it,” said the other, as if hesitating 
to take the offer. 

“ Never mind that. I’ll quadruple the money,” 
cried Mr. Pampero, gaining confidence as the absent- 
minded man appeared to lose it. “It’s an ace for 
quadruple the money.” 

“ Oh, very well, if you insist on it,” answered his 
adversary. Then quietly turning over the card on 
its face, “ Why, how odd ! It’s the king, after all.” 

Mr. Pampero lay back in his seat. He saw the 
full situation at last. There were three principles 
combined in one that he made a maxim of in life — 
namely, “ To own up, to pay up, and ta shut up.” 
This threefold principle lay behind his great success 
in life, and he invariably followed it — when he was 
cornered and could not do otherwise. 

The absent-minded man laughed foxily. “ I sup- 
pose you’ll bring out a large bill for me to change, 
but I haven’t got any money.” 

It was curious, but Mr. Pampero had in his mind 
the tendering of a large bill in hopes that the other 
could not change it. The latter’s words encouraged 


66 


PARADISE. 


him to present it. ‘‘I haven’t anything less,” said 
Mr. Pampero, stiffly. 

‘‘ Well, I call that real mean,” said the absent- 
minded man. You offer it to me because you 
think I can’t make the change ; that’s a very old 
trick.” 

Mr. Pampero was nettled. ‘‘ If you can’t make 
the change, and none of these gentlemen can, you’ll 
have to give me your address, and I’ll send it to 
you.” 

‘‘ Oh,” said the absent-minded man, I know 
what that means. I’d rather risk it than wait for 
that then he took the bill and scanned it, and 
afterward, as if suddenly recollecting it, he drew a 
roll of money from his pocket. 

It’s darned hard on me to take all my change,” 
he continued, with an injured air ; and then he 
counted out the change so carefully and seemed so 
loth to part with it that any suspicions Mr. Pam- 
pero might have had were immediately allayed. 
Then, too, Mr. Pampero was sure, in counting over 
the bills, that the absent-minded man, in spite of his 
care, had given him ten dollars too much ; and this 
was too just a retribution upon the absent-minded 
man for him to call attention to the mistake. Be- 
sides, at this moment, of all others. Miss Eebecca, 
accompanied by the jailer, made her sudden appear- 
ance, and not caring to enter into particulars before 
her, Mr. Pampero pocketed the money. 

Nevertheless, Mr. Pampero was not destined to 
leave Tippecanot as soon as he naturally might have 
expected. To be sure, his dressing-bag, which Miss 
Eebecca brought back with her, contained letters 


PARADISE. 


67 


that satisfied even the jailer of his identity, and 
further facilitated, on his representations, the re- 
lease of the rest ; but he was too late to catch the 
through train for Paradise, so he resolved to wait 
over till morning. 

Finally, when he came to buy tickets the next 
morning on this through train— for he had given up 
his free pass earlier in the journey — he noticed for 
the first time how suspiciously new were the bills he 
had been given the previous evening. They were so 
new that the ticket-agent absolutely refused to re- 
ceive them, and he was left to the sole solution that 
in a fit of absent-mindedness the simple individual 
had given him counterfeit bills. And the worst of 
it was that the same gentleman had taken, with the 
absent-mindedness that marked his character, the 
train of the preceding afternoon. It was impossible 
to telegraph after him, because the operators were 
still on strike. Indeed, after his bitter experience in 
that line it is doubtful whether Mr. Pampero would 
have indulged in the luxury of stopping any man 
again. The several other gentlemen who, like him- 
self, had remained behind refused point blank and 
with a deeply injured air to lend him anything ; and 
Miss Kebecca had spent all her money on her own 
little journey. 

The village was small, and the flavor of residence 
in its jail was not a recommendation in getting a 
check cashed ; and, to make a long story short, Mr. 
Pampero was obliged somewhat ignominiously to 
return to the only tavern the village contained and 
wait till his letters could bring him remittances from 
home. The only tavern was the one connected with 
the jail and kept by our coatless friend. 


68 


PARADISE. 


CHAPTER X. 

Affairs at Paradise move quickly ; so quickly 
that, although I do not pretend to say what effect 
her husband’s earlier arrival would have had on 
Mrs. Pampero’s conduct, his delay and the conse- 
quent failure to interpose obstacles to her suit 
hastened the proceedings. 

Though it really does take more than twenty-five 
minutes to secure a divorce in Paradise, the time re- 
quired is not long. Then, too, lawyers have a 
method of hastening proceedings by various devices, 
and in these devices Mr. Partem was an adept. He 
had already submitted the abstract of the case for 
Mrs. Pampero’s approval, and though there were 
several points in it that she had objected to, the 
tenor of the document met her views sufficiently 
well as a whole ; and consequently the suit might 
be said to be progressing fairly. 

As for Mr. Axel, if the lady to whom he had given 
that peculiar bow had remained at Paradise it is 
more than probable that he would have accepted 
the fact of her presence and treated her with that 
complicated mixture of politeness and constraint, 
of conciliatory good-fellowship dashed with for- 
mality that his bow evinced. But the fact of her 
leaving on the very afternoon of his arrival excited 
his curiosity. Could it be that she resented his 
coming ? Could she have forgotten the past ? 
During her absence he became slightly distrait^ and 
it required all his efforts at consistency to remain 
close to Mrs. Pampero, and to keep his mind suffi- 


PARADISE. 


C9 


ciently in hand to answer her somewhat difficult 
questions. 

‘‘I’m afraid you are not well,” she observed to 
him, as they were pacing up and down the large 
piazza of the hotel. 

“Not well he ejaculated ; “ I never was better 
in my life.” 

“No, you’re not. Oh, Mr. Axel, reflect ; it 
would be so awful were anything to happen to you. 
You don’t think you are ill, really ill, do you? 
You’ve given me so much assistance and advice in 
my suit, I really don’t see how I would get on with- 
out you.” 

Mr. Axel smiled grimly. “ Now that you speak 
of it, I really think I am going to be ill.” 

“ Oh, no,” she said ; “ you’re joking.” 

“ That’s the way it always is with me,” he said, 
candidly ; “ people always think me joking when I 
mean to be serious, and when I’m serious they think 
me amusing. Have you ever thought, Mrs. Pam- 
pero, what a dismal trait that is to possess?” and 
having arrived at the end of the piazza, they turned 
and walked back. 

“ But you were really joking about being ill. Do 
you know, if you fell ill I should blame myself ; I 
really should.” 

“ And that is the only reason you would have for 
being sorry ?” 

“ No ; I should be sorry on my husband’s account.” 

Mr. Axel stopped abruptly in his walk, almost 
dropping her arm as he did so. 

“ Why would you feel sorry on his account ?” he 
asked, in very natural surprise. 

“ Why, if you fell ill and my suit were dis- 


70 


PARADISE. 


continued, think what a blow it would be for 
him.” 

Oh, I see,” and Mr. Axel resumed his march. 

I must keep myself going for his sake.” 

But you don’t really think you’re going to die, 
do you, — that is, not very soon?” and she gave a 
ndim smile as she looked up into his face. 

‘‘ Perhaps not as soon as my heirs, if I had any, 
would like,” he answered. 

But you haven’t got any heirs, have you ? Oh, 
Mr. Axel, will you let me ask you an indiscreet 
question ? I have wanted to for so long. You won’t 
think me inquisitive, will you ?” 

I never think anything, Mrs. Pampero. I have 
trained my mind to be a perfect tabula rasa.’’'* 

I don’t know what a tabula rasa is, but what 
I wished to ask was — was — ” 

Well, what was it ?” 

‘‘You won’t think me rude ?” 

“ I told you I never think anything,” he said. 

“ Then, Mr. Axel, I will ask. Have you — have 
you ever been secretly married ?” 

Mr. Axel laughed out loud. “ So secretly that 
it’ s not been known to myself, ’ ’ he answered. ‘ ‘ But 
why do you ask ?’ ’ 

“ I don’t kn,ow ; sometimes I feel that you have 
had some secret sorrow.” 

Mr. Axel laughed again, this time a little grimly. 
“ So you think marriage is a secret sorrow ?” he ob- 
served, twisting her words and her meaning a little. 

“ Perhaps for the husband. But you know I 
really think you have some secret affliction. Why 
won’t you confide in me ?” 

“ If I confided to you my affliction,” he replied. 


PARADISE. 


71 


I’m very much afraid you would die with laugh- 
ter,” and there was an echo of sadness in Mr. Axel’s 
voice. 

Oh, no, I shouldn’t. Has it — has it anything 
to do with your literary efforts ?” 

Mrs. Pampero, with all her artlessness, had a way 
of circling round and round in her questions ; then, 
like a bird, dropping down just in the right place. 

‘‘You see, the secret sorrow that my husband has 
been so long bearing makes me especially obser- 
vant.” 


CHAPTER XI. 

Besides this last-mentioned trait Mrs. Pampero 
had a way of recurring to a subject long after she 
might naturally be supposed to have forgotten it. 
The second Sunday after their arrival— for, strange 
to say, Mr. Pampero had not yet come to interfere 
with his wife’s course of action — she had proposed 
an expedition to church ; and though Mr. Axel had 
acceded to the proposition and had meekly gone, 
on their way back he vented a slight feeling of 
displeasure by certain ironical expressions as to 
the service they had just attended, — observing that 
if it were so dijSicult for a rich man to enter the 
gates of heaven, it was equally difficult for a poor 
man to enter the gates of a fashionable church ; and 
speaking generally with a shameless disregard for 
proprieties that might well have annoyed any one, 
particularly so strait-laced a lady as his companion. 


72 


PARADISE. 


Mr. Axel,” said Mrs. Pampero, the secret sor- 
row of your life, of which I was speaking the other 
day, is that you don’t believe in anything. Some- 
times I think you hardly believe in my motive for 
coming here.” 

‘‘ Oh, but I do believe in that,” he said. I only 
draw the line at shams.” 

‘‘ But you think everything is a sham. Do you 
know, I almost believe you’re an infidel.” 

‘‘ There are two questions that must never be 
asked,” said Mr. Axel, solemnly ; one is a man’s 
religion, and the other is a woman’s age.” 

Mrs. Pampero turned it off gracefully. But do 
you believe in yourself? You know I can’t help 
asking you these questions ; I consider it my duty.” 

‘‘ Why do you think it’s your duty ?” 

“ Because you’ve been so kind, and because I take 
so much interest — I mean, because you said you 
were a friend of my husband’s.” 

‘‘ A friend of your husband’s ! I never said — oh, 
yes, I remember — an acquaintance of your hus- 
band’s.” 

‘‘ But, talking about shams,” she continued, art- 
lessly, ‘‘ you believe everything is a sham because 
you don’t believe in yourself — and you don’t believe 
in yourself because you have no one absorbing pur- 
pose in life. Every one ought to have a purpose, a 
mission in life. Do you know, I couldn’t be happy 
for an instant if I felt I wasn’t doing something. 
Wouldn’t it be an odd situation, though, if every 
woman felt it to be her mission to separate from her 
husband ?” 

‘‘It would,” said Mr. Axel; “yes, it would be 
very odd indeed.” 


PARADISE. 


73 


By the way, have yon begun ‘ My Secret M ” 
Your secret? What do you mean?” for that 
little reference to shams, unintentional as it was, had 
made him more distrait than ever. 

Oh, that novel you were telling me of, which 
was to be your last attempt.” 

I am putting it olf,” he said, grimly, until 
they change the tarilf and bring down the price of 
paper.” 

Mrs. Pampero sighed, and instinctively felt his 
literary efforts to be a subject on which he only 
liked to converse in monologue. 

It was some half hour afterward that, on discover- 
ing Mrs. Trevellyn had returned the preceding night 
from the springs, he found himself knocking at the 
door of her private sitting-room. 

Axel was a man who could no more be constant 
to one course of thought than to one course of diet. 
The range of any one human mind was too limited 
to suit him. His friends significantly abbreviated 
his Christian name into ‘‘ Vary.” He required 
change, and it came as naturally to him to seek 
change as, after a continued course of beef, a man 
longs for vegetables or game. Besides, ‘‘talking 
about shams” had grown monotonous, so he knocked 
at Mrs. Trevellyn’ s door, seeking a sort of intellect- 
ual spice after a surfeit of Mrs. Pampero. 

Mrs. Trevellyn was seated at her piano turning 
over the pages of her music, — a piano which she 
carried about with her as conscientiously as Mr. 
Axel did his tub. 

“ Don’t get up,” he said ; “ I want to hear a little 
music,” and he dropped into a chair. 

“ Oh, you want to hear a little music !” she re- 


74 


PARADISE. 


peated, laughingly. Has Paradise begun already 
to weary you 

‘‘Ho,” he said, “but I feel in a musical mood. 
I suppose, it being Sunday, you will have to confine 
yourself to sacred music.” 

Mrs. Trevellyn dropped her face upon her long 
white hand as she rested her elbow on the keys ; 
then looking up, — “ Tell me first,” she said, “ what- 
ever brings you to Paradise ? I have a right to 
know.” 

By what code of ethics Mrs. Trevellyn assumed 
her “ right to know” is a difficult question to an- 
swer. A woman who has jilted one man and then 
bolted from a second has few rights, one would 
think, over either, except on the principle that two 
wrongs make a right. 

Mr. Axel took this view of the matter, and 
laughed a soft, purring kind of laugh. The laugh 
came in conveniently, for it was really a difficult 
affair . to explain exactly why he had come to 
Paradise. 

“You know I have always followed your career 
with so much interest, ’ ’ she said. ‘ ‘ Indeed I have. ’ ’ 

“Pm sure it’s very kind of you ; and now you 
regret seeing me here ?” 

“ I do, my friend, coming in the way you came.” 

“ And in what way do I come ?” 

Mrs. Trevellyn turned to the piano at last, and 
allowed her hands to glide softly over the keys, — 
now slowly, now quickly ; bursting at last into that 
most glorious of compositions — Gounod’s “ Ave 
Maria.” Mrs. Trevellyn played as I have never 
heard another woman play. I have heard more 
scientific musicians ; I have heard more powerful 


PARADISE. 


75 

ones ; and again I have heard musicians of greater 
reputation ; but I never have heard any one play 
quite like Mrs. Trevellyn. She played as if she felt 
more than even music could express ; but this re- 
flection is a most unwarranted aspersion on music, 
since she seldom felt anything except ennui. 

This ennui required constant excitement to relieve, 
and to play again on Mr. Axel’s feelings came as 
natural to her as to play on the piano. 

Mr. Axel loved to hear her play. The passion of 
the music and the cold frivolity of the player tickled 
his sense of the contradiction of things. After that 
visit he really felt more confirmed in his purpose 
respecting Mrs. Pampero, even though Mrs. Pam- 
pero believed he possessed no purpose. The spice 
excited his palate for honester food. 


CHAPTER XII. 

It is not our purpose to describe Mr. Pampero’s 
progress step by step, or to detail at any length the 
obstructions that at every turn met his heroic efforts 
to reach Paradise. Indeed, we need only enter into 
the particulars of one more delay, and then the long- 
retarded current of his emotions will be allowed to 
burst like a retributive torrent on the heads of those 
so richly deserving retribution. 

We have had a faint foreshadowing of the cause 
of this second and greatest delay in the circum- 
stances of his first delay. The strike of the telegraph 


76 


PARADISE. 


operators had extended to the freight-handlers on 
the great line of the Almondew Northern ; and, as 
it happened, the first passenger train to meet with 
any delay, owing to obstructions on the line, was the 
one on Avhich our two travellers had embarked. In 
blissful ignorance of trouble, however, Mr. Pampero 
was approaching the station of Theotuck, an inter- 
esting town of some twenty thousand inhabitants, 
and especially noted for its enterprise in the packing 
of pressed beef. 

Here the freight-handlers were re-enforced by a 
still larger number of unoccupied and hungry peo- 
ple, and these rather than the first, because they 
were hungry, were raising a demonstration around a 
freight train loaded with provisions ; reprehensible, 
if you like, from the standpoint of the turtle-fed, but 
alas ! natural from the standpoint of those whose 
stomachs crave. 

“ I wonder what all the crowd is about observed 
the railroad king, looking out the window as the 
train slowed up. Then a platoon of police, suddenly 
coming into sight, charged the crowd, and clubs 
and sticks were freely used. “ Why, bless my soul, 
it’s a riot !” he continued ; and then, as the iDolice 
were evidently the stronger and drove the crowd 
back, Mr. Pampero became enthusiastic in his ap- 
preciation of the scene. Great Scott !” he said, 

what a chance to buy the road cheap if this sort 
of thing goes on !” Then to his companion, Now, 
Becky, you really ought to look at this. We’ve 
heard so much lately about strikes, it’s just as well 
to have a little experience to talk about when you 
get home.” 

‘‘Yes,” said the conductor, who happened to pass 


PARADISE. 


77 


at that moment, “ there’ll be a heap to tell about. 
They say they’re five thousand strong at the other 
end of the town, but we’ll carry this train through 
if we bust.” 

Mr. Pampero slightly changed color. Would 
that be right,” he said, ‘‘for the stockholders?” 
and he spoke with the feeling regard that directors 
usually show for the interests of stockholders. “ So 
much valuable property might be damaged, to say 
nothing of the safety of the passengers.” 

“We’re going to make a test case of it,” said the 
conductor. “If we can push through we’ll break 
the backbone of the strike at the beginning.” 

“ Oh, how glorious !” ejaculated Miss Becky, 
brightly. 

Mr. Pampero looked reprovingly at his sister-in- 
law. “You have no sense of responsibility, Becky. 
I was just hesitating as to whether my duties to you 
as a guardian would not oblige me to leave the train 
and stop over till the matter is settled.” 

“ Here they come again,” exclaimed Becky, heed- 
less of her brother-in-law’s words. “ How entranc- 
ingly exciting !” 

“ O Lord !” exclaimed Mr. Pampero, as he saw 
the crowd, largely re-enforced, now in turn driving 
the police back in front of them ; then, beckoning 
to a servant of the company, — “ Porter, what would 
they do with the passengers, should — ” 

“ Dunno,” said the negro, dubiously. 

“ Would they — would they respect their persons ?” 

“ Hard to tell, sir. They say they caught an old 
gent farther down the line, lopped off his ears, and 
sent ’em home roast to his wife.” 

“ Impossible !” cried Mr. Pampero. Then turning 


78 


PARADISE. 


to his sister-in-law, — Though I place no credence 
in this ridiculous story, the widespread agrarian 
spirit that is abroad must prepare us for anything. 
Rebecca, my mind is made up : there is yet time to 
reach the station, which, I perceive, is full of po- 
lice. It will offer a safe retreat.” 

But I want to stay on the train and go to my 
sister.” 

Confound your sister !” exclaimed Mr. Pampero, 
with very natural testiness, as he hastily collected 
his bags. ‘‘You won’t reach her any quicker by 
being slaughtered. I won’ t permit you to be slaugh- 
tered ; I am only leaving on your account.” 

“ But I won’t go.” 

“ Yery well, then, Becky, I can’t take you by 
bodily force from the train ; I can only set you the 
moral example and go myself. Good-by, Miss Gar- 
land — good-by. Give my regards to the marauders, 
and if they should — hem — happen to mutila — I mean 
injure you — remember you would not take warning.” 

When Mr. Pampero made up his mind to do any- 
thing he was firm, as Becky knew perfectly well. 
When the subject of his decision happened to be 
what he considered the lesser of two dangers, his 
resolution was as adamant. 

“I’ll come,” said Becky, without more ado, show- 
ing what a sensible girl Becky really was. 

So she hastily seized her portables, and following 
her brother-in-law out, was assisted by him to the 
ground. 

The train had stopped about fifty yards from the 
station. Some hundred yards or so down the track 
over which the train had just passed were the crowd, 
with the police gradually retreating before them. 


PARADISE. 


79 


We’ll have to be quick, Becky. Curse it, there 
goes my bag!” and as Mr. Pampero stumbled over 
the network of tracks he dropped his satchel. At 
the very instant that Mr. Pampero picked up his 
bag,^ the sharp report of a pistol was heard ; the 
crowd becoming infuriated, charged the police with 
new vigor, and scattering them in all directions, 
were soon disagreeably close on Mr. Pampero’s 
heels. An agony of terror — on his sister-in-law’s 
account — came over him ; but he had already ar- 
rived near the place of refuge — indeed, he was stag- 
gering to the platform. Then, just as he came 
panting toward the door to open it for his sister-in- 
law, indeed, just as he was reaching for the handle, 
the door opened before him and the reserve corps 
of police emerged in force. 

Bigob, it’s one av thim Commonists,” he heard. 

He’s been lootin’ the train and Mr. Pampero’s 
efforts to enter into particulars were suddenly 
drowned by a shower of blows on the crown of his 
white hat. 


CHAPTER XIII. 

Mrs. Pampero had not been long at Paradise 
before she discovered that it was a little world of 
itself. 

Occasionally, as at a hotel hop, for instance, 
the Pilgrims all met together, but at other times 
the coteries, of which there were several, pre- 
served their own autonomy. For instance, there 


80 


PARADISE. 


was Mrs. Fenible’s set, which generally took np a 
prominent position in the hall. There was Mrs. 
Henry T. Jevames’s set, which usually camiDed out 
in one of the large drawing-rooms ; and there was 
another set, which, having no distinct leadership, 
went, for the lack of a better designation, by the 
name of the Piazza set. 

What constitutes social superiority with us as a 
people is an enigma that a sphinx might have pro- 
pounded. It is not antiquity of descent. It is not 
political distinction. It is not esprit or wit. It is 
not wealth alone, or even the pursuit of certain pro- 
fessions. It is Fashion. But what is Fashion % 
Mrs. Pampero in her heart of hearts conceived the 
acme of Fashion to be the possession of an opera-box 
and a pew in Grace Church. But this is, at best, a 
local definition, and includes but a small coterie. 

Among these sets there was the greatest exclusive- 
ness ; and of them all Mrs. John Q. Ferrible’s was 
felt rather than acknowledged to be the leader. 
Captain Hilton Tilton was most frequently found in 
it, and as he ‘‘ went everywhere,” he was held to be 
a great arbiter of social matters. That it is not 
‘‘going everywhere,” however, that gives prestige, is 
shown by the fact that Mr. Axel, though he went 
very little into general society, was considered, to 
use a familiar phrase, “ the very creme de la creme?'* 
All the ladies, too, of these different sets kept their 
eyes on him, and lamented, in tones of the sincerest 
commiseration, “ that he should be throwing him- 
self away on such ‘ rank ’ outsiders.” 

Besides these sets there were the Boston set, the 
Philadelphia set, and, as Captain Hilton Tilton ex- 
pressed it, “a mob of people from other places, you 


PARADISE. 


81 


know.” For Mr. Hilton Tilton drew the line at 
Philadelphia, and lumped the inhabitants of all 
other towns that had not taken up coaching as a fine 

art, in one undesignated, nameless herd of humanity. 

From the fact of their being in none of these sets, 

or from that mysterious aflinity that draws the ex- 
tremes together, Mrs. Pampero and Mrs. Trevellyn 
had become ‘‘fast” friends, walking and driving 
continually together ; while Mr. Axel, through 
whose mediation the acquaintance had been brought 
about, constituted, as it were, the hypotenuse of a 
triangular friendship. 

No two women could be more dissimilar and yet 
more attractive in their several ways. Mrs. Trevel- 
lyn had the soft, pliant grace of a swan, with the 
carriage of a woman of lofty lineage. A Lady Yere 
de Yere in appearance, she was, in fact, sprung from 
a long line of grocers. Mrs. Pampero’s fascinating 
emotionalism added piquancy to a personality that 
slightly, but only slightly, inclined toward erribon- 
'point. Mrs. Trevellyn liked to patronize, and Mrs. 
Pampero hated to show that she considered the at- 
tentions of Mrs. Trevellyn in the light of patronage. 

What better basis can there be than the above for 
female friendship ? So, at all events, reasoned Mr. 
Axel, as he studied them together, smiling in that 
peculiar way he had, and noticing their habit of 
warmly praising each other. He drew from it his 
own inferences. 

“ What a perfectly fascinating creature she is !” 
said Mrs. Pampero, on their return from a drive one 
day about the city. “ So natural, too, and un- 
affected. Why do you say Oh ?” she broke off to 

ask, turning sharply iqDon him. 


82 


PARADISE. 


“I didn’t say Oh! I said Ah I” replied Mr. 
Axel. 

“ But you meant it all the same. Poor thing ! 
I fear she has had a hard life, some secret sorrow. 
I’m sure her husband must be a brute.” 

‘‘ Ye-es,” drawled Mr. Axel. 

‘‘ Did you ever know him 

‘‘ IN'ot exactly.” 

How provoking you are I Why will you never 
give a definite answer? What do you mean by 
^ not exactly ’ ?” 

‘‘ I mean that I only know him by reputa- 
tion.” 

He doesn’t bear a good one, does he ?” 

‘‘Hot preci — I mean I’ve known men with bet- 
ter.” 

“ I was sure of it. I feel convinced she has been 
more sinned against than sinning.” 

Mr. Axel’s reply was lost in the sudden appear- 
ance of Mrs. Trevellyn, who at that moment re- 
entered the room with a work-basket full of bright 
ribbons. 

“ How much a little color will do for this great 
barren sitting-room of yours !” she said. “ These 
bare white walls, these cold marble mantelpieces, 
and these execrable registers remind one of a chari- 
table institution,” and she draped back the curtains 
with a broad yellow ribbon. 

“ The proprietor told me he was himself aware of 
the artistic deficiencies of his house,” said Mr. Axel, 
gravely, “ and so far as the dining-room is concerned, 
he’s going to improve it in a way that ought to 
recommend itself to the most aesthetic.” 

“ What’s he going to do ?” 


PARADISE. 


83 


He’s going to ‘ tone it up,’ as he expressed it, 
by engaging colored waiters.” 

The ladies both laughed. 

‘‘I’m certain that’s an idea of your own, Yarian, 
it’s so bizarre. Did you ever see any one so bizarre 
as he is and Mrs. Trevellyn turned to Mrs. Pam- 
pero. 

“ He is certainly peculiar,” said Mrs. Pampero, 
scarcely knowing what else to say. 

“ Peculiar isn’t the word for it. He’s really 
original. By the way, Yarian, why don’t you try 
literature or something of that sort, and give your 
originality a chance ?” 

Mr. Axel winced. 

“ But he does write,” said Mrs. Pampero, coming 
good-naturedly to the rescue. “ He told me so 
himself.” 

Mr. Axel was one of those men who, as long as 
they hold the whip-hand of conversation, drive along 
rejoicing ; but who, the moment the whip is turned 
against them, lose the reins. “ Great Scott !” he 
said, weakly turning to his watch for relief, “it’s 
later than I thought.” 

“ But it’s never too late to mend,” said Mrs. Trev- 
ellyn, gayly. “ So he has begun to write, has he ? 
What does he write ?” 

“ Oh, novels and plays,” said Mrs. Pampero, 
enthusiastically taking his part ; “ and he tells me 
he is beginning a new novel.” 

“ And what is the subject to be 

This was all torture to Mr. Axel, and he knew it 
was meant as such from the moment Mrs. Trevellyn 
had re-entered the room. He knew that she knew 
they had been talking about her. 


84 


PARADISE. 


But when he was put in a corner, Mr. Axel could 
strike back like a cat. I was thinking,” he said, 
‘‘ that it might be a good idea to work np Paradise. 
The various inducements that bring these various 
people together, the causes, the heroic purposes that 
influence them, would make, I think, a very novel 
novel. Are you not of my opinion, Mrs. Trevellyn V ’ 

It was Mrs. Trevellyn’ s turn to wince, but she 
artistically concealed her annoyance with a sigh. 
In her heart of hearts she hated Mr. Axel at that 
instant — hated him with such hatred that it would 
have given her an ecstasy of pleasure to drive a 
keen blade up to the hilt in his heart ; and yet she 
respected him at that moment for once, because he 
could strike back. 

‘‘ But you won’t put all our names in ?” cried Mrs. 
Pampero, with a secret hope that he might. 

I shall not be personal,” said Mr. Axel, politely ; 
and then, turning to Mrs. Trevellyn, ‘‘ It might be 
disagreeable to some, mightn’t it 

‘‘ It would certainly be under-bred,” she observed, 
with a steely look from her cold gray eyes, and 
somehow the swan-like figure changed till it gave 
one the idea of the grace that a serpent has. For 
Mrs. Trevellyn had a very good reason to conceal 
her purposes in coming to Paradise. 

‘‘I’m going to enter into the etymology of the 
several names of the place,” he continued, dwelling 
in turn upon the subject, as the subject unwelcome 
to him had been dwelt on. “ For instance. I’ll call 
this river, instead of the Almondew, the Ali-mon- 
dieu.’’’^ 

“ The ‘ A7i-mon-dieu^ cried Mrs. Pampero. 

“ Yes ; the Almondew is merely a corruption of 


PARADISE. 


85 


Ali-mon-dieu ; and as for the name of the city itself, 
Paradise is merely a happy escape ont of Devil’s 
Hollow, or Diable Hollow, as I believe it was orig- 
inally called.” 

“ Comme tu es hHeavec tes idees^'''’ said Mrs. Trev- 
ellyn, yawning. 

I don’t know that I am ; so many people mutter 
ATi-mon-dieu when they think of this river. There 
has been — excuse me — the devil to pay in so many 
families - because of this city, and so many hopes 
have been carried down and lost in these falls, that 
Diable for the town and the Greater and Lesser 
‘ Enfer ’ for the rapids are really most appropriate 
designations. By the way, Mrs. Trevellyn, do you 
know a gentleman whom Mrs. Pampero and myself 
have dubbed the ^ Dismal Man’ ?” 

“ I know one dismal man,” answered Mrs. Trev- 
ellyn, pointedly, and he’s very wearisome at times. 
Suppose we change the subject.” 

Mr. Axel felt he had won a moral victory ; a little 
roughly, a little brutally, but then he had won it 
with the only weapons that were available. There 
are some women who only respect force. Mrs. 
Trevellyn was one of that kind ; she respected it in 
contrast to her own artificial grace and meretricious 
delicacy. If that force were combined with brutality 
she did not like it the more, but it fascinated her, 
as the opposite sometimes does. 

So the sweet friendship of these three went on, 
Mr. Axel practising consistency by keeping close to 
Mrs. Pampero, and tempting his consistency (if only 
to show how strong it was) by commonplace atten- 
tions to Mrs. Trevellyn ; Mrs. Pampero devoting 
herself meanwhile to the self-sacrificing purpose for 


86 


PARADISE. 


which she had come, and Mrs. Trevellyn finding a 
growing relief to her ennui in the naivete and 
the artless simplicity of her female friend. And so 
their sweet friendship went on, drawing the partici- 
pants nearer each day, little by little, to that over- 
whelming finale which an inscrutable Providence 
assigns to sweet and bitter things alike. 

It was Mr. Axel’s intention to wait till the whole 
adventure — God help him ! — was over before begin- 
ning his book, so that proximity should not inter- 
fere with the proper perspective, as he argued. For 
this reason he had not even made notes. He was 
simply getting imbued with the spirit of things 
before writing, utterly oblivious as to the writing 
that Fate was even now preparing to place before 
his eyes. He would “let himself go,” and wait 
until it was all over. 

Sometimes, however, faint admonitions of coming 
events would strike him like a chill, dark shadow. 
He could not help thinking that if he began his book 
in the playful vein it would be extremely awkward 
to have the old incongruity cropping out in sober 
earnest to the tune of some terrible catastrophe. 
Whereas, if he began it as an instructive homily, 
and it had a humorous, fantastic ending, it would 
be equally disastrous to his literary career. 


PARADISE. 


87 


CHAPTER Xiy. 

Affairs were nevertlieless getting complicated, 
and his efforts to subtend the angle of that trian- 
gular friendship were not unattended with diffi- 
culty. 

‘‘To let one’s self go” between two women, both 
beautiful in their way and both attractive, when one 
has gone through an interesting episode with one of 
them, is a matter that is fraught with very serious 
risks, never mind whether the action is influenced 
or not by praiseworthy desire to find an original 
subject for a romance. 

Mrs. Pampero, as we know, had a way of treasur- 
ing up Axel’s remarks and alluding to them long 
after he had forgotten them himself ; weighing them 
in her mind during the interval, and finding mean- 
ings to them that might well arouse the astonish- 
ment of the most imaginative. Further, she always 
waited to take him to task about these remarks 
until she had him where escape was impossible. 

“ What did you mean by all those horrible things 
you said about this town f ’ They were taking a 
drive in a barouche, and she had him securely by 
her side. 

“ Horrible things I said about this town !” he 
ejaculated. ‘ ‘ Why, I never said anything against it, 
— barring the climate, which, from its variety, ought 
really to suit all tastes. I think it’s delightful. 
Why, Mrs. Pampero, this town suits me to a T. 
There are no museums, as in European towns, to 
bore one, — no picture-galleries that have to be gal- 
loped through by the mile,— no bands of public 


88 


PARADISE. 


music that make both day and night hideous. After 
you- ve seen the new water- works and the gas-houses, 
there’s actually nothing to interfere with the quiet 
ecstasy of one’s own sensations.” 

“ You’re prevaricating, Mr. Axel ; I can always 
tell when you’re prevaricating.” 

“ How can you tell when I’m prevaricating he 
asked, with a shame-faced attempt to give a turn to 
the conversation. 

Because you then always have a peculiar little 
smile in your eyes ; you didn’t have this peculiar 
smile when you were abusing it.” 

‘‘ When did I abuse it, pray ?” 

“ A few days ago, when you were talking to Mrs. 
Trevellyn. You said that this place had brought 
unhappiness to so many families — that so many 
hopes had been lost in the falls between which it 
stands.” 

‘‘ Oh, but I merely said that because it had caused 
so much happiness to humanity. You see, if one 
didn’t occasionally take it down a peg or two, it 
might get conceited.” 

“You don’t mean now what you’re saying. 
You’ve got that peculiar smile in your eyes at this 
very moment. Oh, Mr. Axel, I know you meant it, 
but you did not mean it to apply to me.” 

“ I swear I didn’t,” he said, with full truthful- 
ness. 

“You don’t think I have caused any unhappiness 
in my family ? You do think my family will be 
glad I’ve come ?” 

“ I am convinced of it. Such a self-sacrificing 
course as yours must be appreciated.” 

“ But the peculiar fact is, I am not unhappy my- 


PARADISE. 


89 


self. How do you explain that ? Self-sacrifice pre- 
supposes a certain amount of suffering on one’ s own 
part, and if I am happy, I’m not sacrificing myself. 
I am really gratifying myself.” 

You are really unhappy, but you don’t know 
it,” replied Axel, driven to desperation. “The 
gratification comes from the self-sacrifice you are 
making, and this gives a false semblance of happi- 
ness. You are rejoicing, as it were, in your own 
misery.” 

“That’s the way I explain it too,” she said; 
“ how funny we should both hit on the same expla- 
nation !” 

“ I don’t think so. There are a hundred wrong 
explanations of any circumstance, but only, one 
right one.” 

“Yes, that’s probably it,” she replied, medita- 
tively. Then, recurring to the former subject, 
“But if you did not apply your remarks about 
Paradise to me, to whom did you ? Oh, Mr. Axel, 
did you apply them to Mrs. Trevellyn ?” 

Mrs. Pampero, as before noticed, with all her art- 
lessness, had a way of bringing the hammer down 
right on the head of the nail. 

“ Sometimes I think you know more of Mrs. 
Trevellyn’ s past than you acknowledge. I only ask 
because of my interest in you — but did your lives 
ever come together ?” 

“They did not come together,” said Mr. Axel, 
with emphasis. “ She was a friend— of my — of my 
sister, you know.” 

“ Why, I thought you told me that you had no 
sisters.” 

“ I meant no unmarried sisters.” 


90 


PARADISE. 


‘‘Do yon lose your sisters when they marry? 
I’m afraid you don’t take a lofty view of marriage.” 

“ I take so lofty a view of it that I resign them 
when they marry to the undivided joys of their 
higher existence. Halloo ! but here we are at the 
water- works. We’d better get out and look at the 
view again, if only not to hurt the feelings of our 
friend the driver.” 

They had, indeed, arrived at the Reservoir, the 
latest municipal improvement ; and though they 
had already enjoyed the view from it a dozen times, 
they descended from the carriage and walked up the 
slight acclivity on which it stood. 

‘ ‘ How rapid has been the western march of em- 
pire !” observed Mr. Axel, sententiously, fearing, 
perhaps, that the conversation might revert to his 
sisters. “ The church steeple and the gallows, it 
has been said, mark the advent of civilization ; lawn- 
tennis and Queen Anne villas certainly mark the 
refinements. Yet I really feel sorry for these little 
shingles, don’t you?” 

“ What little shingles ?” 

“ Why, the little shingles in that Queen Anne 
villa down there. They are tortured into such dis- 
tressing shapes ! Poor Queen Anne — poor Queen 
Anne ! I have a most sympathetic disposition, Mrs. 
Pampero.” 

Mrs. Pampero laughed. “ I was always asking 
Mr. Pampero to build me one at Newport, but he 
used to say he had a detestation of Queen Anne 
villas too. When I told him any other kind would 
answer, however, he replied that he didn’t have the 
heart to build me one of a style I didn’t like. I 
never got any cottage at aU. That was the result.” 


PARADISE. 


91 


Mr. Axel laughed himself this time. 

‘‘I really think, though, it was Newport that 
he didn’t like, it’s so expensive,” she added, art- 
> lessly. ‘‘ His great bugbear is financial ruin. It’s 
very odd for a man who’s so rich, but perhaps 
' that’s the reason he is so rich. I wonder whether 
the next wife he gets will like Queen Anne vil- 
las 

This was a poser. 

Fortunately the driver, having tied his horses to 
a convenient post below, sauntered up. The inter- 
ruption was too favorable not to be taken advantage* 
I of at once. ‘‘ Whose house is that down yonder ?” 

inquired Mr. Axel, pointing to the edifice they had 
I been contemplating. 

“ Oh, that’s the jedge’s,” said the driver. 

‘‘ And who’s the judge ?” asked Mr. Axel. 

‘‘Oh, the jedge? why, he’s the man that shot 
Billy McGee. Billy, you perceive, was runnin’ for 
the post of superintendent of public works on the 
Republican ticket. As this Reservoir was to be 
built, and there was a pile of money in the position 
besides, the jedge thought he’d like it for himself, 
so he started the Independent Reform party and 
threatened Billy, whose sister he had married, that 
if he didn’t draw out he’d get a divorce from her. 
This, or the danger of losing the place, so enraged 
Billy that he went one day into court as bold as 
blazes, and said, ‘ Jedge,’ said he, ‘ ef you’ll step 
outside I’ll fill you so full of holes yer friends won’t 
know yer.’ 

“ The jedge, who was a perfect gentleman, and 
game to the last, said, ‘ I’ll accommodate you, Billy, 
if you’U only wait till court’s over.’ 


92 


PARADISE. 


‘ If I was in your place, jedge, I wouldn’t wait, 
I’d adjourn.’ 

“ ‘ Well, by Gar, I will adjourn,’ said the jedge. 

‘ Boys, court’ s over for the day ; devil take the 
hindmost ; ’ and the jedge, followed by the boys, 
walked over here and began to shoot. 

“ I tell you what^ it was lively. Billy McGee at 
the second shot got behind that tree there and 
used his artillery from it, but the jedge he stood up 
like a man, and when he see Billy’s hat come poking 
around one side of the tree he aimed at the tother 
side, and Billy caught it straight between the eyes.” 

‘‘ And so Mr. Billy collapsed, I suppose,” said 
Mr. Axel. 

‘‘ He didn’t go foolin’ around much afterward,” 
admitted the driver. “ A very smart man is the 
jedge ; there’s talk of runnin’ him for senator, but 
I guess tiU the other contracts about here are fin- 
ished up Reform politics at home is good enough 
for him. He made $1,000,000 out of that job alone, 
they say, and built that house in the bargain.” 

“ Why will you persist in talking to these horrid 
people?” asked Mrs. Pampero, pettishly, as they 
re-entered the carriage. 

‘‘ Oh, I like to pick up facts as I go along,” said 
Mr. Axel. Besides, I had thoughts once of enter- 
ing politics and becoming a great reformer. You 
see what I have missed ; $1,000,000 is a great deal^ 
don’t you think so ?” 

Mrs. Pampero failed to notice the double entendre. 
‘‘There’s only one position in the gift of Govern- 
ment worth having.” 

“ What’s that ?” asked Mr. Axel. 

“ Oh, the ministership to England ; but even then 


PARADISE. 


93 


you have to dress like a waiter. I remember hear- 
ing of a fellow-countryman of ours at some Euro- 
pean court who asked our minister for a plate of 
oysters, and the funny thing is he forgot himself, 
and went and fetched it.” 

‘‘ Perhaps he only remembered himself, and was 
polite for once,” said Mr. Axel. 

Perhaps so; but I hate polite people, — don’t 
you ? I mean those painfully polite people.” 

That’s Just what I says to me wife,” observed 
the driver, leaning over and pleasantly Joining in 
the conversation. But, by the way, wouldn’t you 
like to see the new Court House, sir? I can tell 
you a thing or two about it that’ll open your eyes.” 

‘‘ rU remember,” said Mr. Axel, and shall keep 
you up to your offer some other day.” 

Then the horses’ heads were turned toward home. 
There was a trait about Mr. Axel that Mrs. Pam- 
pero particularly resented— namely, his habit of 
conversing with every one he met. She called it 
low, and from her standpoint perhaps it was low ; 
but fashionable ladies are not always good Judges. 
Indeed, in my opinion this was Axel’s very best 
trait, and his politeness and friendliness with every 
one were never taken advantage of. If it ever entered 
into his head to reflect on this matter,^ he reasoned 
that his social position was sufficiently assured to 
warrant his perfect independence. This habit con- 
stantly introduced him to new phases of life, and, 
besides this, as a result of his own lack of success 
he had really come to regard with secret veneration 
any one that could achieve for himself, never mind 
in how humble a walk, a consistent career. 

I like you,” said the driver, affably, when they 


94 


PARADISE. 


arrived at the hotel and Mr. Axel stopped behind to 
pay him. ‘‘You ought to come and settle down 
here.’’ 

“ And go into Independent politics ?” asked Axel. 

“ I didn’t mean that,” said the driver, laughing. 
“You see, the boys that run things in Paradise 
don’t really care much for reform, and him that was 
a raal reformer would git left every time. But 
what I mean is, the West would sort of spry you 
up. You’ve got plenty of grit ; all you want is the 
ginger to start it with.” 

“ What line would you particularly recommend ?” 
asked Mr. Axel, gravely. 

“ Any line is better than no line, and as I sez to 
my wife, a man that swabs down a winder is a better 
and a happier man than a club man that does nothin’ 
but look out of one all day.” 

“Bight you are,” said Mr. Axel, heartily. “I 
didn’t know you were so great a philosopher.” 

“ Well, I knowed you was a perfect gentleman the 
minit I sot eyes on you, and here’s my hand on it. 
Good-day, sir.” 

“ Good-day,” from Mr. Axel. 

And Mr. Axel walked into the house sadly. There 
was a world of truth in what that driver had said ; 
alas ! if his lines had been cast in the West, the free, 
exhilarating West, he might have been a better and 
a happier man ! There was so much truth in it that 
Mrs. Pampero, when he rejoined her some hours 
later in her sitting-room, commented on his dejec- 
tion. 


PARADISE. 


95 


CHAPTER XY. 

“ What has got into yon, Mr. Axel ? Here Mrs. 
Trevellyn was remarking all last night how dull yon 
were, and to-day, when we were looking for a 
change, you’re even duller than ever.” 

‘‘ But a man can’t be bright and amusing always,” 
he protested. 

But you never are — at least, nowadays ; you’re 
losing the good reputation I once gave you. Do 
you know, I thought once that you were almost 
clever.” 

That was a very rash opinion, I fear. Probably, 
like a mirror, I only reflect the brightness that is 
before me,” and Mr. Axel bowed. 

‘‘ Oh, please don’t ! I want to talk to you about 
something serious.” 

And you want me to be in a serious mood to re- 
ceive it. Yery well, I’m serious as a judge, — as our 
friend the judge that shot Mr. William McGee.” 

“ There you go again— you are perfectly incor- 
rigible !” 

‘‘ Why, you told me a moment ago I was too 
serious.” 

‘‘ I told you a moment ago you were too dull — 
and I haven’t succeeded in making you particularly 
brilliant.” 

‘‘Well, what is it?” he asked, resignedly, giving 
up banter at last. 

“ Why, it’s this paper of Mr. Partem’ s that’s just 
come,” removing from the table a weighty-looking 
document in a blue envelope. “ He’s gone and 
altered it completely. He’s made Mr. Pampero out 


96 


PARADISE. 


a regular marauder. You know how particular I 
was to insist that the full onus of blame should 
be thrown on me. It was I — I, all my imperfections 
that were to be dwelt on, not his.” 

‘‘ Still, I suppose that Mr. Partem took the best 
course ; and so long as Mr. Pampero is released, he 
can well put up with a slight blemish on his char- 
acter.” 

“ And how do you know it will be so great a 
release to him ?” asked Mrs. Pampero, sharply. 
“ Sometimes I wonder whether — ” 

A knock was heard at the door, and Mrs. Trev- 
ellyn entered. 

“ What are you two conspiring about f ’ she asked. 
“You have your heads together in a way that 
argues all kinds of crime : arson, treason, and the 
entire list. Hush, I came to warn you — ” 

Mrs. Pampero started and looked guilty. “ That 
my husband is coming !” she had on the tip of her 
tongue. 

‘ ‘ Something that is truly awful. What is the most 
terrible infliction you. can imagine, Mr. Axel?” 
asked Mrs. Trevellyn. 

“That Mr. Pampero isn’t coming,” was on the 
tip of poor Mr. Axel’s tongue. But with a sigh he 
saved himself. “I suppose you mean the hop 
that’s to take place next week,” he said instead. 

“ How did you guess it ?” from Mrs. Trevellyn. 

“ Oh, I’ve felt it was coming for the past two 
days, in my bones. That’s why I’ve been so dull 
and dejected as to call forth your reproof, ladies. 
Life would be so pleasant were it not for its pleas- 
ures !” 

“ At all events, you will have to put in an appear- 


PARADISE. 


97 


ance,” said Mrs. Trevellyn. “ He must dance with 
ns 5 must he not, Mrs. Pampero — if only because he 
affects to dislike it so. I always tell him to be 
is gone out of fashion. Only second-rate club 
men are hlase now.” 

Mr. Axel rose. Well, ladies, I have an engage- 
ment, and I leave my reputation in your hands. 
Don’t be too hard on me ; leave me just enough 
character to carry me comfortably through the re- 
mainder of my existence. Not much is required 
nowadays, I know ; but I need a little, and I want 
that little long.” 

“ It may be a mark of hlasedom^ but I’ve arrived 
at the conclusion,” he muttered to himself as he 
abruptly left the room, that comfort is the only 
pleasure. I’ll be doubly dee’d if I can stand those 
two women much longer.” 

Th^ next time Mr. Axel saw her, Mrs. Trevellyn 
was in great good-humor. Consequently he knew 
she had not forgotten his somewhat hasty exit. 

Ha ! ha !” she laughed, “ isn’t it delicious ?” 

Axel shuddered. 

‘^Why, I think it’s the most delicious thing I 
ever heard of, this reason Mrs. Pampero gives for 
her divorce. I must really thank you for your kind 
offices in bringing such a remarkable case to my 
knowledge. By the way, what kind of a man is 
Mr. Pampero ^ He’s fairly rolling in millions, is he 
not 

‘‘I’m sure I can’t tell you,” said Axel, stilfiy. 
“ I suppose his wealth is rated on ’change.” 

“ Then what kind of a man is he morally, intellect- 
ually, and physically — is he really the superior 
being his fond wife imagines ?” 


98 


PARADISE. 


Superior to whom ? Give me any one to meas- 
ure him by and I’ll answer as carefully as I can ; 
he’s superior to some men, I suppose,” and there 
was a slight stress on the some.” 

Mrs. Trevellyn marked it down in her mental note- 
book. 

“ Superior to the average man,” she explained. 

Well, I don’t think he’s inferior to the average 
man.” 

Mr. Axel, you’re answering evasively. Mrs. 
Pampero told me enough of the case the other day 
for me to divine the mysterious cause of your 
attachment to her.” 

Mr. Axel never changed color. 

‘‘ Oh, Axel, Axel, where will you land? You’re 
so odd ! I’m sometimes lost in conjecture whether 
you’re a genius or only a simpleton.” 

“ All geniuses are simpletons, are they not ?” he 
asked. 

“ But not all simpletons are geniuses.” 

‘‘ True ; I began my career as a simpleton, and 
have become a genius by my bitter experiences, 
perhaps. / Do you remember, Mrs. Trevellyn, what 
a simpleton I was once? Oh, I was very simple 
then,” he continued, in the same w^ell-measured 
accents ; everything was bright— as it only is to 
simpletons. Everything was in its proper focus. 
The sad seemed very sad, and the bright seemed 
very bright. I was not so odd then as you suggest 
I am now.” 

‘‘Axel, you’re posing for what you are not. 
What right have you to wrap yourself in a cloak of 
moral eccentricity, and hold yourseK aloof from 
other men ? You have wealth, vast wealth. Why 


PARADISE. 


99 


don’ t you spend it ? Why, a mere yachting life, a 
sporting life, a vicious life is better than the life 
you lead.” 

Mr. Axel looked at her with that peculiar smile. 

Perhaps I’ve grown parsimonious in my old age, 
and am falling back on the ‘ gentlemanly vice of 
avarice.’ ” 

‘‘Axel, do you know I sometimes shudder when 
I think of you.” 

“ Then don’t think of me,” he answered. 

“But I can’t help it when I see you throwing 
yourself away on a woman like this.” 

“ A man can’t throw himself away twice,” he re- 
plied ; “ there’s nothing left of himself to throw.” 

“ But you ought — ” 

“ Stop there — that word explains it in a nutshell. 
My life is made up of ‘ oughts,’ without a figure 
before it ; once there was a figure before it — your 
own ; but it’s become an ‘ought’ like that,” and he 
made the sign of an 0 with his thumb and second 
finger. “ Let’s change to some more agreeable sub- 
ject of conversation than myself. You got tired of 
it once, you know.” 

Mrs. Trevellyn uttered an exclamation of im- 
patience. 

“ But you really ought to throw over this woman. 
She makes you ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. I 
know it’s nothing but the originality of her hallu- 
cination that attracts you. It will not end weU.” 

“ But what does end well ?” 

Mrs. Trevellyn sighed, and let her chin fall on her 
hand as she contemplated him sadly. 

“ If I thought. Axel, that what you insinuate is 
true, if I thought you had ever really cared — ” 


100 


PARADISE. 


“ But I insinuate nothing, Adasa ; I only try to 
get a little passing pleasure as I go along. Great 
Heavens ! any kind of pleasure is sufficiently 
short-lived. Why should you be forever nipping 
it in the bud ^ Let me tell you what I have seen 
to-day.” 

And what have you seen to-day she asked, in 
a curiously constrained tone. 

“ Oh, I’ve seen the new Court House, and a great 
deal it is to see. I went out with my friend the 
hack-driver, who proved himself a cicerone beyond 
compare. Isn’t it odd, though the whole thing is 
admitted to have cost thrice what it ought to, every 
one seems proud of the fact.” 

Why do you tell me all this ? What do I care 
whether they’re proud of the fact or not ?” 

‘‘Ah!” he said, “can’t you see my purpose? 
Well, it’s in this way that I console myself for never 
having fulfilled one of my ambitions — namely, 
politics. I believe in giving the people something 
more for their money than the mere pride of lavish 
expenditure. But a ‘ raal reformer,’ as my friend 
the coachman assures me, would ‘ get left ’ every 
time — at least here in Paradise.” 

“ I suppose your ambition to control men is be- 
cause you have never been able to control yourself.” 

“ Not at all,” he said ; “ my ambition to control 
men is because of my failure to control women,” 
and he gave a meaning look at her. 

Yet all this talk was very sweet to her — bitter- 
sweet ; bitter that he seemed hopelessly estranged, 
and yet sweet because she thought he still could 
feel. 

And so the days went on ; he vibrating between 


PARADISE. 


101 


the old, old passion, that instinctively, as if by 
force of old familiar habit, drew him toward her, 
and the titillating intellectual puzzle that Mrs. Pam- 
pero and her fantasy presented to him. Not a very 
estimable character was his— on the contrary, a 
character in no way to be imitated. 

And yet Axel had toiled as few men had toiled — 
as few men even who are obliged to earn their daily 
bread ; for he toiled with the knowledge of un- 
doubted talents, whose very exuberance prevented 
their control. He saw men with one quarter of his 
abilities passing him every day — his friends, too ; is 
not that a bitter sight ? But he had toiled on, as 
it were, in spite of his talents, until, utterly sick 
at heart, he had let himself go.’’ 

In one sense his struggles were sublime. Looked 
at from another aspect, they were ludicrous ; and, 
alas ! greatest of all misfortunes, he was fully aware 
of his own shortcomings, and of the very contradic- 
tion of which he was the embodiment. A gentle 
cynicism is the only resource for a character such as 
his. It was a gentle cynicism, however, that never 
disclosed itself to the poor, with whom he was more 
than popular, — beloved. 


CHAPTER XYI. 

“ WiTAT is anything, after all said Mr. Axel 
enigmatically to Mrs. Pampero one evening. One 
struggles for wealth ; and when one has it, it takes 
more trouble to retain than it did tg acquire it. One 


102 


PARADISE. 


straggles for honors ; and when they come they 
pall. One straggles after some particular woman, 
and a few months afterward one turns up at Para- 
dise to get a divorce.” The words slipped out un- 
awares. He really did feel so tired of everything 
sometimes ! 

‘‘ Oh, but that’s a very wrong spirit !” said Mrs. 
Pampero, practically. “ How would the world run 
on if such ideas became general ?” 

“But what use is there for it to ran on; why 
shouldn’t it ran down ? The world is like a watch 
that an affectionate uncle once presented me with. I 
had to spend half of every hour winding it up to make 
it go the remainder. The trouble with the world is, 
you’ve always got to be winding ; but you get noth- 
ing for your pains.” 

“ Mr. Axel, I’ve heard of selfish people, but I 
really think you’re the most selfish being on the 
whole face of the earth. Just because you’re bored 
and can’t get any happiness out of life you’d like 
to see the whole pleasure of others stop too.” 

“ But whose pleasure am I stopping 

“ My pleasure ; I don’t mean pleasure — but you 
are deliberately trying to belittle the object I am 
here for ; you’re trying to make it appear useless, 
trivial. Do you know, I sometimes think you’re not 
as careless about everything as you pretend to be, 
and you only assume to despise things because you 
can’t get them.” 

“ Bravo,” said Mr. Axel ; “ you hit the nail upon 
the head this time with a vengeance. But what 
things in particular do you think I want ?” 

“ I don’t know ; you have everything but fame, 
but reputation ; perhaps that — ” 


PARADISE. 


103 


“ All ! so you didn’t leave me with any reputa- 
tion the other day when I went away and entrusted 
what little I had for safe keeping in your hands ? 
That’s what it is, Mrs. Pampero. You took away 
the little I had, and now you blame me for wanting 
it back. That’ s really like a woman — but it’ s not 
kind.” 

“ Now, don’t be a goose, Mr. Axel. I want to 
ask you something serious.” 

“ But you’re always asking something serious. 
Why don’t you ask me something easy for a 
change 

“ Well, perhaps it will be easy. I want to know 
if you don’t think it’s odd that my husband has 
never written ?” 

When the question was put to him Mr. Axel did 
think it odd. 

‘^But what could he write about, after all?” he 
asked. “ I suppose he accepted the situation as a 
fait accompli.^ ’’ 

“ I don’t know,” said Mrs. Pampero ; but he 
might have sent some little — some little — ” 

“Protest?” suggested Mr. Axel, seeing her hesi- 
tate for the proper word. 

“Yes, some little protest,” repeated Mrs. Pam- 
pero. 

“ Perhaps he feared it might influence you,” he 
observed with a smile. 

“ Tiue ; but then he might have sent it in a way 
that showed how sorry he felt, and yet— yet not 
sufiiciently imperative to have any effect — ” 

“ Mr. Pampero is of too upright and sincere a 
character to have recourse to such a stratagem,” 
objected Mr. Axel. 


104 


PARADISE. 


“Yes, and besides,” she went on, reflectively, “ he 
was never much at showing little attentions. I sup- 
pose superior people never are — I mean superior 
husbands. They have such important matters to 
attend to that they always leave one so much to 
one’s self. Oh, you can’t tell, Mr. Axel, how dull 
the evenings used to be ! Mr. Pampero despised the 
theatre and invariably went to the club, and of 
course he could not take me there. I hate superior 
hus— I mean, I hate being left to myself. Then 
the days used to be equally dull. I sometimes think 
if I had not had so much spare time on my hands I 
should never have taken the step I have. Isn’t it 
odd, though ? Doing anything from duty before 
always used to bore me. Now I haven’t had a dull 
day since I’ve been here. It’s very strange. Ah ! I 
tell you what it is,” and a sudden change came over 
Mrs. Pampero. “ Oh, Mr. Axel, I have it ; some- 
thing’s happened to my husband ! I know it, and 
I feel happy now — so that my conscience can re- 
proach me afterward and make my punishment 
complete.” 

Mr. Axel found himself at a loss for a proper reply. 

“ He’s sufiPering — something terrible has happened 
to him. Oh, Mr. Axel, do you think he could have 
committed suicide T ’ 

What could a man say under the circumstances % 
To assure her of the impossibility of her husband’ s 
having committed so rash an act would be to assure 
her that he did not take her departure sufflciently 
to heart ; nevertheless Mr. Axel did the best he 
could. 

“ I scarcely think it possible ; Mr. Pampero has 
so lofty a sense of his responsibilities, and his inter- 


PARADISE. 


105 


ests are so interwoven with those of the commnnity, 
that he would naturally hesitate before bringing 
such wide calamity upon others. Indeed, taking 
everything into consideration, I think Mr. Pampero 
is the very last man in the world to do anything so 
truly selfish as that.” 

“ I hope you are right, for when I think of any- 
thing happening to him — I mean anything that I 
could blame myself for afterward — it quite upsets 
me,” and Mrs. Pampero pressed her handkerchief 
to her eyes. ‘^But you don’t think I ought to 
blame myself, do you, even if he had ? You do 
think, on the contrary, I ought to view my conduct 
without regard to possible results % I have made a 
sacrifice, a great sacrifice, and if he doesn’t appre- 
ciate it — ” 

“ We’ll make him,” said Mr. Axel, carried away 
by his zeal. 

Mrs. Pampero’s sobs broke out. 

“ Thanks, thanks,” she said. Why can’t you 
always be like this, instead of trying to discourage 
me as you do ?” 

‘‘ Trying to discourage you !” 

‘‘ Yes ; you make everything appear so aimless, 
you rob me of all satisfaction and pride in what I 
have done. You take aU the spirit for anything 
out of me.” 

Great Heavens !” he exclaimed, with genuine 
contrition. I’m extremely sorry.” 

‘‘You said there was nothing real in life. You 
said everything serious was ri-ridiculous, and every- 
thing ridiculous was sad. You said you didn’t 
believe in anything. Oh, tell me you do believe in 
something !” 


106 


PARADISE. 


‘‘ I believe in everything,” he added, with catho- 
licity. “ There’s not a single thing I don’t believe 
in, of any kind or description in the sun, the moon, 
the earth, or the waters under the earth.” 

‘‘You know you were killing me by inches when 
you kept saying all those horrible things. I often 
wished I were dead — dead — dead — ” and Mrs. Pam- 
pero’s highly strained feelings suddenly overpow- 
ered her, and dropping her head upon her hands, 
she came so near to falling that Mr. Axel was 
obliged to catch her quickly in his arms. 


CHAPTER XYII. 

The French have a wise proverb that the unex- 
pected is sure to happen. If we add to this that the 
unexpected always happens at the wrong moment 
the statement is complete. Mr. Axel had caught 
her in his arms, and finding consolation necessary, 
was pouring into her ear the deep regret he really 
felt, when he was disturbed by sudden footsteps. 

They were in the large, bare parlor— in a corner of 
it ; and there had been no one else in the room. Xot 
the most appropriate place for such a tender little 
episode ; but as it was impromptu, he had not 
selected it. On the contrary, the situation had been 
thrust upon him ; and my only apology for him is 
that under the same circumstances you would have 
done the same thing too. He heard the sound of 
sudden steps, I say, — more than this, he sees the 
half-turned-dovTi gas suddenly flare upward, and 


PARADISE. 


107 


as he pulls himself together he hears the name of 
Mr.* Pampero” announced in stentorian tones. 
****** 

What bores waiters are, — hotel waiters ; never 
coming when they are wanted— always at your back 
when they are not needed — turning up the gas when 
it really ought to be down, and turning it down 
when you expect to come in late. The only people 
equally provoking are clock-winders. They, too, 
are always entering at the wrong moment, stolid, 
imperturbable ; and the worst of it is that you never 
can tell by their faces how much they have seen. 

Mr. Axel was a man who always rose to an emer- 
gency — when that emergency was sufficiently great. 
Mr. Axel felt the present situation to be worthy of 
his efforts, and braced himself to meet it like a man. 

He looked up carelessly, but with a feeling of re- 
lief he saw a large green shade over the new-comer’s 
eyes. Behind Mr. Pampero, just entering the room, 
was a lady, and near the lady was a waiter turning 
on the gas ; happily his back was turned. 

Mrs. Pampero took in the situation quite as in- 
stantaneously as Mr. Axel. She, too, looked up, and 
suddenly stayed her tears. She, too, rose equal to 
the emergency, for she rose from the sofa, and 
throwing herself into her husband’s arms — Oh, 
George, oh, George, we were just speaking of you ; 
have you really come at last ?” Then turning from 
him, but with equal effusiveness to her sister, — 
‘‘And Becky, too — this, indeed, is kind !” she car- 
ried that young lady back out of the room with the 
precipitancy of her delighted welcome, and left the 
two gentlemen to settle the matter face to face as 
best they could. 


108 


PARADISE. 


Mr. Axel, as we have said, rose equal to the emer- 
gency. Brief as was the warning, his mind had hit 
upon the proper course. Mr. Pampero’s opening 
words, however, changed his entire plan of defence. 

Well, sir, and where’s your hoary-headed old 
father ?” he asked. 

My father !” exclaimed Mr. Axel, naturally sur- 
prised. ‘‘ Why, my father is salmon-fishing up in 
Canada.” 

Oh, in Canada, eh ? Skipped already, and left 
you behind to hold the fort ?” 

‘‘I don’t know what you mean, sir,” said Mr. 
Axel, with dignity ; “ but if you’ve got anything 
against my father I am here— m loco parentis — to 
answer.” 

Mr. Axel brought in the Latin purposely. It was 
cool, and had a classical ring that was well calcu- 
lated to tranquillize. 

Do you mean to tell me your father didn’t in- 
veigle my wife here 

‘‘ I mean to tell you my father has not seen your 
wife since she left home.” 

‘‘ Then there’s been some huge mistake,” and Mr. 
Pampero let himself fall heavily into a chair. He 
required time to collect his thoughts ; having pre- 
pared a violent protest against the father, he found 
it scarcely applicable to the son. 

“Well, this quite upsets me,” he exclaimed at 
last — “ quite upsets me. Oh, sir. I’ve had a hell of 
a — I mean an awful time getting here. Strike after 
strike — and the last one square upon the head. 
Look at my eyes, sir ; you will do me a particular 
favor, sir, if you will notice how swollen they are. 
I was mistaken, sir, for a Communist — and with un- 


PARADISE. 


109 


heard-of brutality I was almost beaten to a jelly 
before my sister-in-law could explain. But, sir, I 
am getting off the track. I am forgetting myself, 
sir. If your father didn’t elope with my wife, you 
did.” 

“ Circumstances may look that way, but if you 
will only listen I can explain them, -sir, to your 
entire satisfaction.” 

‘‘But I won’t listen, and you shan’t explain. 
Why, sir, what doubt can there be on the subject ? 
I even find you together here with the gas half 
turned down and suspiciously — I say suspiciously 
— close together. Now, sir, I don’t believe in alter- 
cations in hotel parlors. But since my wife evi- 
dently prefers your society to mine, she is free to 
follow her tastes. I resign her to you freely — she 
is yours, sir. Don’t shoot, sir, don’t shoot — I am 
merely getting out my pocket-handkerchief.” 

This sudden exhortation was called forth by Mr. 
Axel’s starting back, less in reality because Mr. 
Pampero happened at the moment to put his hand 
suspiciously in his rear pocket, than by reason of 
the horror the situation now presented. To have 
Mrs. Pampero forever as a legacy on his hands was 
worse than any pistol at his breast, and was carry- 
ing (JCnsistency farther than he had bargained 
for. 

“ Mr. Pampero,” he said at last, “ you fail, I am 
sorry to see, to realize the situation. The whole 
secret of your wife’s conduct is that she considers 
you superior to her — so superior that she despairs 
of ever being worthy of you. She considers you a 
paragon of all the virtues ; a Napoleon of finance, 
a very pattern among men. She respects and re- 


110 


PARADISE. 


veres you, sir, to a degree that falls little short of 
infatuation.” 

“ I don’t see, sir,” said Mr. Pampero, indig- 
nantly, “ that it’s infatuation for a woman to esteem 
her husband, sir.” 

“ I am speaking of over-esteem.” 

Then perhaps you will kindly inform me what 
over-esteem may be. Great Scott!” he continued, 
carried along by the increasing momentum of his 
passion, ‘ ^ the idea of my calmly submitting to 
your laying down the law in what estimation my 
wife, sir, my own wife, should hold me.” 

Mr. Pampero, you do me a wrong ; you are try- 
ing to place the son of your oldest and warmest 
friend in a false position. He has inherited the 
esteem his father bears you, and will not suffer his 
conduct to be thus misinterpreted. I came to pro- 
tect rather than to injure your wife.” 

And you made it a part of this protection to 
take her in your arms 

‘‘ My arms went out spasmodically to catch her, 
I will not deny. Would you have me allow her to 
fall to the floor, Mr. Pampero ?” 

‘‘ But why should she be falling about the floors, 
sir ? She never used to fall about when I had her 
in keeping.” 

She fell, sir, because she was overcome by a 
rumor that had just reached her ear,” and Mr. Axel, 
who had been really feeling his way, hit upon 
an explanation that only the peculiar circumstances 
of the case would have palliated or excused. 

‘‘ And what rumor might that have been ?” 

‘‘ Why, simply the rumor of your death, which I 
am glad to perceive was unfounded.” 


PARADISE. 


Ill 


‘‘ It’s a d qneer case ; to be sure I was almost 

killed.” 

“It is a queer case,” replied Mr. Axel, “but 
truth is stranger than fiction. Now, Mr. Pampero,” 
he continued, “ I have told you the whole story ; if 
you are incapable of believing it, my hereditary 
friendship will not prevent my resenting the slur. 
Neither do / believe in hotel altercations ; but, Mr. 
Pampero, when a man’s word is doubted there is 
but one recourse among gentlemen. A man who 
fights a duel nowadays becomes either an outlaw or 
a laughing-stock, I know ; but there are occasions, 
Mr. Pampero” (removing a card from his silver card- 
case), “ so if you refuse to believe my story, I must 
be under the painful necessity of presenting you 
with this.” 

Mr. Pampero changed color. He was a discreet 
man. • 

“ Perhaps I’ve gone too far, my young sir ; I am 
not a man to refuse to hear an explanation merely 
because my wife is concerned. Indeed, I think I 
ham gone too far. You explain an equivocal situ- 
ation to my entire satisfaction. Now, perhaps I 
can’t do better than go up-stairs and talk it all over 
with my wife.” 

“ You certainly cannot,” said Mr. Axel. 

Mr. Pampero rose, and had even got near the door 
when he returned. “ I believe I owe you an apol- 
ogy, my dear sir.” 

“ Not at all,” replied Mr. Axel. “ I have merely 
acted as any other high-principled man would have 
done.” 

“ On the contrary, I owe you three apologies. 
You will do me a particular, a very particular favor 


112 


PARADISE. 


to accept them. One on yonr father’s account, the 
second for misconstruing your attentions to my 
wife, and the third for interrupting you so abruptly 
as I did. I owe you, indeed, sir, a deep, an over- 
whelming gratitude, now that I come to view the 
matter in its true light. Your hand, sir. By the 
way, sir” — this as if seeking to make a meet return 
— ‘‘ do you take as much interest as your father 
does in railroad matters V’ 

^Yell, sometimes,” said Mr. Axel, cautiously. 

‘‘ Then, my friend, let me suggest that the busi- 
ness of the roads leading into Paradise is enormously 
on the increase. Buy a thousand shares of Almon- 
dew Northern, and hold them for a rise.” 

Mr. Axel started as the Dismal Man’s story re- 
curred to his memory. ‘‘ Thanks, thanks,” he said 
with genuine gratitude, ‘‘I’ll remember it.” 

Then Mr. Pampero retired, and Mr. Axel collapsed 
in a state of utter prostration on the sofa. 


CHAPTER XYIII. 

Strange as it may seem, the very first person Axel 
next morning encountered was the Dismal Man him- 
self, going in to breakfast. 

“ I suppose you’re glad to see me back,” he said 
affably, stopping and shaking hands. 

“ I really wasn’t aware you had been absent,” was 
Mr. Axel’s somewhat guileful answer, for he reaUy 
had missed him, in “ sober sadness.” 

“ Oh, yes ; been away for a week, and arrived at 


PARADISE. 


113 


the hotel last night only five minutes before Mr. 
Pampero. By the way, what’s become for? To 
stop the proceedings ?” 

‘‘ Really,” exclaimed Mr. Axel, with dignity, 

you interest yourself strangely in the affairs of 
others.” 

‘‘Yes,” was the reply, “ I always do. By the 
way, he brought a lady with him. Have you seen 
her yet? A perfect little tart!” and the Dismal 
Man threw a kiss with the tips of his fingers into 
the air. “ I suppose you don’t mind my sitting 
next you at the table this morning ?” he continued, 
more soberly, as Axel turned into the breakfast- 
room. “ I was saying to myself that now that Mr. 
Pampero had arrived your little party might be 
broken up.” 

This was intolerable ! Why, after all, should he 
fall to the lot of the Dismal Man ? 

Mrs. Trevellyn, however, usually took her matu- 
tinal cup of coffee in her own room, and he was 
really undecided whether, under the circumstances, 
he should sit with Mr. and Mrs. Pampero, if they 
should come to breakfast. Besides, -the ordeal of 
the previous evening left him quite incapable of re- 
senting the proposal of the Dismal Man with the 
spirit it deserved. 

“Yes,” continued that gentleman, drawing up 
his chair beside his, “ I can’t help interesting myself 
in all these people. Some of them have such ex- 
traordinary motives for being here ! There’s Mrs. 
Trevellyn, for instance. Of course you know why 
they say she’s applying to the courts.” 

“Mrs. Trevellyn is a very particular friend of 
mine,” observed Axel, pointedly. 


114 


PARADISE. 


Exactly — a very old friend. Friendship dating 
back some time, eh ? But there are other ladies 
here with more extraordinary motives than even 
she has.” 

‘‘ What do you mean, sir ?” 

‘‘ Why, they say that that new-comer down there, 
Mrs. Margarine Oleo, has merely come for social pres- 
tige. There’ s nothing like a slight flavor of scandal 
for helping one on in ^^^^^er-fashionable life. It’s 
English, you know, quite English,” and the Dismal 
Man laughed as if he had said a very neat thing. 

I don’t care whether it’s English or not, but it’s 

d offensive to me, sir, the line your conversation 

has taken.” Mr. Axel seldom swore ; there were 
occasions, however, when he could not help him- 
self. 

‘ ‘ But think of the cause I have to comment on all 
this business. Did I ever tell you, sir, of my bitter, 
bitter experiences ? Oh, such a beaut — sir, lunches 
at Delmonico’s, going to the races in a three- 
quarter — ” 

‘‘You did, sir ; you have told it to me ad nauseam. 
Now, for Heaven’s sake allow me to begin my break- 
fast ! It takes away my appetite — it does, I assure 
you, merely to have to listen to you.” 

“ Only answer me one more question, then, and I 
promise you it shall be the last.” 

“What is it?” asked Mr. Axel, with a sigh of 
expected relief. 

“ Did he advise your investing in any particular 
stock ?” 

Mr. Axel said nothing, for the appearance at this 
very moment of Mr. Pampero himself spared him 
the necessity of a reply. 


PARADISE. 


115 


Mr. Pampero was indeed entering the dining- 
room with his wife, and with a solemnity of manner 
that was rendered doubly impressive by their being 
linked arm in arm. On the other side of Mrs. Pam- 
pero walked Miss Kebecca quite demurely. 

Great Scott !” said the Dismal Man, taking in 
the situation at a glance, ‘‘ but this will be nuts for 
the Pilgrims !” and nuts indeed it was, for a flutter 
of bewildered astonishment went through the large 
room. Mrs. John Q. Ferrible put up her glasses ; 
then leant over and whispered to Captain Hilton 
Tilton ; and then Mr. Axel became disagreeably 
aware that after scanning the new-comers they 
all concentrated their attention upon him. 

Indeed, the entrance once becoming generally 
known, he found himself the target of every eye. 

There was but one course. It was hard, unques- 
tionably hard ; but it carried with it the consolation 
that he would thus escape from the Dismal Man 
beside him. 

Mr. Axel walked over and Joined the trio. 

Mr. Pampero received him with a half familiar, 
half majestic wave of the hand. Mr. Axel— Miss 
Kebecca Garland,’’ he said, presenting them in 
proper style. ‘‘Mrs. Pampero— Mr. Axel — oh, 
you’re acquainted— I forgot — sit down, sir, sit down. 
I insist upon your sitting down.” Mr. Axel did as 
requested, Mrs. Pampero flushed scarlet, and Miss 
Kebecca flashed at him eyes of deepest scorn. After 
all, it wasn’ t so bad ! This would make a famous 
scene for his book, and he proceeded to photograph 
Miss Kebecca in his mind, so as to bring her in 
effectively at the proper moment. 

“ Will you begin on cherries ?” It was Mr. Pam- 


116 


PARADISE. 


pero that spoke. ‘‘You will do me a great, a very 
particular favor, sir, if you will take some.” 

“I will take some cherries to oblige you, Mr. 
Pampero, but I will not eat any cherries,” said Mr. 
Axel, suavely. 

“ But you must eat them,” said Mr. Pampero. 
“ Why, sir, will you not eat cherries ?” 

There was a certain constraint over all the party, 
and whether because of this or the expression of 
scorn in Miss Rebecca’s eyes, his spirits rose to 
meet the emergency. It fell to him to bring them 
all around to good humor. 

“ There’s a college at Oxford,” he said, “ where I 
once passed a few days with a friend. The name of 
the college is All Souls, and the test of admittance 
to it, though it’s not generally known, is cherry 
tart.” 

“ Cherry tart !” exclaimed Mrs. Pampero, with 
more of her old manner, “ why, how funny !” 

“ Of course, they have more serious examinations ; 
but cherry tart is the real criterion.” 

Miss Rebecca still looked scornful, but with her 
scornfulness was now blended an expression of in- 
credulity. 

“You see. All Souls j)rides itself on its manners ; 
and the quintessence of good manners All Souls con- 
siders to inhere in the proper treatment of a cherry 
tart. If the unhappy aspirant for admission puts 
the pits back in his plate. All Souls says he is a 
boor. If he swallows them it says he is a fool.” 

“ Why, what can he do with them, then f ’ cried 
Mrs. Pampero. 

“ Why, he must pass the dish, as I did Mr. Pam- 
pero’s ” 


PARADISE. 


117 


Then the ladies laughed, and conversation became 
general. 

Cherries are great aids to the digestion,” said 
Mr. Pampero, with stolid solemnity. “ I don’t 
know as I told you, sir, Miss Garland and myself 
were detained by the strikes ” (what connection there 
was between cherries and strikes Mr. Pampero failed 
to explain). “ Have you ever witnessed a strike, sir 

Mr. Axel expressed his regret that his experience 
had not lain in that line. 

“ They are ruining this country, sir. The sun of 
American liberty will set, sir, in strikes.” 

“ Come, ISTellie,” said Miss Rebecca, gayly taking 
her sister by the arm ; ‘‘ when Gobbie gets on those 
strikes, it’s time for us to Boycott him.” 

Then the ladies rose, and Miss Rebecca for the 
first time showed Mr. Axel those lovely rows of 
pearls in a smile that amply repaid him for her 
former scornfulness. So sweet was ‘it that, as if by 
force of habit, the ingenuous young man was about 
to follow the ladies out, when Mr. Pampero de- 
tained him by laying his hand heavily on his thigh ; 
consequently he sat down again. 

‘‘It’s extremely annoying,” Mr. Pampero re- 
sumed, “ but I’ve talked over the whole matter with 
my wife, and she absolutely r^ifuses, sir, to stop 
these proceedings, I^ow, sir, I’m not a superior 
man at all.” 

“ Of course not,” agreed Mr. Axel, civilly. 

“ I don’t mean to say I’m an inferior man,” con- 
tinued Mr. Pampero, annoyed at this ready compli- 
ance with the denial of his superiority. “ Indeed, 
many people have considered me an able man, sir, 
an able man. I’m a self-made man, sir. But what 


118 


PARADISE. 


I mean,’’ continued Mr. Pam]3ero, “is that I don’t 
possess the degree of superiority necessary to make 
my wife’s conduct logical. Are you attending, sir 1 
Do you see the delicacy of the point ? N ow what, 
under the circumstances, would you suggest V ’ 

“ How would it do to go talk over the matter with 
Mr. Partem?” said Mr. Axel, weakly shifting the 
responsibility. 

“ The very thing, sir. I hadn’t thought of that. 
Will you accompany me, sir ? We can smoke as we 
go along.” 


CHAPTER XIX. 

Mr. Partem was at home ; indeed, Mr. Partem 
was seldom out of his office. He received the gentle- 
men with the urbanity that distinguished him. 

“I’ve come, sir,” observed Mr. Pampero, after 
the proper introductions had been made, “ to ask 
your advice.” 

Mr. Partem put his left hand under his coat-tails 
and his right reflectively on his chin. 

“I’ve come to ask your advice, sir, about stopping 
these proceedings.” 

Mr. Partem looked dubious, if not unhappy. 

“ It is possible to stop them, is it not, sir ?” asked 
Mr. Pampero, noticing this doubtfulness. 

“Yes, it’s possible,” hesitated Mr. Partem, “but 
would it be quite advisable? You see, Mr. Pam- 
pero, we lawyers here have a little professional 
rivalry as to who can secure the greatest number of 
favorable verdicts in the year. Of course it is not 


PARADISE. 


119 


for tliat alone, but I don’t think it would be really 
quite advisable, all the same.” 

“You mean advisable for your own business inter- 
ests,” said Mr. Pampero, hotly. “How about 
mine?” 

“ But would it be advisable from your standpoint ? 
Granted that this is an hallucination of your wife’s, 
will it destroy this hallucination to stop the suit ? 
Were I convinced such would be the case, I assure 
you, Mr. Pampero, I would make the sacrifice,” and 
Mr. Partem spoke with an air of generous mag- 
nanimity quite overwhelming. “ Let me ask, how- 
ever, have the circumstances altered ?” 

Mr. Pampero was obliged to confess that they had 
not. 

“ Don’t you think, then, that it would be better 
to try and alter Mrs. Pampero’s state of mind before 
talking of stopping the suit ?” 

“But how can it be altered?” asked Mr. Pam- 
pero, in a dejected tone. 

Mr. Partem stroked his chin. “ Couldn’t you 
show her that, after all, you are nothing but com- 
mon clay ? I speak in metaphor, Mr. Pampero, — 
show her that you really do not stand on the lofty 
pinnacle where she has fondly placed you. I have 
observed, sir^ — and my business gives me great in- 
sight into women’s nature,— that ninety-nine hun- 
dredths of their troubles spring from jealousy ; 
dyspepsia accounts for the rest. JSTow, I don’t wish 
to influence you or to lead you astray, but is there 
no lady of your acquaintance who would enter into 
a little harmless deception, and thus arouse the 
dormant jealousy of your wife ? That, sir, might 
possibly bring her to her senses.” 


120 


PARADISE. 


“ There’s Becky — I mean my sister-in-law,” said 
Mr. Pampero, contemplatively. “ I wouldn’t mind 
it if she didn’t.” 

‘‘ A sister-in-law The very thing, sir ! Capital, 
capital ! IN'othing could be better for such a pur- 
pose than a sister-in-law !” 

She’s on the ground, too, and I might begin at 
once,” said Mr. Pampero. K it worked, you 
know, it might prevent the necessity of continuing 
the suit.” 

“ I would not move too quickly,” replied Mr. 
Partem, with a sudden relapse of caution. “ Take 
my advice, sir, and go slowly. What does the poet 
say, Mr. Pampero? Festina lente, festina lente^^'" 
and Mr. Partem bowed his visitors out. 

“ Well, you ham got yourself into a nice box,” 
laughingly said Mrs. Trevellyn to Mr. Axel on his 
return from Mr. Partem’ s. “You always did aspire 
to celebrity ; you’ve got it now with a vengeance. 
The same old difficulty, though, Yarian. You be- 
gan this affair in sober earnest, but it seems des- 
tined to wind up in a perfect blaze of buffoonery.” 
She had a paper in her hands, and Mr. Axel took it 
from her. 

“Divorce circles” — Mr. Axel shuddered — “Di- 
vorce circles,” he read, “ were thrown into spasms 
of excitement last evening by the arrival of Mr. 
Pampero, the well-known banker, who, it is said, 
has come to investigate the proceedings his wife has 
begun against him. It is feared that this sudden 
incursion of the enemy will interfere with the 
charming little by-play that has been lately going 
on between the fair grass-widow and Mr. Y-r-n 
A-x-1, the ingenuous son of his father, the railroad 


PAKADISE. 


121 


magnate. Hints are thrown out that they were dis- 
turbed by the indignant husband during a tender 
episode in the hotel parlor : nerhum sajp?'' 

Mr. Axel . crushed the paper in his list and threw 
it to the ground. 

Let’s look under the head of ‘Distinguished 
People,’ ” continued the tormentress, picking up 
the sheet. 

“The President entertained the Siamese Ambas- 
sadors last evening at dinner.” 

“ John L. Sullivan knocked out his man in two 
minutes and forty seconds.” 

“ The ingenuous Mr. Yarian Axel, at present so- 
journing, for reasons best known to himself, in town, 
has ‘ pink nails.’ ” 

“ Oh, Yarian, some are bom to celebrity, others 
make their celebrity, and still others again have 
celebrity thrust upon them. ‘ Divorce circles ’ is 
good, is it not % Let me look at your nails.” 

“ Well,” ejaculated Mr. Axel, grimly, “I’m in the 
same column with the President. Fame and notori- 
ety are pretty close neighbors I have always thought. 
Mr. John L. Sullivan is a masher in one way ; I sup- 
pose it only remains to add that I’m one in another 
sense, though I detest the expression.” 

Mr. Axel attempted to turn it off lightly, but 
Mrs. Trevellyn well knew the secret torture that his 
publicity brought him. She “ owed him one” — she 
owed him several “ ones,” but particularly because 
on her advent he did not fall down and worship her 
again. Some women are like that ; they require a 
man to be tied to them by a little elastic string, and 
even after they have themselves severed it, he must 
snap back to them aU the same. 


122 


PARADISE. 


Mr. Axel had had all the snap taken out of him 
long ago ; he could snap back to no one. The pub- 
licity that had now come upon him made his posi- 
tion the more intolerable. The continuation of Mrs. 
Pampero’s suit implied a continuation of his disin- 
terested advice to her, and the civility of her hus- 
band, pompous as it was, demanded civility in 
turn. 

How would it all end if he stayed ? he wondered. 
Would he have both of these women on his hands ? 
And as he reflected how narrow had been his escape 
from having one of them on his hands, a cold 
shudder passed over him, and he determined to 
quit Paradise at once. 


CHAPTER XX. 

We have said that Yarian Axel had decided to 
quit Paradise at once. He had even called for his 
bill, and was actually only just returning from the* 
office to give certain instructions about his baggage, 
when he encountered Miss Rebecca Garland in the 
hall alone. 

“ I should like a few moments’ conversation with 
you, ’ ’ said that young lady. He followed her meekly 
into the large drawing-room. 

‘‘ Kindly sit down there,” she said. 

“Wouldn’t anywhere else do?” he asked, look- 
ing with natural hesitation at a certain sofa. 

“ Xo, it will not ; you must sit down there and 
he sat himself down as on a stool of repentance. 


PARADISE. 


123 


“ IN’ow,” she said, turning upon him with a seri- 
ousness that forbade any escape, “ why have you 
brought all this trouble on us 

Mr. Axel started back in amazement. Heretofore 
he had looked upon himself as the most injured of 
mortals, and his whole course as one of the most 
praiseworthy character. 

I — I scarcely know what you mean, Miss Gar- 
land.” 

“But you must know,” she continued ; “ aren’t 
you heartily ashamed of yourself 

“ Well, if you say I ought to be, I will be,” he 
answered. 

“You are directly responsible for the extraor- 
dinary conduct of my sister. She has told me 
enough to convince me that she would never have 
left her home had it not been for you.” 

“ Then I’m off at once, and will let her return,” 
said Mr. Axel, weakly. 

“ I suppose you really are unkind enough to 
make off after all the mischief is done.” 

“What would you have me do, then?” he ex- 
claimed. “ I am ready for anything you suggest.” 

“ Very well, then ; I will take you at your word. 
You must stay to disillusion my sister.” 

“ Stay to disillusion your sister ! Well, that’s 
the most original request I ever heard. It’s not 
very flattering either ; but if you say I am to stay, 
stay I will. I’m beyond caring. Miss Garland, I 
swear I am.” 

Becky looked at him more attentively. “ What 
was your motive, after all?” she asked. “I can 
hardly conceive it to have been one of ordinary con- 
quest.” 


124 


PARADISE. 


Mr. Axel was actually on tlie point of making 
a full confession. Something delayed him, how- 
ever, something that he could not explain ; per- 
haps shyness, perhaps weakness, perhaps vacilla- 
tion. 

“ How can I disillusion her he inquired instead. 

“ Try to show yourself in your true colors. ’ ’ This 
was a home-thrust. 

For thirty-three years. Miss Garland, I’ve been 
trying to find out what my true colors are.” 

“ Then let me assist you : your true color is 
black.” 

Oh, but not so black as you imagine. Even the 
devil is now admitted to be sometimes less black 
than he’s painted. Couldn’t you give me a little 
whitewash now, just to atone for your past se- 
verity and Mr. Axel spoke with a playful winsome- 
ness that usually took wonderfully with women ; but 
it did not succeed here. 

“ Mr. Axel, your error is weakness. When I said 
black, I said so because black is supposed to be a 
combination of all the colors.” 

‘‘ On the contrary, white is the combination you 
mean.” 

Miss Garland paid no attention to the correction. 

I don’t mean to say she’s in love with you,” she 
continued, ‘‘on the contrary ; 'l)ut she 'thinks she 
has been acting with your approval, and she deems 
your approval* to be of far greater worth than it 
really is.” 

Mr. Axel laughed out loud at the incongruity. 

“ I think my best course, then, would be to go, 
after all ; things would be so terribly mixed if I 
stayed.” 


PARADISE. 


125 


Never mind, you will stay,” said Miss Rebecca ; 
and stay Mr. Axel did. 

****** 

To stay and show one’ s self in one’ s true colors in 
order to “ disillusion” a remarkably bright and at- 
tractive woman seems at first sight a less agreeable 
task than to fortify one’s consistency by stopping 
close to her. 

There was something ludicrous in the situation, 
too, but was it less so than to bolt and to show the 
world that one had been ignominiously routed by 
the family phalanx ? Besides, there was something 
bracing and healthy about Miss Rebecca, something 
far different from the sickly sentimentality that 
marked one side of Mrs. Pampero’ s character and 
the meretricious charms of Mrs. Trevellyn. Then 
Miss Rebecca thought him a gay Lothario ; but he 
was far superior to other gay Lotharios in one re- 
spect. He fondly considered the emotions he in- 
spired in women’s breasts to be as fieeting as those 
inspired in his own by them. 

Nevertheless when he came to think over it, he 
really regretted that he had so weakly consented to 
remain. It was all very well of Miss Rebecca to 
advise him to stay and disillusion Mrs. Pampero, 
but suppose she shouldn’t ‘‘ disillusion.” There 
was Mrs. Trevellyn, too ; how Avould he manage 
about her ? A stern and relentless fate was drawing 
him nearer both these ladies than, when he came to 
think of it, he cared to be. Suppose they both 
were relieved of their marital encumbrances, what 
would happen then ? That terrible suggestion of 
Mr. Pampero’s recurred again and again to his 
memory. Having both on his hands would be two- 


1:^6 


PAllADISE. 


fold worse. Besides^ how complicated it was all 
becoming ! He pursuing the role sketched out by 
Miss Rebecca, Mr. Pampero pursuing the role 
sketched out by Mr. Partem, Mrs. Pampero pur- 
suing the role sketched out by herself ! 

Confound it ; when he came to think of it, he 
resented the idea of this great coarse calf paying 
attention to Miss Rebecca, even in artifice, and he 
walked out into the noisy street. He was still turn- 
ing over these various thoughts in his mind, mingled 
with the disagreeable recollection of that last 
meeting with Mrs. Trevellyn, when he became aware 
of a crowd in front of him, and on looking up per- 
ceived that their gaze was directed to a house on the 
other side of the way. The windows on the second 
story were open, and from one of these a long canvas 
funnel or bag like the windsail of a steamer hung 
suspended to the ground. His first impression was 
that the house was on fire, but the conduct of the 
crowd below, their laughter and their jokes, as well 
as the actions of those at the windows, contradicted 
this impression as soon as entertained. 

What’s the matter ?” he demanded of a gentle- 
man next him. 

‘‘ Oh, it’s an improved fire-escape they’re trying 
to make the city buy.” And then Mr. Axel became 
aware that the amusement of the people was caused 
by the apparent difficulty of the inventor to secure the 
services of any one to make the first trial of his ma- 
chine. At last, however, a probable confederate in 
the person of a stout woman volunteered in the 
interests of humanity to make the experiment, and 
going up into the house, appeared again at the win- 
dow amid loud plaudits from below. To enter the 


PARADISE. 


127 


mouth of the contrivance was a matter of no little 
difficulty, but at last it was successfully accom- 
plished, and the descent began. Mr. Axel, whose 
interest was deeply excited, watched the canvas 
folds oscillating and distending themselves as her 
person sank downward, like those of a huge snake 
that had taken too large a swallow. At last about 
midway she stopped. A moment of breathless sus- 
pense followed, while unmistakable evidences were 
seen of struggling within. 

‘‘ Five dollars for any one to start her with,” cried 
the inventor, excitedly waving his hands from the 
window, and a small but interested spectator was 
snatched from his quiet enjoyment of the spectacle 
and triumphantly borne up-stairs. 

‘‘Why don’t he start her with hisself?” remon- 
strated the youth ; but as the struggles midway 
down still continued, his reluctance was quickly 
overcome when he was forced into the canvas ; then 
dropping out of sight as through a trap-door, he 
reappeared at the other end of the bag, preceded by 
the lady, with a suddenness as startling as it was 
welcome. A loud shout went up for the inventor 
as Axel turned away. 

After all, where was his escape from his diffi- 
culties ? No patent invention could save him. He 
was like a tender youth thrust into that cruel bag 
by Miss Eebecca, and without a promise of any 
outlet ; more like a cul-de-sac than an ordinary 
sack was the bag he was placed in, and it was made 
of a material less pliant than canvas. He stopped 
and looked back at the house, and as he looked a 
mode of deliverance unexpectedly occurred to him. 
There was a roundness, too, a perfection of simi)lic- 


128 


PARADISE. 


ity about it that charmed him the more he thought 
of it, and the escape for himself shone out round 
and clear. 

Circumstances besides were propitious, and he 
recollected for the first time, with secret pleasure, 
that the long-promised hotel hop was to take place 
to-night. It offered, at all events, an opportunity 
for the initiation of his plan. 


CHAPTER XXI. 

We need not dwell on the hop. It was very much 
like other affairs of the kind. The Pilgrims were 
here for amusement,— I mean that they did not per- 
mit the more serious purposes of their sojourn to 
interfere with a little rational enjoyment. Besides, 
there was a sufficient sprinkling of super-fashionable 
people to set the example to the rest of the bad taste 
of appearing to be bored. Of course they never per- 
mitted the autonomy of their little cliques to be 
broken, but they condescendingly danced all on the 
same floor with the praiseworthy object of making 
the ball a success. Many of the ladies appeared in 
full evening toilettes, and as these dresses all ceased, 
as it has been so delicately expressed, at the ‘‘ bust 
line,” we can infer how eminently proper the com- 
X3any was. 

Mr. Pampero and party put in an early appear- 
ance, and of course this party included Mr. Axel. 


PARADISE. 


129 


Later in the evening, seeing them all together, Mrs. 
Trevellyn joined them, and in her graceful way 
made herself eminently agreeable. 

By the way,” she found time to whisper to Mr. 
Axel, your friend, Mr. Pampero, quite fascinates 
me, his vulgarity is so refreshing.” 

Mr. Pampero, too, reciprocated this kindly feel- 
ing, and was loud in his praise of his wife’s friend ; 
but all the time Miss Rebecca maintained that stern 
and scornful expression that she could so success- 
fully assume when she was not well pleased. 

And the hop really did in a manner assist Mr. 
Axel’ s little scheme. It assisted it because it initi- 
ated an acquaintance between the unconscious for- 
warders of it in an easy and natural manner, leaving 
nothing forced to be done by himself. 

By the way,” he inquired a couple of days after- 
ward of Mr. Pampero, in the pleasant tone of 
familiar comradeship that their peculiar relations 
naturally induced — by the way, how are you get- 
ting on in that little matter proposed by Mr. Par- 
tem ?” Mr. Pampero looked dubious. 

‘^It don’t sort of work,” he confessed. ‘‘I was 
speaking to my sister-in-law about it, but she liter- 
ally shrieked with laughter. She’s got no serious- 
ness at all, sir !” (Mr. Axel could not quite agree 
with this.) 

So she refused to enter into the arrangement ?” 

‘‘ She didn’t refuse, sir, in so many words, but she 
treated the idea with a levity that assured me of her 
determination.” 

‘‘It’s unfortunate,” observed Mr. Axel, medita- 
tively, “ that Mr. Partem confined you to Miss Gar- 
land.” 


130 


PARADISE. 


‘‘ But lie didn’t ; it was I that suggested my 
sister-in-law, as being in the family, you know.” 

‘‘Fori was thinking,” continued the ingenuous 
young man, as if inattentive to Mr. Pampero’s 
reply, that if he hadn’t limited you so strictly to 
her^ there were other ladies here who might have 
answered his purpose equally well. There’s Mrs. 
John Q. Ferrible, for instance.” 

“True,” said Mr. Pampero ; “but there’s that 
Captain Hilton Tilton.” 

“ Then there’s Mrs. Henry Jevames,” continued 
Axel. 

“Yes,” objected Mr. Pampero, “ but there’s that 
Mr. Fails” (the Dismal Man). 

“Well,” resumed Mr. Axel, again searching his 
memory, ‘ ‘ let me see. Why, there’ s Mrs. Trevellyn. 
I was almost forgetting her.” 

“Yes,” answered Mr. Pampero, knowingly, “ but 
then there’ s you. ’ ’ 

“Me!” exclaimed Mr. Axel. “Oh, well, don’t 
mind me ; I’m only an old friend of hers, just as I 
am of Mrs. Pampero’s, you understand. By the 
way, now I remember, she was asking a great deal 
about you the other night.” 

“ Who, sir, my wife f ’ 

“ Oh, no, Mrs. Trevellyn ; she seemed quite in- 
quisitive ; indeed, if it wasn’t to assist you in this 
particular matter, of course I would not repeat it ; 
but she told me — what was the expression she 
used?” and Mr. Axel searched his memory — “oh, 
yes, I have it ; she told me you quite fascinated 
her.’^ 

Mr. Pampero pulled down his waistcoat and looked 
intensely solemn. 


PARADISE. 


131 


Of conrse she spoke in her light, joking way, 
but then you know the adage, ‘ Many a true word,’ 
etc. At any rate, she was quite curious about you ; 
indeed, I think she said you looked like a man who 
had gone through some great trial.” 

‘‘ Oh, but we fixed the jury and got a special in- 
junction from the court, — trust Sundusky Central 
for that.” 

I think she alluded to a more sentimental trial 
than your great railroad suit, sir. Of course it is 
only an oj)inion, but she’s a very romantic woman 
herself, and will persist in the belief that all her 
acquaintances are similarly afflicted.” 

‘‘ Mrs. Trevellyn, sir, is a woman of deep insight 
and of much perspicacity of character. I came to 
that conclusion after the hve minutes’ conversation I 
had with her. But what else did you say she asked 
about me, sir ?” 

‘‘ Oh, 1 don’t remember ; something about your 
reputation, I think, whether you didn’t have the 
reputation of being dangerous, — dangerous in your 
relations with the fair sex. Of course, I defended 
you, but she insisted upon it, and said with a laugh 
I must keep you very far off from lier^ 

Mr. Axel might have played his cards wdth more 
finesse^ but the fact is, happening to meet Mr. Part • 
em in the street this morning, he inferred from that 
gentleman’s remarks that Mrs. Pampero’s affairs 
Avere soon to be brought to an issue, consequently 
Mr. Axel’s hand was forced ; but the ill-concealed 
look of pleased vanity on Mr. Pampero’s counte- 
nance assured him that the ruse had succeeded. In- 
deed, from this moment Mrs. Trevellyn secured a 
large share of Mr. Pampero’s attention/, and so far 


132 


PARADISE. 


from resenting, she rather encouraged it, ‘^because 
of his refreshing vulgarity, you know,” and ‘‘ the 
sincere regard she entertained for his foolish little 
wife.” As time went on, too, he seemed bent on 
airing his newly- discovered character as lady-killer 
before the other Pilgrims of the female sex, with 
whom he had made himself popular to a degree that 
only fell short of producing the desired effect on his 
wife. 

“ He has the reputation of giving such wonderful 
points in stocks,” Mrs. John Q. muttered to Captain 
Hilton Tilton, explanatorily, and about two hours 
afterward Captain Hilton Tilton was actually seen 
walking arm in arm with Mr. Pampero, artistically 
leading up to the ‘‘ pointing mood ” by a brief his- 
torical sketch of coaching, and showing its connec- 
tion with railroads, of which coaching certainly was 
the progenitor. The worthy captain occasionally 
took what he called a flyer” in Wall Street, and 
Mrs. John Q. kept a book” of her losses and 
profits as conscientiously as great ladies in other 
countries keep their books on racing. 

There was, however, a better cause for the kind 
manner in which ‘‘divorce circles” eventually 
opened their arms to the Pamperos — namely, the 
real motive that influenced madam in applying to 
the courts. This gradually oozing out afforded to 
the Pilgrims a honne houcJie for conversation of too 
delightfully original a character to be neglected. 

They were called “the reunited family,” the 
“happy family,” or the menage a cinq^ and many 
were the cutting jests made at their expense. Others 
more charitably inclined were principally struck 
with the incongruity of the situation, and apart 


PARADISE. 


133 


from any desire to be spiteful, were simply bewil- 
dered, particularly the Dismal Man, who was sorely 
puzzled over the subject. 

You’ll excuse me,” he said with the utmost 
politeness to Mr. Axel, but at the same time with a 
persistency of manner that brooked no evasion — 

you’ll excuse me^ but I don’t understand how you 
are all so intimate.” 

I don’t understand it myself,” exclaimed Mr. 
Axel, who really could not go into the particulars 
and show how each one was acting artificially. 

“ For if Mrs. P.” (he invariably called Mrs. Pam- 
pero Mrs. P.) ‘Yeally is infiuenced by the reasons I 
hear she is, where do you come in V ’ and he looked 
at Mr. Axel with the most puzzled expression of 
countenance. 

‘‘ I don’t come in at all,” he said, trying to turn 
it off lightly. 

“ But you’ll confess you don’t stay out. Indeed, 
since the new addition to the party you’ve been 
more intimate than ever. Of course it’s none of my 
business, but you’ll admit it does seem strange. 
By the way, some of the Pilgrims were suggesting 
that you had brought Mr. Pampero out as a blind.” 

‘^Now look here,” exclaimed Mr. Axel, at last 
bristling up, ‘^I’ve stood this insolence of yours 
till I—” 

Oh, but they don’t all say that,” interrupted 
the Dismal Man. ‘‘ Others advance the theory that 
you brought him out to slide him off on Mrs. Trev- 
ellyn, while Captain Tilton suggests that you’ve 
made a mistake in your geography, and really 
meant to strike Salt Lake City.” 

Mr. Axel raised his clenched fist. ‘‘ There really 


134 


TARADISE. 


are occasions, yon know — ” but curiously enough, 
at that very instant the lugubrious man’s visage 
assumed so preternatural an excess of sadness that 
the fist could not find the nerve to strike, but 
dropped back paralyzed into the trousers-jjocket as 
its owner turned away. 

****** 

There was a force to the Dismal Man’s observa 
tions, unwelcome as they were ; nevertheless Mr. 
Axel was accomplishing one of his tasks : he was 
rapidly ‘‘disillusioning” Mrs. Pampero. Indeed, 
his anxiety as to how it was all to turn out created 
a glumness that might well have bored any woman 
in her senses. 

“ Why, you’re really worse than ever,” she ob- 
served. “You were only dull before, but now you 
seem in a condition of suspended animation, — com- 
pletely paralyzed, as it were. What is it ? Have I 
offended you in any way 

“ Perhaps I’m only natural, and it was my former 
flow of spirits that was forced and he made a 
laudable effort to follow out the course prescribed 
by Miss Rebecca. 

“ Mr. Axel, what you say is now forced ; you’re 
less natural than you ever were ; you seem espe- 
cially distressed ; something is preying on your 
mind, some secret anxiety ; oh, tell me !” as a pos- 
sible explanation suggested itself, “tell me, has 
— has my husband challenged you ? Mr. Pam- 
pero is so high-spirited, so desirous to appear anx- 
ious to prevent my separation, so chivalrous in his 
longing to put himself in an aggrieved position, that 
he might take any rash step.” 

“No, madam, he has not challenged liie yet.” 


PARADISE. 


135 


Blit have yon any reason to think he will ? Oh, 
Mr. Axel, a dnel would break my heart — just think 
if you were both killed !” 

People don’t get killed nowadays in duels,” re- 
plied Mr. Axel, looking back over the most recent 
encounters ; ‘ ‘ each one is more afraid of killing his 
adversary and facing the legal consequences than of 
getting killed himself. I went to one of the last 
duels fought. We had a special train, and we 
picked up along the line, here and there, gentlemen 
who figure prominently in such matters. On arriv- 
ing at the grounds, the whole question was discussed 
in all its bearings, and it was finally resolved to 
settle the difficulty by a pigeon-match. The re- 
porters were properly primed, and the journals re- 
corded a duel, so tlie honor of both parties was 
•satisfied ; but it was nothing but a pigeon-shoot 
after all.” 

‘ ^ Promise me, however, should Mr. Pampero ever 
suggest such a proceeding, that you will immedi- 
ately communicate with me ; promise !” 

I promise,” and at that moment Mr. Axel 
thought if there could only be a pentagonal duel, 
Avith himself as one of the participants, no fear of 
legal consequences would restrain him. 

Mrs. Pampero was not the only one to notice the 
change that had come over him. 

‘‘You look pale,” said Miss Pebecca one morn- 
ing, Avith a touch of sympathy she had never dis- 
played before. 

“ I am heroically following out the course you 
laid doAvn for me,” he said. “You see, to sIioav 
one’s self in one’s true colors tells at last.” 

“ But your true color is not any shade of pale- 


13C 


PARADISE. 


ness,’’ she observed. ‘‘You must really take better 
care of yourself.” 

“ If only to continue the course of disillusioning 
your sister. I suppose I’d make myself too popular 
now if I took myself off,” he insinuated. 

Becky laughed. “You must remain in expiation 
of your sins,” she said. 

“ But what are my sins ?” he asked. 

Becky looked up at the ceiling and unconsciously 
counted the flies. 

******* 

The fact of the matter is, Mr. Axel was not only 
losing his spirits, but he was losing his appetite. 
He knew Mr. Partem was making extra efforts to 
secure Mrs. Pampero’s release, for Mrs. Trevellyn 
had employed a lawyer with whom Mr. Partem 
had a slight professional rivalry, and he even sus- 
pected that wagers had passed between the two gen- 
tlemen as to which of them would free a client first. 
At all events, they were racing neck and neck ; and 
under the excitement of the contest Mr. Axel ques- 
tioned his mirror daily for visible evidences of whit- 
ened hairs amid his dark, crispy locks. 

You ask why he did not leave Paradise in spite 
of Miss Rebecca? Well, there was just sufficient 
chivalry lingering in his composition to make him 
dislike to desert a woman whose conduct he had, 
after all, so largely influenced. Besides, a sort of 
moral inertia had fallen upon him, and he was 
really unable to get away, just as in dreams, when 
we wish to fly from some dark, overwhelming dan- 
ger, our legs are paralyzed, and actually refuse to 
convey us. But the blackest clouds are often just 


PARADISE. 


13T 


before the bursting out of the sun ; and though he 
did not know it, the blackest sort of clouds are 
gathering now in the sky. 


CHAPTER XXII. 

On the bank of the river near the Upper Enfer 
Falls stands a high table-like rock, commanding a 
fine view. On the very highest apex of this rock, 
and conspicuous from every point of view, is a 
curious inscription. The characters of the inscrip- 
tion are not Runic ; they are not Scandinavian, nor 
even Old English ; they are rather New English, 
and they spell in bold and gorgeous letters, “ The 
Balm of Gilead.” Other curious inscriptions of 
the same enterprising character, but more appro- 
priate to the peculiar form of enterprise that Para- 
dise is distinguished for, are scattered about. Thus 
‘‘Burst the Bonds” meets your eye with startling 
abruptness on one side, and “ Divorce Made Easy” 
lures you on the other. This stone tells you that 
you are only two miles from Mr. Slicem’s celebrated 
divorce agency ; and Mr. Partem’ s professional 
praises are sung the length of every board fence. 
Indeed, every tree, every stone, every mossy rock 
seems placed just where it is by a beneficent Creator 
with the ultimate intention of facilitating the break- 
ing of those bonds which He had made, while over 
all towers that greatest rock offering the “ Balm of 
Gilead ” as a prize. 

Because this rock really does command a fine 


138 


PAIIADISE. 


view, when you turn your back to the city and look 
into the hazy distance, the rock is much resorted 
to by picnickers, and is called, from the inscrip- 
tion that brands its face, The Rock of Gilead.’’ 

I am not quite sure who proposed it ; I think 
Mrs. Trevellyn ; but it was seconded by Mrs. Pam- 
pero, — remember that. At all events, the proposal 
was to lunch in the open air on this very rock, the 
guests being strictly limited to the Happy Family. 

In spite of those dark, ominous clouds with which 
the last chapter closed, the morning for the excur- 
sion opened brightly. Mr. Pampero was especially 
resplendent in a pair of fancy shepherd-plaid 
trousers, a blue-and- white waistcoat spotted, like a 
panther, and one of those large, voluminous satin 
scarfs that Mr. Pampero alone knew how to tie. A 
field-glass in a white leather case hung suspended 
across the Paragon’ s right shoulder. A flat-brimmed 
straw hat was jauntily poised on one side of the Para- 
gon’s head, and a large red rosebud ornamented, 
like a badge of honor, the Paragon’ s left breast. 
Though in her way she was quite as elegantly got- 
ten up, this jauntiness of attire, being quite unusual 
to him, jarred on Mrs. Pampero. The sensations it 
aroused were of too elusive a character to formulate 
in language, but iP jarred upon her all the same, and 
it was with a foreboding of unpleasantness that 
she started out ; Mrs. Trevellyn and Mrs. Pampero 
on the back seat. Miss Rebecca and Mr. Pampero in 
front, and the ever-accommodating Mr. Axel perched 
upon the box. The journey was made without any 
mishap ; the luncheon was duly spread on the rock, 
and everything promised to pass off without the 
slightest hitch, unless we account as such a slight 


PARADISE. 


139 


discussion of a dissuasive character with the driver, 
who, with the kindly and easy-going familiarity of 
the place, was on the point of joining in the festivi- 
ties. Indeed, the luncheon was most successfully 
drawing near its natural close, when some one called 
for Cura§oa, and every one rose to search for the 
bottle. 

I remember now it was never taken out of the 
carriage,” exclaimed Mrs. Pampero. ‘‘ I know ex- 
actly where it was put, so I’ll go and get it.” Then 
Mrs. Pampero departed on her self-imposed mission. 

What a curious feature it is about al fresco enter- 
tainments, that the moment every one’s appetite is 
sated every one wanders off ! The movement is in- 
stinctive rather than premeditated, but the most re- 
markable circumstance connected with it is that the 
party always wanders off in pairs, something like 
the four-footed companions of Noah after their little 
picnic in the ark ; or was it that they only went in 
in pairs % Never mind how many or how few there 
are so long as there are enough of different sexes 
to make pairs, they will inevitably break up into 
pairs. The result of this undoubted law was that 
when Mrs. Pampero returned from the carriage with 
the article of which she had gone in search, no one 
remained in sight to receive it. At first Mrs. Pam- 
pero was alarmed ; then a keen appreciation of the 
indignity offered her filled her soul. She that had 
been, so to speak, the head-centre of the party, to 
be so rudely, so cavalierly treated ! To have the 
sacrifice she had made so little esteemed ! Tears of 
mortification filled her eyes, and yet there was no 
one to remonstrate with. She would not follow the 
absentees ; of course , not. She would, on the con- 


140 


PARADISE. 


trary, seat herself just where she was, and show by 
a dignified coldness what she thought of their be- 
havior. 

Mr. Pampero, following that universal law of pic- 
nickers, had wandered off down one side of the 
rock as Mr. Axel had wandered off down the other, 
— each one with his companion. On arriving at a 
point where the rains had washed away the path 
Mr. Pampero had gallantly raised his arms to assist 
Mrs. Trevellyn down. Under the circumstances, as 
she descended Mrs. Trevellyn very naturally laid 
her hand for a moment on Mr. Pampero’ s shoulder. 

How much there is in a touch ! — that is, in some 
people’s touch ; and how differently different peo- 
ple are affected ! The effect on Mr. Pampero was 
to increase his solemnity. Mrs. Trevellyn,” he 
said, mount up there once more ; mount, madam ; 
you will do me a particular, a very particular favor 
by getting up there once more.” 

Mrs. Trevellyn, somewhat surprised, did as she 
was requested. 

Now,” he said, as he prepared to assist her 
again to the ground, “ let the sweet electricity of 
that touch dwell once more on my shoulder.” The 
metaphor was somewhat mixed, but it was accom- 
panied by a glance that left little doubt as to the 
speaker’s meaning. 

“ Oh, you see I am not quite so old as to require 
assistance yet, Mr. Pampero,” and she sprang 
lightly down. 

Mr. Pampero was ‘touched” again. He turned 
about and saw that they were alone. Then with that 
extra boldness that none but the bold under the cir- 
cumstances acquire, ‘‘ Oh, Mrs. Trevellyn,” he said. 


PARADISE. 


141 


I think of yon as Adasa ; may I call yon so ? and 
won’t you call me George ?” 

Mrs. Trevellyn’ s bright, rippling laughter was the 
only reply, but Mr. Pampero took it as consent. 

AVe say Mr. Axel had also obeyed that time- 
honored law peculiar to picnics of wandering off 
with a single companion. The subject of his con- 
versation was, however, quite different from Mr. 
Pampero’ s. 

Miss Garland,” he observed, don’t you think 
there’s something quite heroic in my conduct f 

Heroic !” exclaimed the young lady, with a 
well-feigned obtuseness of perception. 

. ‘‘Yes, heroic. I have heard of men trying to play 
the part of being agreeable with great delight to 
themselves, but the part you allot to me has no play 
in it ; it’s all hard work.” 

“ But I thought it came naturally to you ?” 

“You never have given me a chance to prove the 
reverse. You had a preconceived conviction that 
all my good points were feigned and my bad ones 
natural. Further, you demand of me that I should 
bring these bad points into focus. I don’t say I am 
not sufficiently rewarded by the virtuous nature 
of the course I’m pursuing, but I only wish you to 
understand that it is heroism, and of a very exalted 
character.” 

Miss Eebecca looked doubtful. 

“ I have always wondered,” he continued, 
“ whether women of the name of Eebecca have the 
same feminine feelings that other women possess. 
1 suppose I oughtn’t to say it, but as you tell me I 
must make myself disagreeably natural, I may as 
well add — ” and he hesitated. 


142 


PARADISE. 


‘‘ Add wliat?” inquired Rebecca. 

‘‘Why, that of all names in feminine nomencla- 
ture I hate the name of Rebecca the most.’^ 

“Well,” laughed Rebecca, “you certainly 
the power to make yourself disagreeable when you 
like!” And then, slightly relenting, “But I only 
told you to show yourself in' your true colors to my 
sister.” 

“ Well, of all confessions,” exclaimed Mr. Axel, 
“that’s the most barefaced! Oh, Miss Rebecca! 
Miss Rebecca ! so you only wanted me to be dis- 
agreeable to your sister ! What a disinterested, 
unselfish course you are pursuing !” and he shook 
his finger at her playfully as he laughed out loud. . 

It was at this moment that the two couples, hav- 
ing taken different but converging paths, unexpect- 
edly came in sight of each other. 

This laugh of Mr. Axel’s, commingling with the 
bright, rippling laugh of Mrs. Trevellyn, and en- 
forced by the ponderous “ Ha, ha, ha,” of Mr. 
Pampero (on his detecting the two others), was wafted 
to Mrs. Pampero’s ear as she sat presiding over the 
deserted feast. How, a laugh in which one has no 
part or parcel jars far more upon one’s complacency 
than even tears in which one has no share. We can 
console ourselves if left out from the misery of our 
friends, but to be neglected in their happiness is 
hard indeed. Then, too, they failed to notice her 
sense of injury, and came back in the most naturally 
oblivious manner, as if taking it quite for granted 
that she should have been left out. Besides, when 
she noticed him more carefully, there was a bright 
exhilaration about Mr. Pampero that ill accorded 
with his ordinary solemnity. He appeared quite 


PARADISE. 


143 


forgetful of Ms dignity, and even assumed a jocose- 
ness and a frivolity that were unbecoming in the 
extreme. 

“It’s my turn now, old chappie,” he familiarly 
remarked to Mr. Axel, offering to take his place on 
the box. 

Mrs. Pampero was pained at this. Her husband 
was a much older and a very different man from 
Mr. Axel. His words and language conveyed the 
impression that he considered himself on a par with 
him as to youth and attractiveness. Hot only this, 
but he kept firing squibs down from his pinnacle on 
the box, asking Miss Hebecca, for instance, whether 
in her walks she preferred having a “ chap-a-rone” to 
a “ chap-a-lone,” and making other puns as distress- 
ing as they were indecorous. It was very undigni- 
fied, very ill-bred. 

“ You seem silent,” said Mrs. Trevellyn, leaning 
over Mrs. Pampero. Ah ! how the kindly soul of 
that little woman hated Mrs. Trevellyn at that 
moment ! 

The drive home for Mrs. Pampero was even less 
agreeable than the drive out. Mr. Axel was any- 
thing but entertaining. He was even stupid, she 
thought ; and how could he find Becky so interest- 
ing as to confine his conversation almost exclusively 
to her ? Becky was a dear, good girl, but the idea 
of any one paying her marked attention was simply 
absurd ! 

Then the driver, encouraged by Mr. Pampero’s 
hilarity, or to show that he bore no grudge in the 
little matter of the lunch, was continually joining in 
the talk, while Mrs. Trevellyn never ceased sym- 
pathizing with Mrs. Pampero ; asking whether she 


144 


PARADISE. 


really, really did not have a headache ; whether 
she wouldn’t try some of her sal volatile ; repeating 
over and over again that it had been especially pre- 
sented her by a certain prince, and then purposely 
lugging in, as it seemed to Mrs. Pampero, the names 
of world-wide celebrities, among whom Mrs. Pam- 
pero’s lines had not been cast. Altogether, that al 
fresco experiment was the most unpleasant affair 
that she had ever gone through ; and when she got 
home her sorely-strained feelings scarcely permit- 
ted her to bid the company good-by. Indeed, she 
mounted quickly to her own room, and once within 
its sacred privacy she burst into tears, longing for 
some Balm of Gilead that, alas ! was wanting. 

How lonely the great world seemed to her, how 
vast and void ! The sky in its very blueness seemed 
cruel, and the sun to mock her. What an infinitesimal 
speck of humanity she was ! Yet if lonely now, 
how much worse would it be when the law pro- 
nounced her single and alone once more ! So soon, 
so startlingly soon ; for Mr. Partem had assured 
her that her divorce could now be expected at any 
moment. Had her husband been really innately 
superior to her, would he have treated her thus ? 
Had she been superior to him, could she have 
treated him thus % Was not his conduct rather 
marked by a fiippancy and a want of decorum that 
ought to open any woman’s eyes? If unchecked, 
into what might not this fiippancy degenerate ? 

To begin by showing such devoted attentions to a 
married woman, her own bosom friend (the ser- 
pent !), was it not immoral \ And the thought of 
Mr. Axel and the other perplexities of the situation 
recurring to her, she wept and wept again. 


PARADISE. 


145 


All ! what soft mystery of attraction there is in 
women’s tears, — in the dewdrops that moisten the 
long dark lash, that stain as summer rain the peach- 
like damask of the cheek ! God weeps through 
women, says the Indian proverb ; and yet some men 
dislike some women’s tears. To me there is an in- 
describable witchery about their tears, and while 
they fascinate me the sight of them lacerates my 
heart. No lawn of bishop, no loomed linen of the 
earth, scarce the texture of a dream is delicate 
enough to brush away some women’ s tears. Ah ! the 
witchery, the irresistible, soft witchery of women’s 
tears ! God weeps through women — and without a 
doubt finds much cause through them to weep. 

And all the while these cruel, cruel men were 
assisting the other ladies from the carriage, all the 
while these cruel, thoughtless ladies were detaining 
them below, and all the while the cruel, cruel coach- 
man was making out his count for double time. 
This was the salve he found for his wounded social 
aspirations, and I don’t know but his manner of 
squaring-up was, after all, the best. 


CHAPTER XXIII. 

Mr. Axel arrived at his conclusions, like a woman, 
by intuition. In consequence of this he felt rather 
than argued that Mrs. Trevellyn was at cross-pur- 
poses with him ; not that she had begun to suspect 
his deeply-laid scheme exactly, but at all events 
that the easy-going good-fellowship into which he 


146 


PARADISE. 


had tried to let his previous devotions glide some- 
how failed to work. He felt, besides, that his atten- 
tions to Miss Kebecca Avere misconstrued by Mrs. 
Trevellyn. She could not, of course, know that it 
was merely Miss Garland’s bracing healthiness that 
drew him over toward her, and his very natural de- 
sire to right himself in that young lady’ s mind. 

How things in this world gradually work up to a 
certain condition of preparation or readiness — and 
then how slight a circumstance brings about the 
climax ! 

That roundabout drive was the circumstance des- 
tined to bring affairs to a head. During all that 
long ensuing afternoon Mr. Axel felt that he ought 
to make Mrs. Trevellyn some atonement for having 
allowed her to fall so exclusively to the society of 
Mr. Pampero, and yet all that long afternoon he 
hesitated — as poor Axel did in everything. Toward 
evening, however, as she failed to come to dinner, 
he presented himself at the door of her private sit- 
ting-room and was admitted. 

There was an air of luxury about everything ap- 
pertaining to Mrs. Trevellyn. Costly bric-a-brac 
was scattered about the room, hot-house roses 
bloomed on the table, miles de Genes hangings were 
suspended on the walls ; and yet this luxury in a 
hotel sitting-room unconsciously gave one the im- 
pression of a nomad who carries her household 
effects wherever she goes. And how truly her sur- 
roundings spelled her circumstances and condition, 
told the very history of her life ! At home every- 
where, she had never had a home anywhere. Born 
in a hotel, cradled on its piazza, schooled at every 
watering-place caravansary in the land, graduated 


PARADISE. 


147 


as a hotel belle at the age of seventeen, she had 
burst on Europe with a wild scintillation of occi- 
dental brilliancy, and taken every court by storm. 
Seeking publicity for social advancement, she had 
secured, by her capacity to amuse, an entree to the 
society of two continents at the cost of an assured 
position anywhere. It was during the maddened 
rush and whirl of a London season that she had 
coldly thrown over Axel on the speculative venture 
of securing a certain diplomat of high rank ; and 
being herself justly thrown over in turn, she had 
subsequently married Trevellyn only to come to 
Paradise to throw Mm over. 

As Mr. Axel entered the room she rose to receive 
him — rose with that sweeping grace that no woman 
but herself could command. She let the tapering 
fingers of her delicate hand remain for a moment in 
his ; then perceiving his eye fall on an open letter 
near her, she hastily removed it, and swept it into 
her pocket. Something in her manner — a weari- 
ness, a look of secret, subdued suffering, perhaps 
— dictated his opening remark. 

You seem tired,” he said ; are you ill 

Have you come as a physician?” she replied 
coldly. ‘‘ Perhaps you will also add that my com- 
plexion is going, that my beauty no longer is as it 
was, that time, too, is writing its warnings in crow- 
feet lettering around my eyes.” 

Something had happened, and as he looked at her 
more closely, she appeared to have aged ten years 
in fewer hours. • 

‘‘ Play me something,” he said to change the sub- 
ject as he dropped into a chair. Play me one of 
the old tunes I used to love to hear you play.” 


148 


PARADISE. 


She drew up to the piano reluctantly ; but at last 
she began to lose herself in the music. Few women, 
we have said, played like Mrs. Trevellyn ; but her 
playing that night was beyond anything that Axel 
had ever heard. She evoked from her memory a 
sequence of harmonies that expressed her compli- 
cated emotions ; gliding from the silvery brightness 
and the weirdness of Chopin to the passionate fervor 
of Verdi, she would let herself die away, as it 
were, in the inexpressible sadness of one of Men- 
delssohn’s wordless songs, only to strike an instant 
later into some heartless bravura, as if in brilliant 
defiance of the world she had so misused. Every 
emotion was touched,— hope, fear, anger, and de- 
spair ; it was a symphonic epitome of her life. At 
last she pushed herself back from the instrument 
impatiently. 

‘‘Why are you still' at this place?” she asked 
abruptly. “I understood you were going away a 
week ago.” 

Mr. Axel was a little thrown off his guard by the 
suddenness of the question. “I’ve been asked to 
remain,” he answered, “to make myself disagree- 
able.” 

“ There you are again with your enigmas. I sup- 
pose you think that you can afford to make yourself 
disagreeable and still be more entertaining than the 
average man? Yarian, why don’t you give up 
posturing? You are always posing for a man of 
brilliancy — and what claim have you got ? Because 
you scribble by the yard you consider yourself a 
genius. Why, I rate Mr. Pampero here higher than 
you. He is a self-made man ; but though you’re 
always saying how vulgar he is — ” ' 


PARADISE. 


149 


I saying how vulgar he is ! Why, I never made 
such a remark in my life. I only observed once 
that, being a self-made man, it relieved the Lord of 
any responsibility in producing him ; and I don’t 
even claim that remark as original, for I have heard 
it made before.” 

And on whom do you throw the responsibility 
of making you 

Leave me out of the question — I don’t count.” 

But you do count ; your humility is as affected 
as your pride ; because you are eccentric you place 
yourself in a position of fancied superiority. Don’t 
you know the very eccentricity that you aspire to is 
assumption, — is arrogance ? By the way, how are 
those novels getting on that always ended so extra- 
ordinarily ? The comedies that ran into tragedies, 
and the tragedies that toward the middle took a 
ludicrous turn ?” 

Mr. Axel was nettled ; his novels were his one 
sore sx)ot ; besides, there was something so cruel, so 
deliberately cruel in her efforts to goad him. He 
remembered the part that this woman had played 
in his own past life. He remembered the way she 
had led him on ; how, after she had accepted him, 
she had held him by every device up to the very eve 
of the ambassadorial proposal, and, obtaining this, 
with what heartless sang froid she had thrown him 
off ! He had loved her then with the force of all 
his better nature, and he remembered her delight, 
her revelling delight in the misery she had caused. 
He even thought, in those dark days, that she pur- 
posely compromised herself with other men in order 
to inflict upon him the pain of seeing that she gave 
to others what she refused to him. 


150 


PARADISE. 


And yon blame me for being what I am he 
asked, looking np at her with his peculiar quiet 
smile. ‘‘ Oh, Adasa, that is very unjust indeed. A 
moment ago you asked me who was responsible for 
the making of me ? I’m afraid you had some hand 
in the matter. It is only since I knew you that I 
have learned the true bearing of things — namely, 
that everything is a sham, and that there is nothing 
worth doing at all.” 

‘‘ Oh, Varian, don’t say that !” she exclaimed, 
fervently. 

But I will,” he continued. ‘‘You have robbed 
me of everything that made life worth living. It is 
our illusions that keep us up. You have robbed 
me of them all. You have given me, like a second 
Eve, the knowledge that ought to be withheld — 
namely, that nothing is real. Then, as if not satis- 
fied with the work, you taunt me with being the 
moral wreck I am. That was unkind, Adasa ; that 
was fiendish, to taunt me with being what you made 
me. I was not a man to drown myself in drink for 
you ; I was not a man to lose myself in the slough 
of dissipation for you ; but I am, nevertheless, the 
greater moral wreck for you, for I have neither fear 
of Grod nor hope from men. I am that hopeless 
thing, a man without a character, with scarcely the 
power of distinguishing the difference between right 
and wrong ; and you, with your accursed beauty 
and your charms, with your smooth tongue and 
your deceit, have made me what I am.” 

She raised her hands appealingly. 

“ Oh, this is awful, awful ! No one ever had 
to bear a charge like that. Think of my life, what 
it has been ; think of how I was brought up !” and 


PARADISE. 


151 


she tried to detain him, for he was moving toward 
the door. 

Don’t tonch me,” he said ; your very hands 
pollute me.” 

Oh, Yarian, I beg you. We are both young 
yet,” she went on, we have the world before us ; 
let us discover together there is yet something ! 
Stay wdth me forever ! Oh, Yarian — oh, Yarian, 
don’t go !” 

He stopped and looked back at her. ‘‘ Have I not 
lost enough already he asked. ‘‘ Would you rob 
me of my sense of decency too ?” 

Then he left her and went out into the night, 
wandering on farther and farther till he reached 
the banks of the stream ; wandering way out to 
where the Rock of Grilead ” towers like a Western 
Sphinx over the Greater Enfer Falls. At the edge 
of the river he stopped. What was life, after all, 
his life or that of any one else ? Here to-day, gone 
to-morrow, back to the breast of the common 
Mother Nature whence it sprang. What even was 
consistency or inconsistency ? What was even hap- 
piness, so fleeting as it is ? Whether he or any one 
else succeeded, what difference did it make ? After 
all, had he not struck the key-note of human ex- 
istence in his novels, — namely, that what com- 
mences brightly ends in woe ? And a feeling of in- 
tolerable sadness stole over him. 

The river was deep at that point, and a little 
farther on was a deeper pool. He could tell it was 
deeper by the stillness of the water and the un- 
troubled reflections of the stars. They appeared to 
drown themselves as in fathomless depths, sinking 
out of sight, out of remembrance, as if to rise no more. 


152 


PARADISE. 


He approached the pool with that feeling of intol- 
erable sadness urging him on. After all, was it not 
better that he had not succeeded ? What had he to 
say that would be better for the world to know ? If 
the only happiness be in illusions, was it right to 
pull the blanket from the shivering souls of men ? 
But how serenely those stars sank down, their re- 
flections appearing to die away into a long eternal 
repose ! 

Instinctively he removed his coat ; then with that 
ruling passion, nicety, that would have shown itself 
in death, he removed his tie and neatly folded it up. 
What was death ? Merely a cessation of existence ; 
and what was existence ? Nothing but the negative 
of death. What was fame but a lingering lustre 
after death, as that of stars whose existence perhaps 
long ago had ceased ? He looked about him ; he 
was alone with his own thoughts, alone with the 
stars and their reflections, alone with the Eock of 
Gilead and the great mystery of night. Alone, 
alone — and there was nothing to prevent ! 


CHAPTEE XXIY. 

OxE evening as I was sitting on the piazza of my 
country home, a stately steamer came sailing up 
Long Island Sound. From the first I was struck 
with the brilliancy of her illumination, which, as I 
continued watching her, appeared to grow brighter 
and brighter. At last I saw that she was in trouble, 
and had either lost command of her helm or was 


PARADISE. 


153 


steering wildly. Then like a sudden flash it dawned 
upon me that the whole interior was a crumbling 
hell of flames. 

I shall never forget my sensations as I watched her 
sweep by, barely three miles distant, on to destruc- 
tion. The last I saw of her she seemed a ball of fire 
on the dark edge of the horizon. 

I was surprised to notice no mention of her loss 
the next day in the papers. There could be, how- 
ever, no doubt as to what I had seen ; it had been wit- 
nessed also by my guests and neighbors, and by the 
fishermen along the shore. Indeed, we were all hotly 
discussing the terrible disaster the next afternoon, 
each one vehemently maintaining his own theory as 
to why her fate had not been recorded, when round 
the same identical point where she had blazed into 
view the preceding evening she hove in sight again. 
Then I knew that her illumination was the new 
electric light, and subsequently I learned that, curi- 
ously enough, she had met with an accident to her 
steering gear, on that identical evening, just off my 
place. 

Now, I do not wish to draw a far-fetched analogy 
between Mrs. Trevellyn and that steamer, but there 
was nevertheless something similar in the false im- 
pression they both conveyed. Her passions, too, 
were merely electric light, so to speak, brilliant, but 
cold, and merely gotten up for the occasion ; not 
purposely feigned, yet altogether misleading, and 
turned on or off with perfect ease to herself. In 
addition, as it will be seen, Mrs. Trevellyn did lose 
for one moment command of that guiding intelli- 
gence, and this accident was destined to carry her 
very far out to sea— across the sea. 


154 


PARADISE. 


On the departure of Mr. Axel she coolly removed 
a letter from her pocket. It was a hard letter, a 
brutal letter, but she mastered its every word. At 
last, with a weary sigh, for she was physically tired, 
she proceeded to answer it. 

‘‘ In the note I have before me,’’ she penned, 
you tell me that the gentleman whom, on the 
settlement of our divorce proceedings, you had des- 
tined me to marry, has eluded our machinations. 
You further insinuate, however, that Mr. Pampero’s 
vast wealth might assist you to retrieve your broken 
fortunes equally well. Life has no further attrac- 
tions for me. As for myself, I am utterly sick of 
everything. I may as well do you^ at all events, 
one good turn and marry this man. I really think, 
though, I could scarcely nerve myself up to the 
ordeal were it not to show his little fool of a wife 
what a monumental deception he is, for he combines 
a pomposity with a small cunningness of disposition 
that makes him at once the laughing-stock and the 
contempt of the whole place. 

“ I bare my whole soul to you thus in order that 
you may fully comprehend my delicate motives in 
this affair, and will only add that when he is firmly 
tied to me, as I have little doubt that I can tie him, 
I will then hand him over to your tender mercies to 
bleed at your best discretion. I am expecting my 
decree of divorce every moment, and will therefore 
sign myself, probably for the last time, and with 
full appreciation of the irony. 

Your affectionate wife, 

“ Ad AS A Trevellyn. 

“ P. S.— Burn this, as I have still left a sufficient 
sense of decency to dislike being found out.” 


PARADISE. 


155 


Then with the same weary air she began another 
note. 

‘‘Dear Mr. Pampero,” this one ran, “yon must 
really excuse me from meeting you below on the 
piazza this evening, as you so kindly proposed. My 
poor head is sadly aching, and I contemplate the 
rash act of retiring at once. 

*“ Give my best love to your sweet little wife, and 
with hopes of seeing you early to-morrow, how early 
I will not venture to say, 

“ Believe me, in haste, 

“ Your friend, 

“ Adasa Trevellyit.” 

Then folding up the two letters she directed them, 
and calling a servant, bade him mail the one and 
hand the other in person to Mr. Pampero. 


CHAPTEK XXY. 

Mr. Axel, following the reflections of the stars, 
approached the deep, dark pool. He was alone 
with the mystery of night ; what should prevent 
him ? He was sorely distressed. It was particu- 
larly advisable, — why not ? 

Mr. Axel, as we have said, with all his inconsis- 
tencies, was ever constant to cold water. As mustard 
and hot water were to Mr. Pampero, so was cold 
water to Mr. Axel. Cold water was his panacea for 
every evil, his relief for every physical or mental 
disquietude. It created a bracing reaction, he main- 


156 


PARADISE. 


tained, which enabled a return to commonplace 
thought. He felt an uncontrollable sadness steal 
over him. What more natural than to throw it off 
by the shock of a bath ? 

At one solitary moment he had a different purpose 
in approaching the pool, but the thought of sacrific- 
ing any more for such a woman made him, when he 
came to think of it, laugh out loud. He knew her 
too well ; he knew what secret ecstasy it would give 
her to have her name coupled with a tragedy at an 
old lover’s expense. 

There was really no reason why he shouldn’t take 
a bath. He was alone in the mystery of night ; no 
one was near, and only the Hock of Gilead would 
notice that he wore no bathing-clothes. Mr. Axel 
removed the rest of his garments and sprang into 
the pool. The shock acted like a charm. After 
all, there was something in life : it was good cold 
water. After all, there was something in life even 
for him ; something in his novels, too, if he only 
gave them a chance. Suppose the cheerfully-begin- 
ning ones did end sadly ? There were the sad ones 
ending humorously to strike an average. If he only 
had something to brace up his literary tone as water 
braced up his physical system, he might gain dis- 
tinction yet. And as he splashed about and dove 
in the water a reflection occurred to him that well 
may have come from the stars of heaven. No mor- 
bid or highly-strained reflection this, but a bright, 
healthy one, that enabled him to leave the water 
with as pronounced a cure as that of any distressed 
cripple leaving the pool of Bethesda. The sharp, 
brisk walk home even increased the healthy tone of 
his thoughts ; and, indeed, the only drawback was 


PARADISE. 


157 


the fear that he would arrive at the hotel too late to 
put his project into execution that same evening. 

****** 

Mrs. Pampero meanwhile felt almost as badly as 
Mrs. Trevellyn did. She, too, had a headache,— 
most valuable of woman’s allies ; and if she had 
conceived it possible to sleep she also would have 
committed the rash act of retiring early. Alas ! 
there seemed to be no sleep for her, and the long, 
weary evening followed an equally dismal after- 
noon. The paroxysm of weeping had subsided like 
a storm, leaving a calmness rather of exhaustion 
than of contentment. 

She, too, could see the full bearings of her course, 
and the farther out to sea it took her, the less power 
she had to alter it. 

About the time Mr. Axel left Mrs. Trevellyn’ s 
room, she conceived it her painful duty to send for 
Mr. Pampero and argue with him calmly as to the 
shorl>sightedness of his proceedings, and to ask him 
with equal calmness whither he thought it would 
lead him. Mrs. Pampero, as we know, never de- 
viated from her duty. 

Mr. Pampero presented himseK, if it must be con- 
fessed, in a somewhat bad humor for him. He had 
looked forward with an intensity of longing that he 
would scarcely have admitted to seeing Mrs. Trev- 
ellyn on the piazza, and he resented the fact that no 
explanation as yet had arrived of her failure to keep 
the rendezvous. 

The little stratagem that he had been practising 
with her he found at times approaching dangerously 
near to realism ; but these very dangers, if no others 


158 


PARADISE. 


did, had a fascination for him he found it difhciilt 
to resist. 

Mrs. Pampero received him in the semi-marital 
fashion she had logically adopted as appropriate to 
the peculiar relations they now bore to each other. 
She called him Mr. Pampero instead of George, and 
treated him generally with an air of combined resig- 
nation and constraint that could not be too much 
admired. 

I trust you will not object, Mr. Pampero, to 
what I have to say,” she remarked, “ but I conceive 
it my duty — quite in the abstract — to call your 
attention to your conduct.” 

Mr. Pampero looked up from the chair he had 
taken. 

“You will do me a particular favor, madam, to 
leave my conduct alone.” 

He was still thinking of that walk on the piazza, 
and was still nettled because no explanation had yet 
come from Mrs. Trevellyn of her failure to keep the 
rendezvous. 

“I can’t leave it alone when I see what it will 
lead to.” 

“You are very kind,” he said, grimly. “ But 
might I suggest, Mrs. Pampero, that my conduct can 
make very little diiference to you now ? I have not 
interfered with your line of action. I have not even 
put in an answer to the divorce proceedings ; there- 
fore let my proceedings go by default,” and Mr. 
Pampero laughed unpleasantly. 

She would not, however, lose her temper ; his 
cruelty and his glaringly evident lack of logic and 
appreciation sliould not make her forget herself. 

“ I am only speaking in the abstract,” she went 


PARADISE. 


159 


on very calmly, “ but I shall still retain a sufficient 
interest in your welfare to desire you should not 
come to harm. Had it not been for this unseemly 
conduct of yours for the past few days, I should 
even have retained— my— my aifection— for you ; 
but as it is — there is only one desire I have left.” 

‘‘ And what is that, madam 

That you should not be made a fool of,” said 
Mrs. Pampero, a little hotly. 

‘ ‘ What do you mean by my being made a fool of, 
Mrs. Pampero ?” 

I mean that you should beware of serpents.” 

Madam, pray explain to whom you allude.” 

I allude to Mrs. Trevellyn.” 

‘‘Mrs. Trevellyn is a very estimable woman, 
madam, of deep perspicacity of character, and I dis^ 
like the coupling of her name with a serpent.” 

Mrs. Pampero broke out impatiently. ‘ ‘ There is 
something so undignified in it. I don’t care, of 
course, for myself, and it is no business of mine, but 
I still retain the desire not to feel shame on your 
account. I have talked over the whole matter with 
Rebecca, and she is of the same opinion. Indeed, 
as I am expecting her now : that must be her at the 
door ;” and hearing a knock, Mrs. Pampero rose to 
admit her sister. 

“ O Lord !” exclaimed Mr. Pampero, weakly pre- 
senting his back to this re-enforcement of strength 
as he took a seat. 

Instead of Miss Rebecca, it was merely a boy, 
however, bringing a note, and with the usual forget- 
fulness of boys, he was unable to state whether it 
was intended for Mr. or Mrs. Pampero. 

Oh, ladies, Avhy, when you write to married gentle- 


160 


PARADISE. 


men, don’t you maintain the old-fashioned dis- 
tinction between Esq. and Mr. ? According to the 
standard of propriety that formerly ruled, one ad- 
dressed one’s gardener as Mr, William T. Jenks, but 
one’s chum as William T. Jenks, Esq. There is an 
additional reason, if you object to forms, for using 

Esquire” — namely, that it can never be mistaken 
as ‘‘ Mr.” can be for Mrs.,” and so the letter be 
read by madam. 

I am surprised that a woman of Mrs. Trevellyn’s 
experience should not have used this precaution. 
Probably she considered all the male sex as mere 
delvers in her pleasure garden and servants to her 
whims. She was weary, tired, exhausted, however, 
when she folded up and sent those two letters. Per- 
haps it was a lapsus plumes^ or perhaps a greater 
slip than this, a lapsus guhernaculi ^ — I mean a 
lapse from that guiding caution that usually steered 
her so exultantly on her way. 

Mrs. Pampero took the letter, and the carelessly 
ending r” of “ Mr.” fully authorized her to believe 
that it was intended for Mrs.,” and to master the 
contents herself. 

Mr. Pampero, still expecting Becky, was sitting 
with his back turned to the door, thinking always 
that it was Becky. At one moment he did glance 
around, and if any thought crossed his mind on see- 
ing his wife reading a note, it was that it came from 
Miss Pebecca in excuse for her non-appearance. He 
failed to notice, however, that Mrs. Pampero was 
reading this note with an intensity of interest very 
different from any that she would have displayed 
on her sister’ s account ; but Mr. Pampero was lulled 
into a non-suspicious mood by gladness at his own 


PARADISE. 


161 


deliverance from the dreaded re-enforcement. For 
Mr. Pampero was not a really strong character ; he 
felt taken down by Mrs. Trevellyn’s neglect of him, 
and was consequently quite unequal to face the 
sparkling and decisive Miss Becky. It was in this 
condition of unpreparedness that he was startled by 
a loud scream, and turning hastily he perceived his 
wife falling back on the sofa. 

Mr. Pampero, as we have just said, was not a 
strong character, and at that moment a weak, con- 
temptible reflection crossed him — oh, if Mr. Axel 
were only here to have his arms “go out spasmodi- 
cally” and save him the scene he knew would follow ! 

Mrs. Pampero had several kinds of scream ; they 
were seldom resorted to, but for that very reason 
they were more expressive. A musical ear would 
have distinguished them as A minor, B flat, E major, 
etc. Mr. Pampero was not possessed of a musical 
ear, but he knew that when his wife gave utterance 
to one particular scream, it was the very acme of 
outraged indignation. It was the ultra of 

vocalized emotionalism, and left nothing further to 
be said or expected. 

That particular intonation always brought Mr. 
Pampero down to the level of lesser mortals. 

“ What is it, my darling ? Oh, tell me what is 
it !” he exclaimed, with abject terror as he ap- 
proached. 

Mrs. Pampero essayed to speak, but a convulsive 
gasp swallowed her utterance as she pointed to the 
letter. 

Thus directed, Mr. Pampero picked up the letter, 
and ponderously adjusting his glasses, took it 
close under the chandelier. A start of pleased sur- 


162 


PARADISE. 


prise at the handwriting was his first emotion. Be- 
wilderment was the next. ‘‘Why, what is this?’’ 
he ejaculated, beginning to read out loud. “ ‘You 
insinuate, however, that Mr. Pampero’s vast wealth 
might enable yon to retrieve your broken fortunes 
equally as well — ’ Why, what’s the meaning of 
this ?” and he turned to his wife for assistance. 

“ Read on,” gasped Mrs. Pampero, from the sofa. 

“ ‘ I suppose I can marry him,’ ” Mr. Pampero 
continued, skipping here and there in his anxiety 
to reach the heart of the matter. “ ‘ But he’s not 
an agreeable character, for he combines a pomposity 
with a small cunningness of disposition that makes 
him at once the laughing-stock and the contempt of 
the whole place.’ ” 

“ That’s you !” cried Mrs. Pampero. 

“ I really don’t think this letter can be meant for 
us,” said Mr. Pampero, much confused. 

“ It isn’t meant for us to see, but it refers to us — 
finish it.” 

Mr. Pampero, still much doubting, read it 
through ; and then over again, from the new stand- 
point suggested by his wife. Mr. Pampero was a 
little slow in seizing a situation, but he seized this 
one at last. Mr. Pampero, in all save the manage- 
ment of railroads, was besides, as we know, a simple 
character, and the page of infamy suggested by the 
note was a revelation to him. He had one vague 
terror that pervaded his life like a nightmare, 
which had been, in fact, largely instrumental 
in his success— namely, his holy horror of being 
financially bled. A sudden warmth of emotion 
went out to his own wife for saving him from this 
dire fate. Then, besides, he was one of those 


PARADISE. 


1G3 


natures that, missing one support, fall back instinc- 
tively on another. And still again, as we are aware, 
his attentions to Mrs. Trevellyn had only been dic- 
tated by the hope of curing his wife’s fantastic hal- 
lucination. 

‘‘ I was trifling with her,” he said, and this is 
the revenge she takes.” 

“ Oh, George, but you oughtn’t to trifle ; just 
think what will happen to you when I am not with 
you to keep you on your guard.” 

‘‘ Nellie, why in God’s world, then, won’t you 
always stay and keep me on my guard 

“ I really don’t know but it is my duty, after all,” 
admitted his wife. 

“ Then why won’t you confess you’ve been a fool 
and stop these infernal proceedings ? Indeed, you 
will do me a particular favor, my dear, a very par- 
ticular favor, if you will stop them at once.” 

She threw her arms impulsively about her hus- 
band’ s neck. 

“ I fear that horrid serpent has opened my eyes a 
little,” she said ; you are not so superior, after 
all.” 

I never claimed to be. Now, it’s agreed they 
are at an end — ” a sudden knock came at the door, 
as if to clench the bargain. ‘‘ I don’t think we’ll 
need Becky to-night,” suggested Mr. Pampero, 
going this time himself to the portal ; but before 
he could reach it he started back at the uninvited 
entrance of the Dismal Man. It’s come !” cried 
that gentleman exultantly — ‘ ^ it’ s come ! Excu se my 
intrusion, but I knew you were here, and I couldn’t 
resist the temptation of being the first to congratu- 
late you. ” 


164 


PARADISE. 


‘‘What^s come, sir?” asked Mr. Pampero, with 
an infusion of fresh dignity. 

‘‘Why, Mrs. Pampero’s decree of divorce. I 
knew how anxious you were, so I Just brought it 
from the office myself;” and he thrust into Mr. 
Pampero’s hand a formal-looking document in a 
long blue envelope. 


CHAPTER XXYI. 

But why did not the much-expected Miss Rebecca 
come ? 

Because she, too, felt wearied after that long drive, 
and having lain down after dinner for a brief nap on 
her sofa, had simply overslept herseK. When she 
woke she remembered her engagement, and con- 
tritely looking at her watch, she saw that it was 
half -past eleven o’clock. Nevertheless, her sister 
might not yet have retired. She would, at all 
events, go down and, if possible, make amends. 
Mrs. Pampero’s suite of rooms was on the ground 
floor, and only removed from the main hall by a 
short passage. 

Miss Rebecca as she went down the stairs was in 
a softened frame of mind, and the nearer she drew 
to her sister’s apartments the more contrite she felt. 
To reach her destination necessitated her passing 
the large drawing-room, and she was just opposite 
the door when . she saw Mr. Axel, of all others, 
approaching her. Mr. Axel was coming down the 
hall as if he had Just entered the hotel. Impetuously 
and to her intense surprise he took her by the hand. 


PARADISE. 


165 


'^Pve got something very important to say to 
you,” and his very impetuosity carried her back 
into the room by which she had just passed. 

We have said she felt repentent. It was probably 
for this reason she so weakly yielded. 

Sit down there, ” he said, ‘‘ just where you made 
me once sit.” 

She obediently did as requested, and noticed 
for the first time that the lights were more than half 
turned down. 

‘^Now, what is it you want?” she asked, in a 
matter-of-fact voice that little represented the true 
state of her feelings. 

I want you to change your name,” he said. 

To change my name !” she cried, remembering 
his allusion to the subject on a former occasion. 

‘‘Yes, to change your name,” he repeated, as he 
took his seat beside her. 

“ But what name should I take ?” she asked, in- 
nocently. 

“ I want you to take the name of Axel,” he said ; 
and then, recovering his more usual manner, he 
slyly tried to capture her hand. 

Miss Rebecca was for once thoroughly non- 
plussed ; she had brought the proposal on herself 
by her question. She was nonplussed, and Mr. 
Axel basely took advantage of her condition by 
sliding his arm, since he could not secure her hand, 
about her waist. Mr. Axel was that kind of a man 
when he was deprived of an inch he quietly took an 
ell in revenge. His very intimate friends said he 
was a fox. 

“You see, if you don’t change your name to 
Axel,” he continued, in that half-serious, half -play- 


166 


PARADISE. 


ful way lie had, “ no one else will, and I shall have 
to blame yon. ” 

“ Blame me !” said Becky. 

‘‘ Yes ; I’ve been so dutifully obeying your direc- 
tions, that being disagreeable has grown into a 
confirmed habit. That’s the reason I seem so dis- 
agreeable to you now. That’s the reason you won’t 
let me take your hand. Becky, did you ever see 
a field of hops V ’ 

A field of hops !” she exclaimed, and this time 
her surprise was naturally so genuine that she failed 
to be surprised at the lesser fact that he did secure 
her hand. 

“ Yes, of hops. I’m very much like hops. Hops 
are a very beautiful vine, but they require to be held 
up. Left to themselves they basely creep along the 
ground, and they even become dwarfed and stunted 
in their growth. Becky, to bloom out in their full 
luxuriance my talents need something to cling to. 
Becky, will you be my supporting staff 

“ Well, if that’s not an extraordinary request !” 
she cried, not knowing what else to say. 

Well, then, will you marry me ? See how natu- 
rally everything falls into shape if you do. The ex- 
ample we set causes your sister to fall back on Mr. 
Pampero— and then I’ll have you to — ” (fight off 
Mrs. Trevellyn was on the edge of his lips, but he 
stayed himself just in time). “ It’s hard to be re- 
fusing my request just because it’s couched in such 
unpoetic language,” he went on, with deep artful- 
ness ; ‘‘ but it does make a man unpoetic to be con- 
tinually told how repulsive he is.’^ 

^‘Who is continually telling you that?” asked 
Miss Hebecca, again thrown off her guard. 


PARADISE. 


167 


‘‘ You are.” 

‘‘ I — I never said such a thing in my life !” 

‘‘ Oh, you didn’t, eh !” he exclaimed, as if much 
relieved ; then you mustn’t say hov7 repulsive I am 
now r and taking her in his arms he boldly sprung 
with a kiss the trap to which his last remarks so 
craftily led up. 

‘‘ Great Scott !” if that old hotel sofa should ever 
take it into its head to go into print, what a book it 
could write ! It was some three seconds afterward 
that the lively Miss Becky escaped from the sitting- 
room. She looked flushed, but she felt happy, — 
happy in a wild, exhilarated, self-questioning, dis- 
satisfied fashion. Happy that she had not de- 
meaned herself by saying ‘‘ yes,” and perhaps dis- 
satisfied because she had not said “ no. ” But, then, 
how could she have said ‘‘ no” ? She never had the 
chance to say it. Such a base, base advantage to 
take of her ! And she indignantly tried to brush 
away the red imprints on her cheek. But, then, 
might slie not have made him bold by her cruel 
treatment ? The idea of asking her to be his prop 
and stay ! AVas a like projjosal ever made to any 
girl before ? Yet he was not the weak character he 
professed to be — not he ! 

Miss Becky thereupon mounted quickly to her 
own room, and proceeded to note down carefully in 
a little book she kept for the purpose this last offer. 
To any one looking over her shoulder, this book was 
a visible wonder of method. Each name was in 
alphabetical order, and with place, time, and at- 
tendant circumstances entered with the most busi- 
ness-like exactness. 

Thus, under A” we see Adams, Henry Charles. 


168 


PARADISE. 


(Rear piazza, Congress Hall, Saratoga, July, 18 — , 
9. 45 p. M. ) Short, slovenly, and sentimental. V owed 
to commit suicide, but didn’t. Refused. 

B. Boyd, Charles P. (Metropolitan Opera House, 
December 5th.) Stiff, prim, and starchy ; never 
opens his lips, but great on bouquets. Retained 
till close of ball season, then D. D. [Delicately 
Dismissed ?] 

‘‘C. Cyllimon, Paul. (Returning from church, 
January 9th.) Unobjectionable, but after a trial of 
ten days. Refused. Too unobjectionable ; I hate 
milk and water. 

“ D. Daulton, the Hon. Percival Howard St. John. 
(Cliffs, Newport, August 5th.) High-sounding 
name ; but only second son. Retained until more 
definite information arrives concerning eldest 
brother. Later, becoming importunate. Dismissed 
regretfully (title too remote), V. E. F. [Vows of 
Eternal Friendship ?] Might be useful going to 
London. N. B. — Still later. Information just 
arrived : E. B. M. T. — 0. L. ! ! ! [Eldest Brother 
has Male Twins— 0 Lord ! ?] 

“ K. Koupska, Stanislaus Impetuoski. (Beach, 
N arragansett Pier, August 9th. ) Attached to Polish 
Legation. Suggested that they should never have 
let him loose. R. P. B.” [Refused Point Blank ?] 

Miss Rebecca, after making her last entry, allowed 
her eye to pass sentimentally down the page. Then 
after doing this she proceeded to scratch the name 
of Axel out. ‘‘ He never was serious — of course he 
wasn’t ! The idea !” and a feeling of resentment 
mingling with one of bitter sadness, she closed the 
book impatiently and went to bed. 


PARADISE. 


169 


CHAPTER XXYII. 

Well/^ exclaimed tlie Dismal Man, as lie but- 
ton-holed Mr. Axel the very next day, ‘‘ you must 
confess you are all a very peculiar lot. Here last 
night, when out of pure interest in the matter, I 
rushed in to communicate to Mrs. Pampero that her 
decree had arrived at last, up starts Mr. Pampero 
and almost kicks me down-stairs. Then Mrs. Trev- 
ellyn, I understand, left suddenly in the morning. 
Besides this, there’s such a peculiar report started 
about you that I’ve been looking all over for you, 
merely to have you contradict it.” 

‘‘What’s that?” asked Mr. Axel, in his easy, 
good-humored way, for this morning his usual elas- 
ticity had returned, and he felt as happy as a sky- 
lark. 

“ Why, that you’ve proposed to Miss Garland, 
and, what's the greater wonder, she’s accepted you. 
Xow, I really hope this isn’t so. I do, indeed,” 
and he looked with real commiseration at his friend. 

“ And why do you hope it isn’t so ?” demanded 
Axel, losing his temper in spite of himself. 

“ Well, you know my bitter experiences lead me to 
take a low estimate of marriage. Indeed, all women 
are divided into two classes : the cat- woman and the 
dog- woman ; the first possessing the feline instincts, 
soft, treacherous, and deceitful ; the other, those 
qualities we attribute as characteristic to the dog, — 
faithfulness, sturdiness, and honesty. All women 
will be found to divide more or less on these lines. 
But the trouble is that the virtues of the one are as 
unmanageable as those of the other are unreliable ; 


170 


PARADISE. 


jand whichever yon take you’ll lead a cat-and-dog’s 
life of it. I don’t want to discourage you, my 
young friend, but if you do marry, look out for 
three-quarter wagons, and remember no American 
jury will find you guilty for giving a wrong point 
in stocks. By the way,” he continued, suddenly 
returning, you’ll excuse me^ but I had almost for- 
gotten to ask you a very important question. Are' 
Mr. Pampero and his wife to be married over again ? 
They’ll have to be, if they’re going to live together 
again. It really wouldn’t be moral now if they 
didn’t, would it V ’ 

Axel could restrain his growing indignation no 
longer. “ Will you have the goodness to explain, 
sir, the motives of your deep interest in my own and 
my future family affairs ?” 

“ Well, if you wish to know, I suppose there’s no 
harm in my telling you,” said the Dismal Man. 
‘‘I’ve been writing a book about you all, and only 
want you to supply me with the actual conclusion.” 
****** 

Mr. Pampero and Mrs. Pampero were actually mar- 
ried over again very quietly, as it was only natural 
they should be. 

The idea of a marriage among any of the Pilgrims 
sent another spasm through divorce circles, and this, 
vibrating eastward, prepared the way for Mrs. Pam- 
pero. Whether because of the truly romantic flavor 
of her adventures, or because, as the Dismal Man 
had suggested, there is nothing, after aU, like a 
soupgon of scandal to help a lady on in super- 
fashionable life, Mrs. Pampero found herself on her 
return taken up by fashionable circles. She became 


PARADISE. 


171 


the rage, so to speak ; and for fear of relapsing 
again into nonentity, she proceeded to erect in the 
heart of that most favorable centre for social adver- 
tisement— Newport— her long-cherished dream of a 
Queen Anne villa ; reaching the acme of her de- 
lighted ambition when she secured a box in the new 
Metropolitan Opera House (on the first tier) and a 
pew in Grace Church. 

As for Axel, his wife proved in reality a find,’’ 
and he blessed the very name of Paradise for having 
discovered her there. 

He never wrote a book on Paradise nor on any 
other subject, for Becky soon put a stop to all of 
that. Indeed, she showed him how contemptible was 
a literary life even if successful, and persuaded him 
to adopt the nobler and more appreciated calling of 
a Railroad King. Then his talents, as the vine to 
which he had likened them, did bloom forth,* or at 
all events they were applauded by an obsequious 
jDublic, which is the most that any man can ask. 

Mrs. Trevellyn did not commit suicide any more 
than Mr. Axel did. On the contrary, she went to 
that Gallic city to which good Americans go when 
they die, and naughty ones before they die, in fear 
of winding up at a more disagreeable place, per- 
haps. 

Captain Hilton Tilton established a line of coaches 
between the next town and this much-frequented city 
of Paradise, and Mrs. John Q. Ferrible was so fre- 
quently seen on the box-seat by his side that were 
she not a very fashionable — a super-fashionable — 
woman she would undoubtedly have been talked 
about. 

While as for the Dismal Man, like a melancholy 


173 


PARADISE. 


ghost of the departed, he flits around the piazzas 
of the Grand Disunion Hotel, repeating to every 
fresh arrival ‘‘his hitter^ hitter experiences,” and 
conscientiously warning them against Points in 
Stocks. 


FINIS. 




K 








• • 



r 







\ 

t 




» 


% 


\ 




( 


( 




I - 



\ 









J 

t f 





j 


I 



k 



f 

% 


I 


« 



i 




^ - 


» . ' - ' t 

: ✓ ' r 






\ 



\ 


« 




\ 


✓ 


I 


t 


\ 

/ 



I 


#. 

/ 


a 




f 


i 


* 



K 



t 


\ 



I 


f 


r 




4 


1 


’ k 
1 


} 


, • 


I k 


9 


4 




/ 


s 


0 


s 


A 


% 


^ f 


!■■> • 

i 






* 


*S 


' t 


> 


» % 

t 


< 


t 


I 




V 




k 


V •' 


< ' V 




\ 


V ^ 



V 







. >' '^* 

^.^6- 





) 




■»' . A o 

'<i 

l ^'. J ^ *>1 


■ Yv-?-!'-^ .'sr 

i'A-iir^i 





I 


i 

i; 

> 

\ 

I 

I 


I 

t 

i 

I 


, 

.» 

I 


» 


. 1 - 


i 


, K 


I 


• >, 

i ' 






o H 0 






V. *"’• v?’^ *»”->’ aO 

.‘"si®* 

VA 


O « A 


" 'T ^ 

r^ 


0 


■^o V^ 


4 O . 

L> 1 ft 




O N O 


o jp 'V\ 

>► V tf. 

♦ 0 ♦ 

V' . 0 ^ O 

V ^ . -1^ A ^ • <s. 

*. -wfe” ' 

iww.- '^, 


4 O. 

L? •»<' 


V' 


'=^ a'^ <U ^.r '“•* 




^ » , , • ' ^'?' 


-*• -^ V 

o 


9 ^ * 0^0 
® " 'x. O, 


t • o 


'* c,':* j^ 

♦ 47 ^ o 

*> 4 -^ ^ N.' ^ 

o -'o . ^ A <" ^ 

^ 0 ® ^ ^ 


0 « ^ « 0 


• • 


o V 


< o 

> ^ 
♦ r 


J. ^ V 

* 0 ^ 


<p> 


o N O 








■ 0 ^* 0 .. ^ > s • 


O. .9 


\ .* 


V 




^ 1 ^ 


A’' . .. ^ 'V 


* 


1 *^ * 


Eft 4 

* ^ (y 


xO 


‘^^-f,* oh 


f ■ 




V^ . ^ o 


o H 0 


<0 




0 




2 


X V,A 




A V ° A ^ * • , 1 “ aV 

V , ^L*yL'‘^ .<y * '' • o^ <> \y , s 

O ^ 


^ -- 

O 'o . A '* A ^ 



jO Vj - Q 

O o> *0 j * 

o> •<•»•’ ^0^ <#-^_ 


> 'V V<^fiy/ii^- «. 

A° " ’ • .# 

■aO V ‘® 

o '^^x-V 

* ' ^ 'O • A - A <- 

0^ • ^ * * ♦ *^o c ® ^ ® ■* ^ 

C ,‘^v?fe.- o , ‘ 

•^o>^ 




0 0^ 4 , 

^ 

ST^GUSTINE .^P 

I-. A ' "^n. ^•'^ <• jA w£ A «» 

FLA. ^ ^ 


vpC,' 


32084 


f aV . 


’ ^'^'’ -» 















